boyfriend or best friend?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by cracker79, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. cracker79

    cracker79 New Member

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    i have been in a relationship for 3.5 yrs with the same guy.. i was the big top of the relationship never had any completes about it. This summer he tell me that he doesnt like taking it anymore.. so now he want to be the top. i love to top.

    i told my best friend about the the situation one night we were out together one thing lead to another and i ended up fucking my best friend. He loved it and now for the last 2 months we have been fucking each any chance we have..

    my best friend is also in a relationship, i hate cheating and sneaking around. but i'm starting to have more feelings for my friend and i dont know what to do..
     
  2. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    For the record: I am completely AGAINST cheating in every way.

    Now having said that, I have been in the situation where I'v been "the other woman". Shit happens and sometimes your end up in 5 feet of shit befor you even know you steped in it. First thins you need to do is...

    A) STOP cheating! Until you figure out what it is you want.
    B) Figure out what you want!...lol Do you want to disolve your 3.5 year relationship with your boyfriend and presue a new one with your best friend?
    C) Is your best friend on the same page as you are of is he just in it for the excietment? Sit down and have a talk with him about where this is going and how he feels about you
    D) Follow your heart!

    My question to you is.... What are you thinking? Where is your heart pulling you?
     
  3. erratic

    Gold Member

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    What should you do?

    You have every right to happiness, like Xsilver said. You have every right to great sexual chemistry with your partner. It sounds like your boyfriend changed the agreement (unspoken or otherwise) between you two in the midst of your relationship. That sucks for you, clearly, and I'm sorry that happened. If his not bottoming is a dealbreaker for you, you have every right to tell him that and that you want to look for it elsewhere. I'm not saying any of this to demonize or browbeat you or your best friend, but right now you and your best friend are breaking your word to your boyfriends and you deserve the consequences of your actions as much as they deserve to know.

    My advice to you: Man up and tell your boyfriend. Apologize for what you've done and acknowledge to him that your reason (that he won't bottom) is no excuse for the action you took. Then he'll have the information he deserves to make decisions about his own life, and you'll be free to find a path that doesn't involve hating yourself for sneaking and cheating.

    Best of luck.
     
  4. silvertriumph2

    Verified Gold Member

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    Cheating is wrong and it will just cause troubles and hurt in the long run.

    Both of you need to re-assess your separate relationships with your long time bfs.

    If your relationships are not working, and you don't want to attemp to work things out and make compromises...then you should go for a clean break. It is not fair to those you call your bfs, by cheating on them with your clandestine affair.





    on.
     
  5. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    As Erratic powerfully stated....You need to do whats best for you! Have a talk with your best friend and dicuess where you (if you) want it to go. I know what you should do.... but you have to figure that out for yourself.
     
  6. Shawn152

    Shawn152 Member

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    Cheating is never OKAY. No matter the situation. If you felt things were heading to a dead end with your longtime BF after he switched up on you then you should have broken it off with him Immediately or maybe after you cheated the first time. Letting it go on for two months every chance you get is just wrong because you are no longer just cheating, now your having an affair which is a relationship (even though it's only sexual) no matter if you two wanted it or not. My advice to both of you is sit down and tell your partners what's been going on and deal with the consequences. Maybe you and your best friend are meant to be maybe not but definitely don't continue the way things are now because it will only make things worse
     
  7. theirishman

    theirishman New Member

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    I will agree with most other folks, cheating is never proper.

    Upon reading your post, the first thing that came to mind is the sudden about-face by your Partner. Did he offer any explanation? While I'm sure it is not unprecedented, to suddenly become an exclusive top after almost four years of being a bottom sounds fishy. I would have a heart-to-heart with your Partner. I am hesitant to speculate, but it sounds like there may be deeper problems in your relationship than you know, or are letting on in your post.

    Communication is so important in any relationship. You guys need to start talking.

    Best Regards,
    theirishman
     
    #7 theirishman, Oct 17, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2011
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