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jfrsndvs

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maybe you should consult a professional, and ask how to approach something like this, as for mentioning anything to your older boy about that, I think is wrong, believe it or not, older brothers can and will use that against him, and could do what he can to humilate his younger brother, what you saw, yes needs some attention by a parent, there is no question about that, but it needs to be done privately, and information needs to be kept private between you and that particular son, that is something the older son doesn't need to know about, just as whatever you catch your older son doing should not be disgussed with your younger son.

I agree with you about him being too young for a active sex life, and I certainly understand that he is still your baby, no matter how old your boys are, they will always be your babies, and that you love to no end.

but talk to a professional and see some advice on how to approach the situation, it does need tending to.

Good Luck.



Thank you all guys and girls from ur help.
If i got this right are you assuming that my son is gay?? He is 11 years old, he doesnt even cum yet!!!He only has dry orasms(as far as i know)
He doesnt know i saw him and his friend, i waiting untill they were finished and got dreesed and then i walked in preteding nothing happened and they both seemed very relaxed when they saw me.
I was ok the first time i caught them but they were only jerking off eath other cock, but my son getting sucked goes way to much!! If i dont say anything the next thing i know they will be fucking and i dont want my son to have sex in such an early time he is still a baby!!!
i talked about it with my other son and he laught saying the boy turned "fag"
Ofcourse i will still love him if he is gay or bisexual but i believe its too early to have a sex life.
We had the "sex" and "masturbation" talk like father and son a year ago and he was happy i opened my self to him, but i can t have a talk with him about gay sex!!
 

Hunkguy39

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Ok so lets say i talk with my son about it and tell him that i know he is sexually active and talk to him about being safe and all about sucking and anal sex, Is there a chance he might think that i think he is gay?? wouldnt that scare him more???
 

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Well not if you use your words and say to him that you don't care if he's gay, bi, straight....that it's 2006 and it just doesn't matter :) But, that if he's going to be sexually active he has to be responsible about it, take precautions, be safe. What else can you say, other than that? Sorry for saying this but is there any chance that YOU are 'afraid' he's gay/bi? If so, then my advice is to TRY to deal with those fears first....you'll portray them to your son, non-verbally, and that might do more harm than good. While you're at it, apologize to your 11 year old for blabbing about this to your older son. Sorry - but that was a major mistake that hopefully your younger kid'll forgive. Lastly, find a website you really believe in that offers safe sex information and give him access to the computer as he needs it to learn.


Ok so lets say i talk with my son about it and tell him that i know he is sexually active and talk to him about being safe and all about sucking and anal sex, Is there a chance he might think that i think he is gay?? wouldnt that scare him more???
 

fortiesfun

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I agree with Dudepiston here, but I see nothing wrong with saying that you think he is too young to be sexual active. I think it is fair to say that you think he is not ready for the responsibility, and he needs to slow waaayyyyyyy down. In that sense, doesn't matter what his orientation is. He has plenty of time to figure that out. (I almost said in my first post that I have my money that the other kid is gay for certain, but it seems much iffier about your son, but since I also think it shouldn't make any difference in our day and age, I left that out. Maybe I should have stuck with that strategy.)
 

dreamer20

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I was ok the first time i caught them but they were only jerking off each others cocks, but my son getting sucked goes way to much!! If i dont say anything the next thing i know they will be fucking and i dont want my son to have sex in such an early time he is still a baby!!!

i talked about it with my other son and he laughed saying the boy turned "fag"
...i believe its too early to have a sex life.

We had the "sex" and "masturbation" talk like father and son a year ago and he was happy i opened my self to him, but i can t have a talk with him about gay sex!!

Is there a chance he might think that i think he is gay?? wouldnt that scare him more???

Don't discuss this any further with his older brother. Yes you thought you could pass your difficult task on to someone closer in age to your son but that was not the right thing to do as the elder son is not mature enough to advise him. You must express your concerns with your son. You have seen mutual jerking off, sucking and now you fear that they may move on to fucking. Tell him what you have seen. You have already had the "sex" talk. You should be able to ask him if he is gay or bi. Tell him that you do not condone him fucking at such an early age. He should wait until he reaches the age of consent and hopefully practice safe sex then.
 

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Hunkguy: I would like to add my 2 cents, I would let your son know that you have observed him on two occaisons playing and experimenting with his friend. I would let him know that you did the same thing when you were his age. You should then caution him that though he is experimenting with this boy that he should channel his energy towards other activites such as sports and video games or outings. Even is he does it again with him it will let him know that you know that you are aware. So this hopefully will assure him that he needs to move on. Now is this day and time youth may open up to parents about their sexual deeds in which case he may open up to you or just say that we were just playing around. Now if you notice any other activity then you may need to have a very frank talk with him about your concernes, then see where his head is at. If he should say well dad you did it you can tell him that I was comparing and leave it at that. Hopefully this is just a phase like what we all went through we just never got caught ( so we may think) . Let the older one know that you have not said anything to the 11 year old and that you would like to handle this one by your self. If he gets vocal about it you can ask him well did you experiment when you were younger?
 

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Well guys, i came back from work today and me and my youngest son had a little conversation.I said to him that i only saw them once (the jerking part ) with his friend and he kind of smiled in a shy way if you know what i mean, so i told him that it was okay and dont be shy about it, i also told him that all boys have similar expierences with friends and that even i had a friend when i was at his age(ok a little bit older), he kept on smilling and got a little bit red on the face, so i laught and said "Giannis must went crazy when he saw ur dick right?" (cause my boy is 11 and has a 15cm penis) and he said :yeah Giannis said that he has never seen a biger one" (so i guess the boy has seen other dicks too), i smilled again and i said "so what else have you being doing son? only jerking?" and he said like its the most usual think that Giannis sucked his cock, i said Wow!! really? how did he come up with that? and he told me that Giannis told my son that a girl from their school sucked his cock and it felt much better that jerking off and that if my son wanted he could suck him and if he liked it Giannis would tell that girl to suck my sons cock too.(can you believe the story a boy make up to get a dick in his mouth?)
So i said so son did u ? did you like it and he said it was ok Giannis went down to his knees and tryed to pull the foreskin back and my boy said hey what r u doing ? and the other boy said that if he didnt pull the skin back it would be like sucking on his finger and that he wouldnt like it.so my boy sai d ok and he pulled the forskin back and that it hurt him a little because Giannis was sucking very hard.At the end he told me that Giannis was a layier and that Sofia(the girl from school)never sucked his cock.
I told him not to worry and to stick to what he knows and likes and when the time comes he will do much more and that im always here if he has any questions about his penis or about sex, he said "ok mpampa" and then said " why does Giannis cums and i m not" (i was almost there to tell him that Giannis is a slut but i didnt)i said that he wasnt ready yet and that soon he would have sperm too and when he does and has any problem to come and tell me.
So did i do the right thing? was there something else i had to say?
 

B_RoysToy

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Try to look beyond culture and see that it may be just two innocents doing what feels good.

Beyond that, I don't know how to handle it. If it's a phase, it's a phase. If not, not. Time will eventually make that clear.

Kids sure grow up quick don't they?

They certainly do -- just seems like no time at all, since Monica was crawling around on the White House floor!
 

OKFarmer

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I agree with parts of what others have posted. However you have to ask yourself this: If I caught my son having his penis stroked/sucked by a girl his age, what would I do?

I hit puberty at 9 and yes that is in 4th grade. I overheard my mother giving my brothers "the talk" when I was 6 and never received it myself.
I wish I had because it probably would have left me more comfortable talking with my parents about problems I encountered in life.

If the interaction is consentual, there is still the problem of are either of them emotionally old enough to handle it. Please do not take this to mean I think anything is being forced. The one receiving oral or digital stimulation in a forced encounter is not always the one in the aggresive role.
 

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...he told me that Giannis told my son that a girl from their school sucked his cock and it felt much better that jerking off and that if my son wanted he could suck him and if he liked it Giannis would tell that girl to suck my son's cock too.(can you believe the story a boy make up to get a dick in his mouth?)

I'm glad that you were able to hear the truth from your son and discuss this matter with him. As for what else you could say the previous posters have given you many suggestions. Warn your son that he is not to let Giannis manipulate him into sex. He is too young for that.
 

Hunkguy39

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The fact thay my son told me all about it without feeling ashamed or embarassed means that he doesnt think of it as a "sin" or as an "adult situation" so i guess it was just a game for him.
Now if the other person was a girl i d be as scared as i was now.The last thing i d wanna is to her the father of the girl telling me what my son has done to his daugher and ofcourse he is too young to have hetorosexual sex as he is to have homosexual sex.
When i started talking with him about it i didnt know how i would fell about the thinks that i would hear, but i guess i took it very easy.
I had and i still have sex with guys so the last think that i would say to him was that what he was doing was wrong.
My only problem is that my boy is very young and i dont want him to lose his innocense so young whether it is with another boy or girl.
 

brandonguy35

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I think you handled it in just the right way. You have established open communication between you and your son. I think that he will be more willing to talk to you about any questions or concerns he may have in the future without being embarrased. You sound like a great dad! Your sons are very lucky. Keep up the good work, and keep the opportunity for dialogue open.
 

Rikter8

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Thank you all guys and girls from ur help.
If i got this right are you assuming that my son is gay?? He is 11 years old, he doesnt even cum yet!!!He only has dry orasms(as far as i know)
He doesnt know i saw him and his friend, i waiting untill they were finished and got dreesed and then i walked in preteding nothing happened and they both seemed very relaxed when they saw me.
I was ok the first time i caught them but they were only jerking off eath other cock, but my son getting sucked goes way to much!! If i dont say anything the next thing i know they will be fucking and i dont want my son to have sex in such an early time he is still a baby!!!
i talked about it with my other son and he laught saying the boy turned "fag"
Ofcourse i will still love him if he is gay or bisexual but i believe its too early to have a sex life.
We had the "sex" and "masturbation" talk like father and son a year ago and he was happy i opened my self to him, but i can t have a talk with him about gay sex!!

Sounds to me that there's a bit of homophobe in the family.

The Terms "Fag" used by his brother will surely be drilled into him when your eyes are not around...

I STRONGLY suggest that you curb your other Boy's Homophobism, and you shield your own until your boys get older.
My Cure? - Slap the other boy upside the head next time that word comes out of his mouth. Follow through with - "Thats your brother your talking about"

Your right, He is very young, but remember that it's normal to experiment.
I do agree that oral sex at 11 is a bit out of line, and I would sit him down and remind him of your talk about the birds and the bees.

Another thing you can do as a parent - stick around more to limit the opportunity to play... Walk in and out every once in a while, or make your presence nearby.

The worst thing you can do is send him into repression with hatred from his own family members.
 

jeff black

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Sounds to me that there's a bit of homophobe in the family.

I STRONGLY suggest that you curb your other Boy's Homophobism, and you shield your own until your boys get older.
My Cure? - Slap the other boy upside the head next time that word comes out of his mouth. Follow through with - "Thats your brother your talking about"
First, Rikter, you have to be careful about this situation. I dont' think that "slapping the older boy upside the head" is the best idea. If dad is concerned, he should have a sitdown talk with both children. They both need to understand how the world works. He should explain to them that
"Sometimes men like women, and sometimes men like men/women like women. "
The older son is going to "mock" the younger one because that is the way the world works right now. Should the older child say "fag", dad should take him aside and reinforce that words like that are inappropriate and rude to others.

Your right, He is very young, but remember that it's normal to experiment.
I do agree that oral sex at 11 is a bit out of line, and I would sit him down and remind him of your talk about the birds and the bees.

Another thing you can do as a parent - stick around more to limit the opportunity to play... Walk in and out every once in a while, or make your presence nearby.

The worst thing you can do is send him into repression with hatred from his own family members.
This is good advice, talk with your kids. Explain life. Explain that even though something feels good, it may not be the best idea right now. I hate to say "wait until you are older" but I think this case is a good time to use it. You could always explain that "sex" comes with alot of emotions.
 

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I think you've handled the situation just right. I've had some VERY frank talks with my (very nearly 13 year old) daughter and her boyfriend who is 15.5 about what they may and may not do. What is appropriate contact and what is not bearing in mind their ages. I guess in some ways the thing for me is that aside from the legal side of it, I really don't want her getting pregnant. Not really a problem for you!

In terms of resources online, The Ultimate Male Masturbation Resource is probably one of the best I can think of right now.

I've also taught my daughter that it's fine to say no. Anyone trying emotional blackmail like "If you loved me you would..." etc isn't worth it and she should tell them where to go.
 

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I think you've handled the situation just right. I've had some VERY frank talks with my (very nearly 13 year old) daughter and her boyfriend who is 15.5 about what they may and may not do. What is appropriate contact and what is not bearing in mind their ages. I guess in some ways the thing for me is that aside from the legal side of it, I really don't want her getting pregnant. Not really a problem for you!

In terms of resources online, The Ultimate Male Masturbation Resource is probably one of the best I can think of right now.

I've also taught my daughter that it's fine to say no. Anyone trying emotional blackmail like "If you loved me you would..." etc isn't worth it and she should tell them where to go.

Dont u think ur 12 y/o daughter is too young to be dating a a 15 y/o guy? Sounds like trouble from the start
 

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Dont u think ur 12 y/o daughter is too young to be dating a a 15 y/o guy? Sounds like trouble from the start
Believe me, I have a very firm grip on the situation. He's not allowed in unless either me or the ex are at home. (Ex works in a school and I work shifts so there's very few times when one of us isn't about.) He's a very nice lad and respects me. I have a way with words and looks at times. I found them in her room with the light off (not on the bed, it's a high cabin-style bed) the other day when I got in. I said to my daughter "Come on, you know that's not appropriate!" She apologised immediately.

The fact that I work in law enforcement also seems to go some distance.

However, let's not get this off-topic.
 

carlton10

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guess ur occupation is a deterrent to him lol Well kids grow up a lot faster nowadays and ls good to have "the" talk . Gues some parents still are embarrassed to have the talk and rely on health courses in school
 

Hunkguy39

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Yes kids grow up a lot faster nowdays and i m trying to catch up,when i was his age all i thought about was to out and play and i mean play not "play" as jack off and go practise on my football team, now kids are intersted more in surfing the net jerk off play video games and fuck
We recently had a situation in Greece were 4 boys 13-14-14-12 were arrested because they raped a girl 13 years old and not only they raped her but they had it videotaped in their cell phones to show off in their friends.So imagine that happening to one of ur kids