boyfriend too big

[13788]

beckyinfl: Hi all. I'm new here, and although it seems a lot of posts are from guys, I wanted to add my two cents about size.
I am currently dating a guy that is too big. And I'm not exaggerating. I admit it's too sexy, but it's really really big, even big compared to the posts in this forum. Any suggestions from ladies or guys on what we can do to make it easier? I know I will never be able to take it all, and he has actually looked into getting a reduction, but apparently that's not possible.
I'm becky, 20, florida. I'm also a small build, which doesn't help. But I have had large guys before without much problems, but my current boyfriend is just a bit unique so to speak. Any advice would help.
Thanks!
Becky

 

[13788]

beckyinfl: OK. I'm an idiot. He's a boyfriend, not a bobyfriend. Sorry for the typo.
Becky

 

[13788]

BIGBOYDAVE: Well I gotta ask Since nobody else has HOW BIG IS HE Girl

 

[jonb]

Simplest solution: You should be on top. Woman-on-top positions allow for more control. Another bit of advice is to develop a device that let's just enough that you can handle it in.

 

[13788]

Me_Likey: Just keep at it girlfriend and worship that big boy, sounds like you hit the jackpot! Seriously though, just keep trying. I'd suggest investing in some dildos that work their way up to your boyfriend's size. Use them as often as possible mixed with lots of foreplay and lots of lube. Eventually you'll be able to accomodate him and you'll never regret all the work you did to get there!

 

[benderten2001]

beckyinfl,

It goes without saying; you've come to the right place for some good advice. A number of us here will try to help.

By "big" you really are speaking of two dimensions.....length and girth. I have to assume that while length certainly is implied, it very well could be the girth that is of particular challenge.

With time, the girth can be accomodated with patience and great care on his part initially. Adequate foreplay (to encourage natural lubrication) is a must and probably, in fact, most certainly! -- the use of additional lubrication as well (K-Y, Astro-glide, etc).

Your petite size makes this configuration interesting and admittedly quite challenging--particularly concerning the length factor. If indeed your b.f. is extremely linear, chances are good he will never fully enter with his entire length. Whatsmore, he will (obviously) have to be careful introducing his length gradually, ever so slowly, over a number of sessions and all the while merely seeing how things go. JONB's suggestion about "the device" is a good one and I perceive it to be the "donut" type ring which when worn on the shaft will mark the approximate limit of insertion his size will make possible. Afterwards, he will learn then to "coordinate' thrusting and other movements all confined to bringing you pleasure, yes, but avoiding pain and other discomfort factors. You and he are in for a lot of practice which can be good. Make it (and keep it) fun.

This entire matter though, need not be such a point of great frustration for either of you. If you care about each other, you can work through this and make it an especially meaningful, intimate time to not only know one another but find ways to "adapt" and adjust to each other's ability to fit. You will have to try different positioning of course. And, the suggestion of "practicing" with a dildo device is a good one as well to slowly introduce the size factor you're facing with your b.f.. Both of you need to be patient, take your time, and again, I encourage you to try to keep a light-hearted, "fun" approach to all of this.

So, you see....you have a number of options here.
And other lpsg members will no doubt be speaking up as well. -Best wishes!

 

[13788]

beckyinfl: Thanks for all the advice. I have tried most of the suggestions, but it always helps to discuss new things.
As for the size, I didn't really want it to seem like I came to brag or something. And my boyfriend doesn't brag either.. as I said, he actually wants it smaller. And I honestly wasn't sure if anyone would believe me..lol.
But it is a length and a width issue. I'm not exactly sure how wide he is, but when he's hard, he's about 17 inches long. And no, I'm not exaggerating.
Again, thanks for the advice.
Becky

 

[13788]

BIGBOYDAVE: well if what you say about his size of 17"is true I doubt you will ever take it all but you sure can learn to enjoy as much of it as you can take

 

[13788]

liquidskin: 17 inches? Ive never heard of anything that big... Maybe you should measure him, he may be joking with you.

 

[13788]

aquaman875: becky - A few days ago my wife and I woke up and she looked outside and said, "we got 4 inches of snow last night." I looked outside and saw about an inch. I laughed and asked her what she thought of my 36" penis?

You better measure for yourself.

 

[13788]

sammygirly: ~giggles and nods~ That's so true - but women's skewed views of inch size is taught to us very early by averagely endowed men "No really - THAT's 8 inches!".

Anyway, whether it's 17 inches or 7 inches her issues remain the same, and that shouldn't be forgotten. ;D

 

[13788]

beckyinfl: LOL. I knew you all would respond that way, but as the last responder said, it doesn't matter how big he is, the issues are still the same. And by the way, I have actually measured it myself, and it is 17 inches.
I don't know how many women are on this forum, but I was really looking for more women to respond rather than guys since this is a problem more for women than for men. But any input is still appreciated.
Feel free to e-mail me (teenywaistblonde@aol.com). Thanks.

 

[13788]

liquidskin: Actually 17 eh? He could probably make a shitload of money with that thing.

 

[13788]

wvu_kerq: Good land of the livin' girl! 17" is beyond huge... i cannot even fathom that! All i can really suggesty is try streaching a lot!

 

[13788]

BIGBOYDAVE: [quote author=beckyinfl link=board=sex;num=1044907676;start=0#11 date=02/13/03 at 11:17:54]LOL. I knew you all would respond that way, but as the last responder said, it doesn't matter how big he is, the issues are still the same. And by the way, I have actually measured it myself, and it is 17 inches.
I don't know how many women are on this forum, but I was really looking for more women to respond rather than guys since this is a problem more for women than for men. But any input is still appreciated.
Feel free to e-mail me (teenywaistblonde@aol.com). Thanks. [/quote]
Hi Check out what I wrote in another section in answer to a similar problem re male problems in reciving a large one
Mind U I'm not 17 " but no matter Some of what I suggested might work just change things around I'm sure you can see what I mean here about changing things around position caressing and breathing should still apply. Take only what you can get in chances are you wouldn't be able to take it all. My responce is under Gay Male Needs Advice On Taking In A Large Penis

 

[benderten2001]

becky,

Although you received the "predicted" reaction from your candid disclosure of the facts, many of us do not question either your sincerity or the magnitude of the challenges you and your bf face.

Like you, I believe additional responses are needed from the ladies here. In fact, if ever there was a need for the female perspective of things....it is on this particular thread especially. How about it ladies?

becky....again, all the best.

 

[13788]

Jimbo: Becky:

Truth is, you just are NOT likely to find any woman who has experience with someone your boyfriend's size, even in this support group. My guess is that unlike you, most women would flat out reject the challenge. Your boyfriend is lucky to have you to at least try.

The advice that has been given so far (ignoring the wisecrackers and doubters) is pretty much all you can do, short of having your cervix/vagina sugically dialated like one poster with a 16 inch penis claims his partner did for him. I doubt that this is a realisitic alternative, especially if you intend on having children some day.

The only advice I can add is to try positions that allow YOU to maintain control and/or reduce some his effective length by putting more of your bodies in between the genital contact. He is long enough for you to experiment with positions to effect this. Here is a link to a website that may give you some ideas:

http://users.forthnet.gr/ath/nektar/kma/main.htm

Also what is his erect girth? You may be able to allow him into your vagina semi-hard, then use his penis to help you expand as he becomes erect. He should not thrust during this, you can masturbate him to encourage his erection. Then just hold it there for a few moments. If it starts to hurt too much, have him slowly withdraw and then try again. Doing this a few times, going a little deeper each time after awhile should get you to loosen up to the point of you being able to take him in to the length limits of your vagina with the girth being no problem. This is more fun then a cold dildo

You may also try having HIM get on this site and try communicating with the few other super hung guys that are members. The response may be more forthcoming between guys.

 

[13788]

beckyinfl: Again, thanks for the advice. We have tried a lot of the things you suggest, but it's just something we'll have to get more used to.
I'm not sure his girth, but he's very big in that respect too, which also makes it awkward.
There of course is no rule that says I have to take a huge amount, but I know he wants me to, and I would like to be able to as well.
As I said in my original post, I have dated big guys before and always been able to take all of them, so I think I can slowly adapt, but it will take a while.
Thanks again guys.

 

[13788]

AnonyMs: [quote author=Jimbo link=board=sex;num=1044907676;start=15#16 date=02/14/03 at 00:25:12]Truth is, you just are NOT likely to find any woman who has experience with someone your boyfriend's size, even in this support group. [/quote]No poop, Sherlock! Have no clue on how to advise you, Becky... the dimension you state boggles this mind. While you have not given us girth stats, 17 inches is assuredly longer than the birth canal for most women. Don't know if you guys are into anal, but that might be one way for you to accept all of the length over time.

 

[13788]

aussiechick63: I really don't know how to advise you either Becky, I have never had the problem myself. There is no way you will be able to take all his length, so you have to find other ways to pleasure each other. Intercourse is only a very small part of the whole sexual experience.

When you do decide to try sex make sure you are in control and not your boyfriend. You need to be able to control his depth etc to suit you. Anal sex is certainly an option worth trying.
Hope you find something to help you both enjoy sex.