Boyfriend might have a porn addiction

ilbdd03

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I've gone back and forth with my current boyfriend for 6 years. He's tall, beefy, handsome and very sweet. I originally was attracted to him because of his masculine dominant personality and big cock. During sex I always had to start him off with a BJ. I prefer kissing and holding. He always has to turn on old vintage gay wrestling videos or some type of naked wrestling while I'm sucking his cock. It was fun at first but after a couple of years it has become task oriented for me. I turn on the videos, suck his cock to get him hard, then get on my belly still he can grind on my ass, then finish him off by sucking and pinching his nipples. It has become a routine where I finish him off sucking his nips and playing with the other nip while he is stroking off like crazy while watching his videos. I've tried different thing to spruce up our sex life but he can't cum without watching the vids while I suck his nips. Rarely do we fuck anymore. I feel like I'm his masturbation toy every night. I've told my BF several times how I want to try more romantic and intimate sex but then he can't cum without his vids and nips. I am feeling insecure that he is not physically attracted to me anymore. Any advice?
 

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I don't know whether this helps or not, but I can't have penetrative sex with people I love. I'm actually writing a long story about it in the erotic fiction forum. The story has moved on into wild fantasy, but the first few chapters were based on my own real life and my own real experiences. While my partner would like me to fuck her, we find other ways to get each other off, and we love each other very much.

The reason I mention this is he might be similar to me - maybe he loves you *too much* to be able to fuck you. Could be worth exploring.
 

ilbdd03

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I don't know whether this helps or not, but I can't have penetrative sex with people I love. I'm actually writing a long story about it in the erotic fiction forum. The story has moved on into wild fantasy, but the first few chapters were based on my own real life and my own real experiences. While my partner would like me to fuck her, we find other ways to get each other off, and we love each other very much.

The reason I mention this is he might be similar to me - maybe he loves you *too much* to be able to fuck you. Could be worth exploring.
I've never thought of it that way. How could I explore this further? I guess my end goal for this relationship would be more intimacy. I wouldn't even mind finishing him off by sucking his nips to get him cumming if I could get what I want.
 

flatiron

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I've never thought of it that way. How could I explore this further? I guess my end goal for this relationship would be more intimacy. I wouldn't even mind finishing him off by sucking his nips to get him cumming if I could get what I want.
Well, in my case, I 'discovered' this fact about myself through therapy.
 
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AllDixNeedLuv69

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I've gone back and forth with my current boyfriend for 6 years. He's tall, beefy, handsome and very sweet. I originally was attracted to him because of his masculine dominant personality and big cock. During sex I always had to start him off with a BJ. I prefer kissing and holding. He always has to turn on old vintage gay wrestling videos or some type of naked wrestling while I'm sucking his cock. It was fun at first but after a couple of years it has become task oriented for me. I turn on the videos, suck his cock to get him hard, then get on my belly still he can grind on my ass, then finish him off by sucking and pinching his nipples. It has become a routine where I finish him off sucking his nips and playing with the other nip while he is stroking off like crazy while watching his videos. I've tried different thing to spruce up our sex life but he can't cum without watching the vids while I suck his nips. Rarely do we fuck anymore. I feel like I'm his masturbation toy every night. I've told my BF several times how I want to try more romantic and intimate sex but then he can't cum without his vids and nips. I am feeling insecure that he is not physically attracted to me anymore. Any advice?
I went through a spell where I wasn’t going out and finding a man for sex and started watching porn a lot.. it is so simple to find tons of porn of all kinds that eases the curiousity of things .. so over time.. with me it was just a few months and. It got to point that before I started watching so much porn I can pull my dick out about anywhere and jerk off

In bed .. on the couch in the shower.. I got rock hard and took care of it.. but after porn for that long I noticed I was horny and was in shower and did the usual to get things going and jerk off. And watch my cum hit the shower walls .but to my surprise my dick didn’t rise to the occasion

I thought it was just a fluke and don’t think much about it .. until that night I laid in bed picturing things sexually and still no hard on.. so I popped in a porn and within minutes my dick was hard as hell ready to do whatever ..

so I watched that porn.. pinched my nipples fingered my ass and came so hard it shot up past my head and on my face and a big stream went down my chest and stomach to the head of my dick.. I had never came so much at one time but this time it was everywhere …

Days went on and I kept thinking about it taking a porn to get me interested in sex / get hard … that I had to do Something .. so I went without porn for couple weeks and finally my dick worked without needing porn..

how old are you and him and how long been together .. when he get interested in porn? Anything in the porn he watches the get him asking you if want to try it?

I was going to start private conversation with you but I didn’t see the option to
 
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AllDixNeedLuv69

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Well, in my case, I 'discovered' this fact about myself through therapy.
I’ve been to therapy for my anxiety/ agoraphobia for months and it doesn’t do any good.. if therapy is what you think you need that’s fine .. but talk and get both to try doing without porn of any kind for few weeks see if that makes thing become somewhat normal
 
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flatiron

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I’ve been to therapy for my anxiety/ agoraphobia for months and it doesn’t do any good.. if therapy is what you think you need that’s fine .. but talk and get both to try doing without porn of any kind for few weeks see if that makes thing become somewhat normal
Probably depends on the person. I saw a psych for about 5 years after suffering from a pretty bad breakup which led to depression, and it worked for me. When we started talking about issues around sex, he recommended I see a sexual psychologist. So I did, and to be honest I learned quite a lot about myself.

What you get out of these experiences is equal to what you're prepared to put in.
 

AllDixNeedLuv69

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Probably depends on the person. I saw a psych for about 5 years after suffering from a pretty bad breakup which led to depression, and it worked for me. When we started talking about issues around sex, he recommended I see a sexual psychologist. So I did, and to be honest I learned quite a lot about myself.

What you get out of these experiences is equal to what you're prepared to put in.
i beg to difer on the comment--what you get out of these experiences is equal to what prepared to put into it---sometimes you get tired of being the one preparing everythingand the other person isnt doing the same--its not going to work----

it take two to make a relationship work---its not up to one to take up all the slack while the other doesnt do anything
 
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ilbdd03

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I went through a spell where I wasn’t going out and finding a man for sex and started watching porn a lot.. it is so simple to find tons of porn of all kinds that eases the curiousity of things .. so over time.. with me it was just a few months and. It got to point that before I started watching so much porn I can pull my dick out about anywhere and jerk off

In bed .. on the couch in the shower.. I got rock hard and took care of it.. but after porn for that long I noticed I was horny and was in shower and did the usual to get things going and jerk off. And watch my cum hit the shower walls .but to my surprise my dick didn’t rise to the occasion

I thought it was just a fluke and don’t think much about it .. until that night I laid in bed picturing things sexually and still no hard on.. so I popped in a porn and within minutes my dick was hard as hell ready to do whatever ..

so I watched that porn.. pinched my nipples fingered my ass and came so hard it shot up past my head and on my face and a big stream went down my chest and stomach to the head of my dick.. I had never came so much at one time but this time it was everywhere …

Days went on and I kept thinking about it taking a porn to get me interested in sex / get hard … that I had to do Something .. so I went without porn for couple weeks and finally my dick worked without needing porn..

how old are you and him and how long been together .. when he get interested in porn? Anything in the porn he watches the get him asking you if want to try it?

I was going to start private conversation with you but I didn’t see the option to
I am 36 years old and he is 51 years old. We have been together for 6 years. He gets turned on by men in tight underwear or wrestling gear. After a few dates, he asked me if I was into wrestling. I said not really. The closest thing was me watching WWE but only because off the hot semi naked men. He has a fetish of dominating smaller guys in their underwear or wrestling singlets. He likes the groping and grinding in wrestling I think. I've never tried wrestling with him because he is tall and huge and I'm afraid of getting hurt. I've caught him before masturbating to naked guys wrestling in oil. He gets really horny watching those videos. I offered my ass to him when I caught him and he just put me on my belly and frotted his dick against my ass with only his spit.
I am willing to try more of his fetishes but I'm a little scared. I'm kinda vanilla when it comes to bdsm
 
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flatiron

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i beg to difer on the comment--what you get out of these experiences is equal to what prepared to put into it---sometimes you get tired of being the one preparing everythingand the other person isnt doing the same--its not going to work----

it take two to make a relationship work---its not up to one to take up all the slack while the other doesnt do anything
I'm sorry, I should've been clearer. When I said "What you get out of these experiences is equal to what you're prepared to put in", I was talking about therapy, not relationships, and was in response to your comment that therapy didn't work so well for you.

This is a bit of a side issue from the one OP raised, so I'm going to stop talking about this now. :)
 

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I'm not gay but yesss your dude has a porn addiction. I get off to woman masturbating also cam girls getting themselves off. It's a visual thing after a while. Your brain gets programmed to either watching other ppl get off ooor woman getting off. It's porn addiction nonetheless. You have to train him to not use his hands to other things besides your pussy or you. It's a thing google it. I'm going through it myself.
 
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I've never thought of it that way. How could I explore this further? I guess my end goal for this relationship would be more intimacy. I wouldn't even mind finishing him off by sucking his nips to get him cumming if I could get what I want.
thats interesting...is it considered a block of some kind? I hope my question is enough on topic to the OP.
 

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I think recently, and multiplied during COVID, porn addiction has become more prevalent. Maybe that is me broadcasting because I often fear for my own personal links. Life is so stressful and porn is such an easy release. Maybe you acknowledge all of that, and say you want to recognize it and then build out from there? It’s not a tear the bandaid off, but positioned more to evolve from there?

sounds like a plan. I am going to try it lol
 
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I've gone back and forth with my current boyfriend for 6 years. He's tall, beefy, handsome and very sweet. I originally was attracted to him because of his masculine dominant personality and big cock. During sex I always had to start him off with a BJ. I prefer kissing and holding. He always has to turn on old vintage gay wrestling videos or some type of naked wrestling while I'm sucking his cock. It was fun at first but after a couple of years it has become task oriented for me. I turn on the videos, suck his cock to get him hard, then get on my belly still he can grind on my ass, then finish him off by sucking and pinching his nipples. It has become a routine where I finish him off sucking his nips and playing with the other nip while he is stroking off like crazy while watching his videos. I've tried different thing to spruce up our sex life but he can't cum without watching the vids while I suck his nips. Rarely do we fuck anymore. I feel like I'm his masturbation toy every night. I've told my BF several times how I want to try more romantic and intimate sex but then he can't cum without his vids and nips. I am feeling insecure that he is not physically attracted to me anymore. Any advice?
needing or relying on videos and a familiar choreography is not necessarily related to not being attracted to you...also, attraction should/often does change in a relationship; ebbing and flowing (ahem) based on whats happening mentally...or some just get off on each other due to the external only.
 

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I've gone back and forth with my current boyfriend for 6 years. He's tall, beefy, handsome and very sweet. I originally was attracted to him because of his masculine dominant personality and big cock. During sex I always had to start him off with a BJ. I prefer kissing and holding. He always has to turn on old vintage gay wrestling videos or some type of naked wrestling while I'm sucking his cock. It was fun at first but after a couple of years it has become task oriented for me. I turn on the videos, suck his cock to get him hard, then get on my belly still he can grind on my ass, then finish him off by sucking and pinching his nipples. It has become a routine where I finish him off sucking his nips and playing with the other nip while he is stroking off like crazy while watching his videos. I've tried different thing to spruce up our sex life but he can't cum without watching the vids while I suck his nips. Rarely do we fuck anymore... Any advice?
Your boyfriend doesn't have a porn addiction. He has his particular tastes in sex and porn and also appreciates you - as a sex partner who knows how to satisfy him. Let him know what you like - such as kissing and holding - and ask him to make a similar effort to sastify your particular desires too.
 
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it has nothing to do with you
he is porno-holic
his minde is programed to that
and he is TOO COMFORTABLE with this
it should be give and take
not a sex service moment ;) think about it and then start opening up about it, if he doesn t start making efforts, hold sex as anyhow you don t enjoy it
 
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Sounds like not only is he transfixed with this kind of gay porn and possibly addicted, but in my opinion, if he loves you, he should be willing to try new things and grow away from the confines of his vids just to get off.
 
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