boy friend does porn

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Flyhard, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Flyhard

    Flyhard New Member

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    ok I have to ask, what would u do if ur bf tells u he was approached by private man to do a porn??? would u be ok with it or not???
     
  2. mellisa1983

    mellisa1983 New Member

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    If U can watch or participate, why not? it all depends on how secure UR relationship with him is...
     
  3. Flyhard

    Flyhard New Member

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    k he asked me if i wont mind if otther dudes fuck him, and if he fuck other dudes... personally i do not want my bf to be spoiled
     
  4. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    I am a monogamous guy, so I would say absolutely not... it doesn't have anything to do with security in my view... I just believe in monogamy for me...

    That said, if other people have more open relationships, that is up to them and I am not saying anything against it. I, however, would say no way.
     
  5. Flyhard

    Flyhard New Member

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    exacly what i thought, then he breaks up with me because im am too controlling
     
  6. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Well, you don't have to say it like that. Just tell him you're not comfortable with the idea. That's not controlling, it's just expressing your view. If someone breaks up with you for that, you really are better off without them. I've been around the block a few times and been hurt many times. There are other people out there and if you desire a monogamous relationship and he doesn't, it probably means that there is someone better for you out there.

    Also, if he breaks up with you because of a silly reason like that, it should prove he's not the right one for you.

    Good luck.
     
  7. Flyhard

    Flyhard New Member

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    cool thanks jacob fox, it takes a 3rd party to put the whole thing in perspective. i had no one to this, so it has been eating at me for days
     
  8. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    You're welcome... and I hope it all goes well for you :)
     
  9. Viking_UK

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    You're obviously not comfortable with him having sex with other guys and he should respect that. It's not unreasonable to want your relationship to be exclusive. If he wants to have sex with other people, whether it's for money or not and you're not happy with it, you probably don't have much of a future together. Talk to him about it. Let him know you're not happy with the idea.

    I suppose a lot of it depends on the type of work he wants to do. If he just wants to do solo work, that's completely different from having full sex. Another possible option would be for you to work with him and for you both to only have penetrative sex with each other.
     
  10. exwhyzee

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    If I was asked this...we would have two choices. A) He can do porn...without me in his life, or B) He can decline the offer and keep me around. I'm not one to get in the way of one's dreams...but I'm not taking that ride with him.
     
  11. finsuptx

    finsuptx New Member

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    Yes, I agree. Stomp all over your bf's opportunity to fulfill his dreams and aspirations (I didn't hear you mention that you asked what HE wanted.) because of a failed notion of monogamy. No one is going to come back in 10 years and offer this kind of thing, and if he respected your relationship enough to discuss it with you first, you could at least take into account what your PARTNER wants and discuss it with HIM.

    If you can't discuss it with one another and resolve it, then the relationship is in no danger... there is no REAL relationship. Take a step back and ask yourself WHY you don't want him to do it, and why he wants to do it. You won't get an answer that solves your problem here... this has to be handled between the two of you.

    I hope it works out for you both.
     
  12. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Wow, talk about taking everyone's advice out of context. No one told him to stomp on anyone's dreams. But if he wants a monogamous relationship (which he obviously does) and his boyfriend wants to do porn with other guys-then the relationship isn't going to work no matter how much they talk it over. It's better to both be honest with what they want, and move on than it would be for him to stay in a relationship and constantly feeling terrible because his boyfriend is sleeping with other guys.
     
  13. finsuptx

    finsuptx New Member

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    umm, that's what I said ;)
     
  14. buddy629

    buddy629 Member

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    My feelings exactly.
     
  15. ericbythebay

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    Without getting into the relationship aspects, others have covered that quite well. Your boyfriend should really think about the long term complications. Acting in porn isn't Favored by society. Does he really want this work to come up ten or twenty years from now? Is he getting paid enough to offset future potential job losses? Does he want family and friends seeing his work?
     
  16. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Oh, then I definitely misunderstood. Please accept my apologies :)
     
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