Buddy and I sexual encounter

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by GVBcock, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. GVBcock

    GVBcock New Member

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    This was about a month ago. My buddy and I are very good friends, we talk about our girlfriends, issues, give each other advice, we confide in each other, basically we trust and respect each other.

    Well one night we go to the strip bar and we purchase a few lap dances, both of us getting pretty horned up. We go back to my place and we are just chillin.

    He decides to turn some porn on (this is nothing out of the ordinary). We begin to watch and he looks over asking if i got a boner, he also says its cool if i want to whip out my dick and start stroking. I didnt thnk anything of it and i did just that. He suddenly grabs it and says "let me help you out"

    He begins to stroke me and something comes over me and i do the same to him. we end up sucking each other off.

    I ask him bout it the next day and he said we will talk bout it when he sees me. we nvr ended up talkin bout it. This situation has happened twice since. i dont mind it but im confused by it.
     
  2. Brensta

    Gold Member

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    Hey mate

    He sounds like does not as yet identify himself as being partially attracted to men, in this position the ideal thing for him is to be able to experience it, but not identify himself any particular way with it.

    You wanted to "talk" about it with him is noble, but if he isnt ready to discuss it, and any pushing from you to encourage him to consider what he enjoys will be met with him just brushing the issue off.

    Tell him that if he ever wants to talk about it, you are there for him. Whether or not you continue to play like this is simply up for you two to decide individually.
     
  3. CUBE

    Gold Member

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    you guys are just sexual...and now you'll always have a bond. you may be in this phase for a while or move on. just enjoy the time
     
  4. hungcuriousnc

    hungcuriousnc Active Member

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    I think it's awesome you have a friend you are comfortable enough with to do that! I say sit back, enjoy it and help a bro out at the same time! YOu lucky bastard! LOL
     
  5. coachreffn

    coachreffn Active Member

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    I had a similar incident in my life. It was a one time thing and it did not hurt our friendship in the least. We did talk about it but only briefly and then have moved on from that. I agree with one of the posts above that you are both simply sexual. No need to be confused by it or expect that life will be different. If it happens again it does. The fact that your friends is defined; this new wrinkle in the relationship need not be the topic of a huge discussion....but hey, that was my experience.
     
  6. D_Layme Ducque

    D_Layme Ducque New Member

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    That all sounds like fun, but what about the girlfriends? Im all for getting your kicks and enjoyin life, just as long as nobody else gets hurt. And believe me, she will be hurt to find out your cheating, and with your best friend!!
     
  7. GVBcock

    GVBcock New Member

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    The girlfriends dont know a thing to b perfectly honest. I identfy myself as bi although im not out. and my friend i always thought he was straight as a arrow... but the "we are just sexual" may just be the answer...
     
  8. luchoarg

    luchoarg Member

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    Hey GVBCock. I agree completely with Brensta. I`m sure many of us would love to have a friend like yours. Maybe he is not ready to talk about it. As long as both of you are confortable with the situation, and gives pleasure to both of you, why stopping and why the obligation of talking about it. Don´t be so structured and enjoy it.
    In my oppinion what you have is only between you. I don´t see you are cheating your girls: first you are not loving another person with the same "love" you have to her; second you are not having sex with another woman; and third he is not a guy you picked up in a bar... is your friend. I´m sure a woman wouldn´t understand the whole situation... as we don´t understand why they go together to the beauty saloon or go together to buy clothes, or the only thing important in a wedding party is the bride´s dress...

    Peace
     
  9. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    i'm a man and i dont understand this situation. i honestly think its just homosexual sex between two males who decide to cover it up because they fear judgement by society.
     
  10. GVBcock

    GVBcock New Member

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    Quick update in the past month we hooked up twice. Alcohol was involved in both encounters. Find it funny we never seem to address what happened the night before. we just act as if nothing happened. i really want to know what he considers himself. i don't want a potential relationship out of it. but i guess its would be easier to know...clarification i have no problem with these random hookups... i dont kno just me thinking out loud.
     
  11. ck85x65

    ck85x65 New Member

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    er, um, yes sex can be spiritual, with deep meaning and significance. Yes, it can be a route to a person's essence, and a magnificently satisfying as a connection with another human being.

    but it is, also, and at the same time, fun and enjoyable, and physically satisfying as something to share, in intimacy.

    every guy knows (can't speak for women, but assume it is the same) that an orgasm is eagerly anticipated, and when it occurs, endorphins are released in the brain, and the body explodes in pleasure ... guys blast a load and frankly, it feels incredibly good.

    So ! You can choose to wallow in analysis to the point where your brain hurts, and argue ad nauseum about what it "means", and how best to categorize the experience ... or you can accept what has happened at face value, enjoy it for what it was, and move on. Maybe it will happen again, maybe it won't. Maybe it will be traumatic, or maybe it won't be such a drama, unless you want it to be.

    Your choice, ultimately, yes ?
     
  12. GVBcock

    GVBcock New Member

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    thanks for putting it into perspective for me. Im pretty analytical... so thank you. i am probably trying to read into this a little too much. thanks buddy.
     
  13. Maxime_

    Maxime_ New Member

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    Just don't ask yourself anything....it is fun,you both like it;so it's great!have fun! Nothing to worry about...;-)!
     
  14. curiouscam

    curiouscam New Member

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    Something VERY similar happened to me once and we didn't talk about it for years. (My friend and I) A year or so ago when I brought it up he gave me the most frank, and honestly the best answer. "We were 2 horny guys, drinking and watching porn. What the fuck was I gonna do, run to the bathroom and jack off? I've seen your dick before and you've seen mine. I don't want to go pick out fucking china patterns with you, but if I want to rub one out while you are around who gives a shit." Till this day we joke about it and he never holds back if the subject comes up. Got to love a man comfortable with his sexuality :biggrin1:
     
  15. B_Lightkeeper

    B_Lightkeeper New Member

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    I love that bit about "picking out china patterns!" :biggrin1:
     
  16. buzzrider7

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    So do I, but I see a pretty huge difference between two horned up buds rubbing one out on the same couch and two guys "hooking up" as the OP stated (oral sex, etc.).
    I'd say the friend in this situation is definitely exploring his mansex desires and not just taking care of being horny. If you're both in your early 20s, then I'd say now's the time to be exploring those feelings of curiosity. The offer to talk about it has been made, so I agree to let him bring it up when he's ready. Till then, have fun and keep us posted!
     
  17. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Member

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    The four scariest words in the English language are “we need to talk.”

    The guy doesn’t want to talk about it. Lots of guys are that way. Face it, words are just something you have to come up with to placate someone else who insists or words. Actions speak truth.

    Who cares why and why care for how long – as long as he’s initiated it and you are liking it.

    A pair of homey buddies rubbing out a couple, while seated in the same room watching straight porn, is probably not gay. Getting together and sucking off each other three times – what do you think – seems to me you guys dig each other to some extent.

    You like your girls too; I guess that makes you bi. But that’s just a label. You’re who you are and he’s who he is and, if you want to know the truth, I’d trade places with either one of you and you'd be nuts to let me do it - so enjoy, man!

    Frankly, I don’t see any reason to discuss it with anyone – except here - unless one of you is using his teeth - then somebody really does need to talk.
     
    #17 Chase1600, Feb 12, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2010
  18. ck85x65

    ck85x65 New Member

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    you are welcome.

    I am delighted that curiouscam found another way to word the same sentiment.

    Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all do the same ? What I mean is, just step back a bit, look at things from a different perspective, and chill a bit ? How much of what we see each day is the product of waaaaaayyyyy too much drama ... ?

    by the way, the comment about picking out china patterns is phrased a different way in the Disney film "Alladin" ... something about not wanting to pick out curtains ...

    the message is the same.

    We are, as humans, more alike than we are different, and most of what happens to us is neither traumatic nor worthy of too much introspection.

    keep smilin ' !
     
  19. sagifan

    sagifan Member

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    I couldnt agree more! Well said Brensta!
     
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