Bucking the sisterhood

[ItsAll4Kim]

Yes, I'm the lady whom many of you have been bashing because of my "Different" post and I want to say one thing here: HOW DARE you suggest I know nothing of a sisterhood? You know nothing, Jane Snow. I have become involved in a sisterhood that i pray none of you ever experience but yet is one that both breaks and uplifts my heart in a way I hope you will never know. You see, my beautiful son, a grown man in his 40's, is dying of ALS, Lou Gerhig's disease. All mother's are bound to a sisterhood of their love of their children and the ultimate fear of losing a child. The outpouring I have received from friends long forgotten, relatives from distant places, colleagues from jobs ages ago, friends of my son and daughter, even strangers who stop and help me when I struggle with my son's wheelchair. I can see their hearts in their eyes and their amazing strength in their embraces of me and my son.

Of course men have been important in helping my son and I but their help is different: they offer humor to help us forget; they build ramps and reshape bathrooms to make my son's life a bit better; they share his interests in sports - and the ladies; they have the strength to carry him where his wheelchair won't go. But the ladies know better how to respond to the pain my daughter-in-law, my daughter, and I are trying to live with, that sometimes the only helpful thing is a good cry and an understanding shoulder to have it on.

I will plead guilty to having used sex blogging to push my professional status, but it has become more than that: it is a way for me to forget what is happening in my personal life and to find some pleasure in quiet times. I am also guilty of trying to bring a fraction of my followers from Tumblr to a different experience with me; but I have written openly on Tumblr about my son's condition and have many followers express seemingly heartfelt condolences and I want them to know where our life is going. Lastly I will apologize for being a bit judgmental about some of you being too judgmental: I didn't like what seemed to me a constant "guilty until proven innocent" attitude toward anyone new or challenging to your LPSG universe. Perhaps I overreacted.

And, perhaps, you did, too.

Marti

Wow. So, you have problems too?

What a steaming pile of manipulative dung you threw over fence into this yard.

You are the one to be ashamed. You could have simply stated that you, as do others, have problems and are helped by others of your own sisterhood. Instead, you chose to use your own son's medical problems as emotional leverage for a disagreement in an anonymous internet forum. What the everliving fuck?

And yes, you should apologize for basically waltzing into a new-to-you forum like The Queen Bitch and then advertising your wares for sale as if you're selling an old lawnmower in Facebook Marketplace. I needed to shower after reading it.

I've spent a lot of years as a moderator of an unrelated forum. The first advice I give any newbie is to spend time getting a feel for the place before posting anything, and then ease into it as people get to know you. That's for a forum you wish to respect and participate in. But you aren't really here to participate, are you? This is just free ad space.

 

[Mule]

 

[Betty_Cocker]

Can you say pot stirrer?

 

[DaisyDoesIt]

and yet another brainless cat fight? sheesh. no wonder I pretty much just hang with guys........

 

[693987]

Oh look, the other "I'm not like other women" and "let me talk shit about women to get attention from men" user popped up. How surprising, except not at all.

 

[chicagosam]

There must have been a breach in the wall at Banned Camp and another breach releasing a toxic load of under bridge dwellers.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

no wonder I pretty much just hang with guys........

Translation: hey, men of lpsg, PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN VALUE MYSELF.

Lolz.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Its not a gender thing at all-
Half the men in wheelchairs were trying to out-stupid some other guy.

Its an insecurity thing.

Like it or not, women are in competition with each other for available men. They are in competition with each other for attention.
For status.
And Men are in competition with each other for available women, for their attention, and for status.
And now with women being liberated by reproductive choice, women are also in competition with each other and with men for career opportunities, job security, loans, and every other thing that used to be the killing fields delegated to men, alone.
Elk don't have antlers to fight off wolves- they have them to butt heads with other elk to see who gets to mate, or who gets to feed.

And It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that anyone else eating means you are going hungry.

It is the people who are insecure about themselves who are back biters, saboteurs, and underminers... Both Men and Women,
Those people who can only feel good about themselves by lowering others. Only feel they are winning when they see someone else losing.
They live in a mindset of perpetual contention... every interaction is every man, or woman, for themself.

Not all women are this way- and neither are all men- just enough to make social circles an almighty pain in the ass.


Professionally- I am always happy to help another artist out- to show them how to do something they don't know how to do, or share with them a source, or material that I rely on to make me money.

I can't tell you how many people have told me I am an idiot to help those competing with me for commissions,- But I have always seen fellow artists as FELLOWS- folks who see the world largely the way I see it. Folks who's company I enjoy. When I have more work than I can handle I refer clients to other artists who I know are competent and who need the work.
And in return for my treating them like we are one tribe- that we all swim or sink together- it is amazing how they can all pull together to help execute one big project on which I might be struggling, or how often they refer a client to me that they know needs a particular skill I have.

I think that is the mistake most folks make in not seeing all their fellow human beings as part of the same team.
But I think it takes a certain sense of self confidence not to see others as competition for the things you want for yourself.
To take delight in the success of others as much as you do your own.

If I saw a man slip something into a woman's drink I would break every bone in his hand.
If a guy in the bathroom stall was finding no toilet paper to hand I would find him some.

If someone I know is hurting, and in need of comfort or just a sympathetic ear- they know they can drop by unexpectedly at any hour of the day or night, and I will put aside my work, or my own needs and be there for them.


The only purpose life has, at all, is for us to help one another... thru the next day, or the next hour, or the next minute. Until there are no minutes left us.

 

[1345864]

Its not a gender thing at all-
Half the men in wheelchairs were trying to out-stupid some other guy.

Its an insecurity thing.

Like it or not, women are in competition with each other for available men. They are in competition with each other for attention.
For status.
And Men are in competition with each other for available women, for their attention, and for status.
And now with women being liberated by reproductive choice, women are also in competition with each other and with men for career opportunities, job security, loans, and every other thing that used to be the killing fields delegated to men, alone.
Elk don't have antlers to fight off wolves- they have them to butt heads with other elk to see who gets to mate, or who gets to feed.

And It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that anyone else eating means you are going hungry.

It is the people who are insecure about themselves who are back biters, saboteurs, and underminers... Both Men and Women,
Those people who can only feel good about themselves by lowering others. Only feel they are winning when they see someone else losing.
They live in a mindset of perpetual contention... every interaction is every man, or woman, for themself.

Not all women are this way- and neither are all men- just enough to make social circles an almighty pain in the ass.


Professionally- I am always happy to help another artist out- to show them how to do something they don't know how to do, or share with them a source, or material that I rely on to make me money.

I can't tell you how many people have told me I am an idiot to help those competing with me for commissions,- But I have always seen fellow artists as FELLOWS- folks who see the world largely the way I see it. Folks who's company I enjoy. When I have more work than I can handle I refer clients to other artists who I know are competent and who need the work.
And in return for my treating them like we are one tribe- that we all swim or sink together- it is amazing how they can all pull together to help execute one big project on which I might be struggling, or how often they refer a client to me that they know needs a particular skill I have.

I think that is the mistake most folks make in not seeing all their fellow human beings as part of the same team.
But I think it takes a certain sense of self confidence not to see others as competition for the things you want for yourself.
To take delight in the success of others as much as you do your own.

If I saw a man slip something into a woman's drink I would break every bone in his hand.
If a guy in the bathroom stall was finding no toilet paper to hand I would find him some.

If someone I know is hurting, and in need of comfort or just a sympathetic ear- they know they can drop by unexpectedly at any hour of the day or night, and I will put aside my work, or my own needs and be there for them.


The only purpose life has, at all, is for us to help one another... thru the next day, or the next hour, or the next minute. Until there are no minutes left us.

Love this. ^

As a rule I don't feel like I should comment in the Women's Issues forum, being a guy and all. Just feels like I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. But....we all should help one another. Everyone is just trying to get by and life is hard and brutal enough without people being selfish and predatory to one another.

That said, it's good to see women boost and help one another. Just as men should counsel and help one another, a little solidarity is a good thing. It warms the heart.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Fuck me she even had a video for this thread!!

 

[Sagittarius84]

I think maybe you're asking too much of women, to buck the trend of not looking out for one another. I think for all the evidence of success via cooperation we like to attribute to primate and/or hominid behavior, we like to gloss over our more malevolent or murderous tendencies as if they aren't just as ingrained nor as integral to our success as a species. To the small animal running for its very life in the rainforest, I don't think any more reprieve comes at the hand of a female chimp. To expect women to inhabit some higher pedestal of cooperation and benevolence is to question their very humanity.
One of my favorite sayings that applies to this is, "All skinfolk ain't kinfolk". We as Blacks/African Americans realize this, but Im sure Bubba in the Montgomery chapter of the KKK is acutely aware his klan brother Jethro may be fucking his wife behind his back..Log Cabin Republicans to the LGBT community at large, patriarchy to men in general, even TERFs within the realm of feminism; I could literally break down every single demographic, grouping, ideology, sexuality, gender, and find a sizeable population within it whose motives and actions are inherently contradictory to the well being of the rest of the group...
So for as frustrating as it may be, rap is definitely right, "Sometimes it be your own mans" because that is the nature of the human beast.

 

[seventiesdemon]

This might come off as kind of rambling, but here goes.

I believe in the sisterhood of women.

I believe in the raising of each other up, telling each other when the tag of your shirt is hanging out, when there is something stuck in your teeth, your cutlet is sticking out of your cleavage, handing a stranger toilet paper under a stall, handing out hard truths to a friend, handing out tampons to randoms in bathrooms, warning each other about the creep at work, checking out that weird spot in a private area, accompanying each other to scary doctor appointments, laughing when your besties underwear snaps in an awkward location, loaning one other your absolute best outfit, comforting crying women in the club bar when some asshole treats her poorly (lot of stuff happens in the bathroom - it’s why we go in packs), watching each other’s drinks and purses and pets and apartments, keeping each other’s secrets.

My god, the list goes on.

Recently, one of the ladies here shared something so wonderful here that it literally made me cry. I was thrilled for her. I worried for her. I had all kinds of feelings for her. We ladies love her with a ferocity that if anyone tried to hurt her, there’d be no limit on what we’d do for her. We have a sisterhood here.

Also recently, some woman posted that she was “different” than the rest of us. Really? I always wonder about such women. Women who buck the sisterhood. Maybe they just haven’t met the right women yet.

We have women here who have had few women friends, but yet are close with us. Why? Maybe we were the right women. We are all different, but have found such a kinship with each other.

Tl;dr. Why the hell do some women feel the need to hate on other women, when our relationships can really provide so much? Do you think men have the same thing?

I had this very discussion today with my....female mate ..

It has been difficult for both women and men to express independence of "gang" mentality online without attracting claws out attack.

It becomes difficult, near impossible for an individual to defend their position simply because of overload. It does not even take a total disagreement with the original idea...it can easily be an introduction of a thought or an alternative which can trigger an all out attack.

Forums are funny places, in real life rapports are built up with shaking of hands discussion, disagreement and usually some idea of personal history.

I find that in the end most if not all want the best for all.........it seems to be the small things, the misconstruance of the written word which tends to hold us back in forums.

Then again...........we'd have no political forum if everyone went around patting each other on the back.....that would get pretty old real quick.... It's like quick...introduce another fish for a feeding frenzy

Well written WW..

 

[seventiesdemon]

Bucking the Sisterhood, or the Brotherhood does not mean standing up at sometime, adding to discussion an individual, personal point of view.

Losing individual input into conversation by crushing it means we have lost the meaning of growth.

 

[rtg]

Love this! Thank you for this thread I agree with it all and it’s something I try to live by.

I have had a couple of female bosses in my career that were absolute bitches. I couldn’t for the life of me think why they would not want to support another (less senior) woman in her career? I love providing support, guidance and mentoring to other women.

I’ve never really been lucky enough to have a big group of girlfriends. In my younger years I had more male friends than female. I have been burnt by girls (they certainly didn’t act like women) so many times it made me cautious around letting other women in. But I’ve started to make some lovely female friends through work.

And I love the strong female community here. You ladies are honestly so inspiring and intelligent and I have so much love and respect for you all.

 

[LaFemme]

Love this! Thank you for this thread I agree with it all and it’s something I try to live by.

I have had a couple of female bosses in my career that were absolute bitches. I couldn’t for the life of me think why they would not want to support another (less senior) woman in her career? I love providing support, guidance and mentoring to other women.

I’ve never really been lucky enough to have a big group of girlfriends. In my younger years I had more male friends than female. I have been burnt by girls (they certainly didn’t act like women) so many times it made me cautious around letting other women in. But I’ve started to make some lovely female friends through work.

And I love the strong female community here. You ladies are honestly so inspiring and intelligent and I have so much love and respect for you all.

I volunteer to mentor new young women entering the career path in my organization, specifically Indigenous young women if they’re available and request it. (I’ve mentored a couple of young men, too.) There’s a lot to learn organizationally and personally about how to navigate the place where I work. Mixing Indigenous culture with the extreme demands of office culture can be a real clash, and I can help young women find balance in their lives. It’s extremely rewarding.

I know that you also understand how important the role of women are in both our cultures. We are the bedrock. I take that with me into the world. Supporting other women is important to me. Not at all costs, but where ever I can.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

At work I'm one of two woman employees, and often we don't work the same shift.

We help a variety of different types of people with a wide variety of health issues that we help them treat. Sometimes women aren't particularly comfortable asking the men I work with what would work best for certain issues (which I'm sure I don't have to explain) and they pull me aside to ask discretely.

To me, that's part of the sisterhood. I am always there if those women need me for something they don't feel comfortable asking a man.

 

[deleted924715]

Reading back through the thread...

They say everyone has a doppelganger somewhere... The inspiration for this thread certainly does.

LPSG is like Back to the Future - one version coexisting with the 20 year older version

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Translation: hey, men of lpsg, PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN VALUE MYSELF.

Lolz.

Funny how accurate this is again.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Another thing that keeps me in this sisterhood, not just here but in reality..

I have protected several women from dangerous men. I've (in my personal experiences on this planet) never had to physically defend a man against a woman.

I like to think that if I ever need it, and there's a sister around when I need her, that she would do the same for me.

 

[rtg]

I love how often women can just catch the eye if another woman we don’t know and smile at each other, as if to say “I see you”. And also if something weird is going down or someone is acting like a fool, we can pass each other a smirk, as if to silently agree and show solidarity to each other.