I'm having a hard time placing myself as "average" in same way I have a hard time imagining what an "average" woman looks like. I mean you can show me a hundred photographs of women and ask me to pick out a "average" looking girl out of it I just won't. I can't. I don't know what they look like...So which ones of those women are "average" and in the case of men where do I as an "average looking bloke" fit into the continuum?
Wow! In this area you think in a completely different way than I do!
If you were to show me a hundred photographs of men, for the vast majority of them I would say "Average. Next!" This is truly how I view most men I see. If there is not anything outstandingly impressive, or outstandingly unattractive, then my brain just classifies them as "average." Forget asking me to rate people on a scale of 1 to 10 -- I don't have that many settings. I have "attractive," "unattractive," and "average." And as I said, most people fall into the "average" category. If I had to guess, I would say that approximately 15 percent are noticeably attractive to me, and about 15 percent are noticeably ugly. I don't know if that helps you in the slightest but it is really the way I think. I don't know if other women are like this or not.
Your stats show that 1 in 10 have a 5.5" girth. So I can safely assume anyone women with more than ten partners has had at least one guy with 5.5" girth.
At that point the difference would be noticeable right? I mean there's no hoping she won't notice the difference there at all is there? All I can do is cross my fingers and hope against hope they won't care about the noticeable difference, right?
No, there probably isn't any chance she won't notice the difference.
Yes, you should hope she doesn't
care about the difference. But this is not a "hope against hope" by any means! I truly believe that the odds of her
not caring are greater than the odds of her caring. In other words, if the woman already digs you enough to be having sex with you, the odds are on your side.
But at some level you had to have enjoyed the sex a bitter with the guys that were better looking than me that the ones that were worse looking than me? At least at anticipatory stage, right?
A resounding no!
The one sexual experience I ever had that I really regret was with a very "attractive" guy. However, he was someone I didn't particularly like and didn't even really know. I had sex with him to try to please somebody
else (long story). I was not turned on in the slightest, and I think he could tell. It was a lousy experience for all concerned and if I had it to do over again I definitely wouldn't.
On the other hand, I have been blazing hot and horny for a few guys I
would categorize as "physically unattractive."
The key to sexual arousal, for me, really does not lie in the looks! Some of the hottest sex I ever had was with a guy who, TBH, really looked like a goober! That said, he had worked very hard on his body and had a
really impressive physique. He was interesting to talk to, funny, and nice -- out of my group of friends, when I drank too much at the bar he was the one who would stay and sit with me until I sobered up enough to drive home.
One evening several of us had planned to go to his apartment to watch a movie, but everyone except me cancelled. When he asked me if I still wanted to come over, I said yes. We watched a comedy. The entire time during the movie, I was sitting near him on the couch and could just catch the barest whiff of his scent. The thought of having sex with him drove me wild. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom so I could wipe up the wetness between my thighs.
After the movie was over, I finally got up the nerve to come on to him. He was astonished at how wet I was, and that it was for him. But that was the truth of the matter.
It turns out he was very aggressive in bed (which I loved), very creative, and had a lot of stamina plus a quick recovery time. Jackpot! I had sex with him a number of times before he moved away.
But the point is my excitement has a lot more to do with my feelings
for the man himself than with how the man looks.
I mean how down below my level must you go before you get to the guys who are too damned ugly for you to fuck regardless of how awesome they are?
I have not yet been in that situation. I will be truthful and say there are some guys I probably would not fuck no matter what, based on looks alone. No offense to anyone, but obesity is a huge turn-off for me, as are a few other things that men can fix if they want to, such as comb-overs, greasy hair, and poor hygiene/grooming. I have trouble looking past those things.
I have, however, looked past acne scars, shortness (I actually prefer men who are as tall or taller than me), and unfortunate facial features.
The number one biggest turn off in the world, for me, is actually bad manners. Whenever I see a man treating others poorly, no matter how "attractive" he is physically, he becomes repulsive to me sexually.
And I think I'm far from alone amongst women in the way I think about all of these things.
I will admit being emotionally crushed does make one a bit more......responsive to one's ego and bear in mind I only started this thread with the idea of trying to not let myself get into the really dark place I once was...It's when I have a girl who's special....where we seem to be perfect for each other and she recognizes it and intimates it should be taken to the next level and then this issue comes up? I just want to know if there's anyway I could do things differently next time. Because I definitely don't want have to go back into an institution again working issues things out on the kaleidoscope of pills they put you on while you are suicide watch.
I think one thing you need to understand is that what happened before was not because of anything you did. It was because of
her.
I don't know that you really need to "do" anything differently -- when it comes down to it the woman is either going to be an uber-bitchy size queen or a normal person. The odds are strongly in favor of her being a normal person. Since the original problem was not your fault,
you don't need to change anything "next time."
The thing I
would work on if I were you is getting your confidence back, accepting yourself and believing in yourself. Believe you are worth being with, and when the right woman comes along, she will believe it too.