Boyfriend jealous of this site

TheEnforcer

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Hello all, I'm looking for second and third opinions...

The guy that I'm currently going out with does not like me looking at pictures nor reading about other people and their relationship issues. He doesn't like this site (probably because there are waaay prettier dicks on here than his...)

Yesterday, he asked to use my computer to order a pizza. Mind you, this was at a social gathering at my place. I turn my head for one moment and then I find him lurking in my history to see the sites that I've visited. He finds Adam4Adam - Free online dating & hookup, gay, chat, cam ... I know how it looks, but it's not what it seems. I had recently gone on there, not necessarily to look for sex, but to be the voyeur that I am and see what's out there...

He blew up in front of my friends that were present and ruined the vibe of my get together...

THEN, I go back to adam4adam.com and notice that he either changed my password, or deleted my account altogether!

I understand how he may feel, but at the same time, I do not like conniving individuals that sabotage others just because things don't go the way they should...

What is your opinion of this? Should I let it go? or should I confront him about the involuntary deletion of the account?
 

nips4466

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It seems that he is not understanding of the things you like, so I wouldn't let it go. Since you mention that there are way prettier dicks out there than his, you seem to be tolerant of him...so anyways it is a privacy thing and he should respect it even if he doesn't like what you like.
 

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I understand how he may feel, but at the same time, I do not like conniving individuals that sabotage others just because things don't go the way they should...

What is your opinion of this? Should I let it go? or should I confront him about the involuntary deletion of the account?

@TheEnforcer:

First off, I agree with the reply above that you need better computer security... Second, why on earth would you let someone use your computer when you have websites were you have saved passwords and/or are still logged into them ?

It sounds like you really should set your browser to purge the history automatically after each session if you are going to let people use your computer without literally being right there watching them use it...

To address the issue of what was done to your account on A4A, that was computer trespassing/hacking/unauthorized access and is a serious felony in most locations... It sounds like at the very least you should not allow him to use your computer(s) unsupervised anymore...

You should really step back for a minute and examine your relationship dynamic with this guy, if this is just the latest incident in a pattern of temper tantrums/outbursts when situations which provoke jealousy/rivalry/trust issues arise then it may be time to cut your losses and end your relationship before things escalate any further...
 

Frostyman

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I understand where the other people are coming from, and they are offering advice you should consider.

However, since you are in a relationship with this person, it is your responsibility to attempt to see where he is coming from...is he always jealous? was this something you knew about him beforehand? does he actually have a reason to be jealous? does he know about your voyeurism? etc.

I'm not trying to defend him in any way, but I always like to try and see why a person reacts the way they have before I decided what to do about it. That's just my opinion however.
 

rj90210

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ive been in both of ur positions, so my opinion isnt what to do with the computer, its wat to do with HIM. if he doesnt understand ur reason 4 being on those sites
try to explain it to him
but NOT in a way that makes him feel like hes in trouble, if u do it that way he'll completely disregard everything you've said
try explaining it to him wen hes happy, like after sex
and if he doesn't try to change, u should dump his ass
 

crushinonted

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The guy that I'm currently going out with does not like me looking at pictures nor reading about other people and their relationship issues.
...
I know how it looks, but it's not what it seems. I had recently gone on there, not necessarily to look for sex, but to be the voyeur that I am and see what's out there...

He blew up in front of my friends that were present and ruined the vibe of my get together.
...
I understand how he may feel, but at the same time, I do not like conniving individuals that sabotage others just because things don't go the way they should...

From what you've written, your boyfriend has serious insecurities, of which you're well aware. Your "not necessarily" comment might be a good reason why your boyfriend is so insecure. Seeing what's out there is often interpreted as searching for someone "better". If it's all truly innocent, I would suggest talking with your boyfriend about the boundaries of your relationship, exactly what you're willing to compromise.

As for his reaction... I would have no patience for someone revealing private relationship issues in front of guests. Deleting your account was unbelievably juvenile. I don't know that I could forgive those things.
 

mjonesss

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The guy that I'm currently going out with does not like me looking at pictures nor reading about other people and their relationship issues. He doesn't like this site (probably because there are waaay prettier dicks on here than his...)

Yesterday, he asked to use my computer to order a pizza. Mind you, this was at a social gathering at my place. I turn my head for one moment and then I find him lurking in my history to see the sites that I've visited. He finds Adam4Adam - Free online dating & hookup, gay, chat, cam ... I know how it looks, but it's not what it seems. I had recently gone on there, not necessarily to look for sex, but to be the voyeur that I am and see what's out there...

He blew up in front of my friends that were present and ruined the vibe of my get together...

THEN, I go back to adam4adam.com and notice that he either changed my password, or deleted my account altogether!

I understand how he may feel, but at the same time, I do not like conniving individuals that sabotage others just because things don't go the way they should...

What is your opinion of this? Should I let it go? or should I confront him about the involuntary deletion of the account?[/QUOTE]



The person who violated your trust( because of their own insecurities/paranoia) should be let know if they have a problem or question( and are sincere about the " relationship") they should ASK you...not snoop and blow-up...and if what they saw caused them stress ect.....too bad, nobody asked them to look...serves them right...violating your PRIVACY.
I had a similar experience(a long time ago), with wife ( Only I was the "conniver") I am sincere about our relationship. So I went and got myself help....and got better. We now have a very open,honest,loving relationship we BOTH enjoy! Still married and both happy after 27 years......Oh, yes they should be confronted. Hope this helps.

MJ
 

Hockeytiger

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The red line is when he altered your account without your permission, and to a lesser extent searched your history. If he's doing this, the relationship is over. Time to move on.

The other issues are normal issues that need to be resolved between two lovers. And yes you are at fault over them too.

Frankly, the two of you never seemed to be right for each other. You want to titillate yourself online and it infuriates him. That is never a good combo. Secondly, you state that there are way prettier dicks on this site. That may be objectively true, but if you don't have a reasonably strong emotional attraction to your partners genitals. My guess is that you are using each other for sex, but the relationship is rather shallow, but that's more guess than anything.

The crux of the issue is that the relationship is over, if it was ever there in the first place.
 

Aegian

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I would recommend dumping him, cause it's never ok to browse through someones page history, let alone changing a password or deleting a profile.
but if you really really REALLY like him you could talk to him and try an resolve the issue.

but yeah. pretty much everyone is saying the same thing....
 

achillesx

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It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. If he's getting jealous, and you're taking shots at him on this forum, there are communication issues that need to be sorted out, or you both just need to fold your cards and find someone you're better compatible with.
 

kevin91

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From what you've written, your boyfriend has serious insecurities, of which you're well aware. Your "not necessarily" comment might be a good reason why your boyfriend is so insecure. Seeing what's out there is often interpreted as searching for someone "better". If it's all truly innocent, I would suggest talking with your boyfriend about the boundaries of your relationship, exactly what you're willing to compromise.

This. You should think of your own actions and words before blaming him. It seems like you don't want to be with him at all, then don't.
 

hibernian82

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imagine it was the other way and you found that, u would feel pretty insecure about yourself.
Your both in the wrong and need to talk about it, yes he should trust you but wot is done is done, he looked and found out and clearly feels he's not good enough.
 

SR_AM5

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I'm a straight guy. I view this site with my girl & I have no jealousy of the men with bigger dicks on here. She likes what she likes.
 

lovinglife

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Hello all, I'm looking for second and third opinions...

The guy that I'm currently going out with does not like me looking at pictures nor reading about other people and their relationship issues. He doesn't like this site (probably because there are waaay prettier dicks on here than his...)

Yesterday, he asked to use my computer to order a pizza. Mind you, this was at a social gathering at my place. I turn my head for one moment and then I find him lurking in my history to see the sites that I've visited. He finds Adam4Adam - Free online dating & hookup, gay, chat, cam ... I know how it looks, but it's not what it seems. I had recently gone on there, not necessarily to look for sex, but to be the voyeur that I am and see what's out there...

He blew up in front of my friends that were present and ruined the vibe of my get together...

THEN, I go back to adam4adam.com and notice that he either changed my password, or deleted my account altogether!

I understand how he may feel, but at the same time, I do not like conniving individuals that sabotage others just because things don't go the way they should...

What is your opinion of this? Should I let it go? or should I confront him about the involuntary deletion of the account?
From the sound of things, you dont like the sex of the guy youre with. "probably because there are waaay prettier dicks on here than his..." is straight up wrong to say if you love the person youre with. It is pretty hurtful actually.