Bromance - What the? Is it just gay romance?

[B_henry miller]

A friend said to me, "Why do they need labels like that? You used to just have friends."

I think that gay visibility, while a good thing, has made men more needing to label their relationships. Back when gays were invisible, the idea that anyone would be openly gay was unthinkable; and so the fear that others may perceive your close friendship with your friend as "gay" was unthinkable. Today, it's not unthinkable to be gay. I think this makes some people needing to label their relationships with labels like "bromance."

Frankly, a "bromance" to me just sounds like a gay relationship but without the sex. It sounds like an emotional affair.

 

[craf]

think about a roommate/best friend/drinking buddy who you spend time with in a completely non-sexual manner. there really isn't anything more to it than that.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

A friend said to me, "Why do they need labels like that? You used to just have friends."

I think that gay visibility, while a good thing, has made men more needing to label their relationships. Back when gays were invisible, the idea that anyone would be openly gay was unthinkable; and so the fear that others may perceive your close friendship with your friend as "gay" was unthinkable. Today, it's not unthinkable to be gay. I think this makes some people needing to label their relationships with labels like "bromance."

Frankly, a "bromance" to me just sounds like a gay relationship but without the sex. It sounds like an emotional affair.

I think you've said it really well except most straight-identified guys might feel uncomfortable with the words "emotional affair", although I don't at all. I think guys do love each other but they have a need to differentiate between sexual love and non-sexual love. I happen to believe that the quality of the love is no different but just the expression. Why I say this is that I've experienced straight guys coming on to me in a "sexual" way when they're drunk. They've lost their inhibitions and so the normal physical distance breaks down. I also think that most guys feel that sexual expression is what love really is even though they usually reserve that behavior to their female or male partners. When emotions and desire become overpowering then the whole paradigm of straight/gay goes out the window.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

The word bromance should be banned, it sounds so freaking dumb.

The word "bro" is a read flag for me. It is all together idiotic as well. "Bro" does nothing for masculinity or elevating hetero, str8 acting status.

Just be yourself. Not everyone is going to view you as less than a man because you share a closeness with another guy.

 

[deleted424046]

Think seth and evan in superbad.

 

[Autofellatio]

Personally, I define bromance as a friendship with another guy that runs deeper than mere casual acquaintance, but yet will not come close to the same intimate level as a dating relationship.

Sexualities are irrelevant to me - it's the trust and closeness that matter in my book.

 

[the_reverend]

i thank God for the few bromances in my life...i've always had an easier time becoming really close, best friends with females than with males. problem being that that kind of emotional closeness to someone i'm also attracted to tends to lead to me falling for them. so it's nice to have those super close emotional relationships with someone i don't want to date and/or sleep with.

 

[AZZAWA]

I have bromances with my gay buddies. I don't think you need to be staright to be in a bromance

 

[B_jeepguy2]

I had a bromance with one of my male coworkers a number of years ago. We used to go out to eat lunch together nearly every day. I am mostly gay but totally in the closet so he did not know. He as far as I know is 100% straight but he also has a homophobic streak about a mile wide so I wonder how secure he is in his sexuality.

I never worried about what people thought of us, hanging out together all the time but he always seemed very worried that people suspected us of being gay. I remember one night we were having dinner and he asked the waitress about one of the dishes on the menu and said "I think my girlfriend would really like that entree, I will have to bring her here sometime." I realized what he was doing, he didn't give a damn about the dish on the menu he just wanted to make DAMN SURE the waitress knew he had a gf so she wouldn't think we were a gay couple.

The worst time was when we were in San Francisco on business and went to eat at a really nice restraunt at Fisherman's wharf. While we were sitting there eating he said " dude you know everyone in here probably thinks we are a gay couple" I said "I don't know any of them so I don't care WTF they think." He said "well you have got a point." I knew he had a fraternity brother who had come out of the closet since college and moved to San Fran. I knew he and this guy had been good friends in college so I said why don't you look up your frat bro and tell him you are in town for a week get him to show us around San Fran. He said "NO WAY!, I don't want to talk to that fucking faggot."

I almost came out to him right there. I started to say "Look dude, you share an office with a faggot, you eat lunch with a faggot nearly every day, you sat next to a faggot on the plane on the way out here, you have shared a hotel room with a faggot on several business trips, you shared a double bed with a faggot on our last trip to your parent's beachhouse, and you are having dinner with a faggot right now. I really wonder what he would have done if I had said it.

Soon after that trip I took another job at another company across town and he got married so other than having lunch or dinner occasionally we don't see each other that much anymore.

 

[jerryhall]

I wish someone would comment on whatever it is that gay guys feel for straight friends that they want romance with. I have had a friend like this for years, and I wish we could just strip off all our clothes, take a shower together and then get in bed and fuck all night long. He is so straight I don't think he even has a clue...

 

[rob_]

I wish someone would comment on whatever it is that gay guys feel for straight friends that they want romance with. I have had a friend like this for years, and I wish we could just strip off all our clothes, take a shower together and then get in bed and fuck all night long. He is so straight I don't think he even has a clue...

That's called unrequited love.
Pick up, and move on.

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

me and my male housemate joke that if we were gay we might make an awesome couple (although we concede that we might like different types of guys if we were gay, seeing as im the bear and hes the twink....) lots of our friends joke that we are married too, considering we cook together and do alot of household things as a couple, i.e go to the laundrette. we play on the joke too for example he was taking the piss out of me infront of people and i looked at him and drank some beer and he grabbed the arm of a girl and went "oh god! look at him! he is going to beat me when you go!" and when we have jokey arguments we joke "not infront of friends...." or "so sorry we brought this into your home".

I see no reason why it could happen between a gay guy and a straght guy or even two gay guys. so long as both know that neither wants anything sexual, its safe as.