Ok a little background. I'm bi, but probably more like gay and in denial. Everyone thinks I'm straight, and I don't really plan on ever coming out. Last year I met a guy online. It started as a cyber sex kinda thing but he was really nice. We talked alot online and eventually on the phone until the point where we were talking everyday. I wasn't looking for a relationship at all and I knew he was so I made it clear that I was looking for friends with benefits at the most. He persisted and along the way I developed feelings for him as well. It was more an experiment on my part, seeing what it would be like dating a guy. Even though I now think of him as my boyfriend, he is more serious about it than I am. Its been a year since we met online so of course he wants to meet in person. He's already tried to make plans to come see me several times. I keep making excuses because in my mind, when we meet that makes the relationship real. Thats scary because I never really thought it would go this far. Now he says that the first week of June he's making a trip to see me, no matter what. I don't know what to do. In one way, it would be fun to actually have a date with a guy instead of pretending to be straight all the time. Being myself in public sounds pretty appealing. But at the same time, he is more invested in this relationship than I am, and meeting will just make that stronger. I don't want to hurt him, but I honestly don't plan on spending my life with him, or any man for that matter. I need some advice. Am I leading this guy on if we meet, or am I just trying something new and finding myself?