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I wonder what OP omitted in "to make a long story short," and I'm a little surprised to find that OP learned of the three-way from his gf. I think ShannonH was essentially correct -- the relationship with the girl is doomed (can there be any possible excuse?), the relationship with the buddy need not continue, and the relationship with the brother has to continue, though, perhaps distantly, until the brother can ask forgiveness for a monumental act of disrespect, and OP can and wants to respond out of family unity.