Bromance or prelude to a kiss?

[Klaus Higgins]

I have a buddy that I hang out a lot with. We play sports, then afterwards have dinner or lunch depending on the time of day. When we go to our cars, we talk a bit, and during that time, he touches himself, rubs his chest under his shirt, touches his dick through his workout shorts (commando) etc. On occasion, he has brushed stuff out of my short beard, a small leaf, a crumb, whatever. We always hug when we part, but I don't make a move since he is going through a divorce and am unsure. I guess I can't really tell if he wants to go further, and I am very cautious should I be wrong.

Also, he hikes in Griffith Park, (Los Angeles) which is notorious for outdoor anonymous sex, but I don't even want to broach that subject with him. I have also seen him check out other handsome, fit guys.

I tend to be affectionate with him, but he is a very passive person, so he does not exactly reciprocate.

He knows I am bi.

What should I do? Make a move? He shows a huge cut head through his shorts often, and it has taken incredible restraint for me not to kneel down, pull his shorts down and go to town on him. Any thoughts?

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

You don't describe any clues that he might feel the same about you, all you do is connect random details about him in the hopes that he might be in to you.

First off, going from knowns, he does identify as straight right? Being married and all. Has he ever intimated that he might be bi-curious to you? Do you think you could talk to him in a general way about sexuality and find out?

I mean before you go lobbing the gob on him you probably want to go on something more than the fact that he touches himself (who doesn't?) and coincidentally takes walks in a park where some people also happen to shag sometimes.

Do you know if he's ever been with a guy? Or is he straight as straight can be?

Because if he is straight then launching in to a conversation about how you find him sexy and want to jump his bones will, unless he's really cool and liberated, fuck your friendship up.

It sounds to me as though because you are attracted to him you're looking for every possible tiny chance detail to put together a narrative in which this guy might secretly be in to you.

Hugging you does not mean he wants to get nasty with you. Like I said , maybe broach the subject of sexuality some time, but only in the broadest of terms and try to find out if he's ever even imagined being attracted to men, if he hasn't then leave well alone and find another hot guy who actually does like cock and is attracted to you to take all your pent up fucky-fucky on.


Edit: One thing occurs to me, you say you don't even want to broach the subject of why he chooses to hike in a park infamous for public sex , and then you ask if you should just randomly make a move on him. Do you see the disconnect?

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Wait until after the divorce. His ex maybe use infidelity to get a bigger share of their mutual property.

 

[B_Craiggers]

You don't describe any clues that he might feel the same about you, all you do is connect random details about him in the hopes that he might be in to you.

I wouldn't brush something out of any guy's beard...

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

You don't describe any clues that he might feel the same about you, all you do is connect random details about him in the hopes that he might be in to you.

I wouldn't brush something out of any guy's beard...

From that you deduce he wants to fuck? Random.

 

[maxcok]

You don't describe any clues that he might feel the same about you, all you do is connect random details about him in the hopes that he might be in to you.

I wouldn't brush something out of any guy's beard...

Then again, that's you, other men are different.

I've known plenty of straight men who were physical with me, even affectionately so.

Doesn't mean they want to fuck.

To the OP: My advice, even if the guy is approachable, I would wait till he's well clear of the divorce confusion before considering anything that would surely put your friendship to the test, and might turn out badly.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

These things are generally not as big of a mystery as they appear to be. But I have been there and done that. Worried about messing up a good thing, probably with cause.

In a better world sublimation would not be mandatory. You could just ask your dude if you could look at his dick and hold his balls and it would be a part of getting to know each other.

 

[606988]

I really only joined the board to ask my own selfish questions and not to answer any one elses but alas... here I am... answering someone elses question... I am a straight guy and I have a lot of gay friends... (well more than my straight friends seem to have). At school in particular there was a huge deal I went through where every one said I was gay. I was on the basketball team and had a lot of meat head friends and interactions with meat head guys. A friend of a girl that I was talking to who happened to be in a lot of my classes was gay. He was EXTREMELY flamboyant and commanded the attention of a lot of people when ever he entered the room.

Me and him became very close because we were always around each other. The reason every one called me gay is because not only did we hang out a lot but if he came to greet me I was with girls a lot and so was he so naturally we hug the girls we see when we would meet up. When it got to me and him he would reach to hug me rather than give me "dap" and hand shake or pound. So rather than scurry away from this situation I went with what felt natural and that was to hug him back. When my meat head friends hugged me I hugged back so why wouldnt I hug my gay friends just because of what people would think?

The only time it got weird was when we were studying me him and a group of girls. Every one else in the room was focused on someones story and we were having a side convo in very close proximity on the bed. He touched me knee very affectionately and looked at me in my eyes. The only reason that I realized I felt uneasy was that just like a girl who may be interested in me that I was not interested in, I did not want him to get the wrong idea. I am very comfortable letting people into my personal space but I just did not have those feelings for him. I am not gay and have never had sexual feelings towards a man but me and him were such good friends I did not see a guy, I saw a person who seemed genuinely interested in me that I was not generally interested in back. He kind of got the message that I wasnt interested in him and that I really did like the girl that I was with who was our mutual friend. He also saw that I was taking alot of junk from people for being so open with him. So we had a very strong mutual respect for each other after he realized that I was really just a good friend and I realized that people are just people.

I guess the point of my story is that maybe this guy just feels comfortable around you, like I did my friend.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

That's a good story cococolaman. Thanks for giving it. Welcome to LPSG.

 

[unzipped]

I'd say just keep it platonic and have a good friend. Just whack off in private at home.. imagining the big thick cut head pressing thru the snug fabric.... pre cum ozzing out ... then if some day HE makes a move on you... then go for it... but if you initiate it, you risk him feeling you used the friendship just to fuck him...

 

[SR_borntolook3]

Enjoy the friendship, and put the other thoughts to rest. A true friend is more valuable than a fuckbuddy any day.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

You can love and care about someone without getting romantic with them. It almost seems like you both need to express your feelings about each other more.