bug chase mind set something to think about

[ladsonbehr49]

Carlos nonchalantly asks whether his drink was made with whole or skim milk. He takes a moment to slurp on his grande Caffe Mocha in a crowded Starbucks, and then he gets back to explaining how much he wants HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. His eyes light up as he says that the actual moment of transmission, the instant he gets HIV, will be "the most erotic thing I can imagine." He seems like a typical thirty-two-year-old man, but, in fact, he has a secret life. Carlos is chasing the bug. "I know what the risks are, and I know that putting myself in this situation is like putting a gun to my head," he says. Some of that mountain music that's so popular is playing, making the moment even more surreal as a Southern voice sings, "Keep on the sunny side of life" behind Carlos. "But I think it turns the other guy on to know that I'm negative and that they're bringing me into the brotherhood. That gets me off, too."
I met Carlos in New York's Greenwich Village, the neighborhood where he usually hangs out. He is tall, with a large build, and plenty of gay men find him attractive. His longish, curly-wavy hair is jet-black with golden highlights, and his face is soft and just a bit feminine. He has a very appealing smile and laugh, and he's a funny guy sometimes. The conversation veers from the banal -- his fascination with the reality show The Amazing Race -- to his desire for HIV. Carlos' tone never changes when switching from one topic to the other.
When asked whether he is prepared to live with HIV after that "erotic" moment, Carlos dismisses living with HIV as a minor annoyance. Like most bug chasers, he has the impression that the virus just isn't such a big deal anymore: "It's like living with diabetes. You take a few pills and get on with your life." Carlos spends the afternoon continually calling a man named Richard, someone he met on the Internet. They met on barebackcity.com about a year ago, while Carlos was still with his boyfriend. That boyfriend left because Carlos was having sex with other men and because he was interested in barebacking -- the practice of having sex without a condom. Carlos and Richard are arranging a "date" for later that day.
Carlos is part of an intricate underground world that has sprouted, driven almost completely by the Internet, in which men who want to be infected with HIV get together with those who are willing to infect them. The men who want the virus are called "bug chasers," and the men who freely give the virus to them are called "gift givers." While the rest of the world fights the AIDS epidemic and most people fear HIV infection, this subculture celebrates the virus and eroticizes it. HIV-infected semen is treated like liquid gold. Carlos has been chasing the bug for more than a year in a topsy-turvy world in which every convention about HIV is turned upside down. The virus isn't horrible and fearsome, it's beautiful and sexy -- and delivered in the way that is most likely to result in infection. In this world, the men with HIV are the most desired, and the bug chasers will do anything to get the virus -- to "get knocked up," to be "bred" or "initiated into the brotherhood."
Like a lot of sexual fetishes and extreme behaviors, bug chasing could not exist without the Internet, or at least it couldn't thrive. Prior to the advent of Web surfing and e-mail, it would have been practically impossible for bug chasing to happen in any great numbers, because it's still not acceptable to walk up to a stranger and say you want the virus. But the Internet's anonymity and broad access make it possible to find someone with like interests, no matter how outlandish. Carlos surfs online about twenty hours a week looking for men to have sex with, usually frequenting sites such as bareback.com and barebackcity.com, plus a number of Internet discussion groups. Most of the Web sites use the pretense that they actually are about barebacking, which is in itself risky and controversial but still a long way from bug chasing. For the Web sites, that distinction is at best razor-thin and more often just an outright lie. "We got Poz4Poz, Neg4Neg and bug chasers looking to join the club," the welcome page to barebackcity.com, which claims 48,000 registered users, up from 28,000 about a year ago, recently said. "Be the first to seed a newbie and give him a pozitive attitude!"
Within this online community, bug chasers revel in their desires, using their own lingo about "poz" and "neg" men, "bug juice" and "conversion" from negative to positive. User profiles include names such as BugChaser21, Knockmeup, BugMeSoon, ConvertMeSir, PozCum4NegHole and GiftGiver. The posters are upfront about seeking HIV, even extremely enthusiastic, possibly because the Web sites are about the only place a bug seeker can really express his desires openly. Under turn-ons, a poster called PozMeChgo craves a "hot poz load deep in me. I really want to be converted!! Breed me/seed me!" Carlos' profile on one Web site lists his screen name as ConvertMe, and he says he wants a man "to fill me up with that poison seed." His AOL Instant Messenger name is Bug Juice Wanted.
It's not uncommon to see people post replies to the profiles encouraging the men to seek HIV. One such comment reads, "This guy knows what he wants!! I would love to plant my seeds ) Come and join the club. The more we are, the stronger we are." A Yahoo! spokeswoman confirms that the company shuts down such sites when it receives notice that the subscribers are promoting HIV infection or any other kind of harm to one another, but the company doesn't go looking for bug chasers in its thousands of discussion groups, most established by subscribers themselves. Recently, it was easy to find two discussion groups on Yahoo! that promoted bug chasing, one called barebackover50 and one called gayextremebareback. The first discussion group was established in 1998 and had 1,439 members at the end of 2002. Yahoo! closed the group after Rolling Stone inquired about it.
Condoms and safe sex are openly ridiculed on bug-chasing Web sites, with many bug chasers rebelling against what they see as the dogma of safe-sex education; constantly thinking about a deadly disease takes all the fun out of sex, they say, and condoms suck. Carlos agrees and says getting HIV will make safe sex a moot point. "It's about freedom," he says. "What else can happen to us after this? You can fuck whoever you want, fuck as much as you want, and nothing worse can happen to you. Nothing bad can happen after you get HIV."



this is what scares me about this nut bag...and who knows probably wants to give it others....very scary.
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5939950/in_search_of_death/4

 

[B_Nick8]

I apologize, but I can't read things in tiny print without paragraphs.

 

[SnitchQitch]

to each his own i guess.

 

[cklover]

Sick sick sick

 

[ladsonbehr49]

I apologize, but I can't read things in tiny print without paragraphs.

I just cut and paste it from article and wanted to pass it along...

 

[FuzzyKen]

I have an ex-roommate who is sero-positive. He is a long term survivor. It is estimated that he was infected about 1981 and that means that he has been sero-positive for 28 years. He has buried nearly every friend he has ever had. He has watched people die covered with leisions, he has seen P.M.L., he has religiously taken care of himself. He is now becoming a victim not of HIV, but of long term consumption of all of the required anti-retroviral agents.

He takes medication to correct a cholesterol level which reached 600 before these medications were added to his pill box. He has been hospitalized multiple times for ulcerations of the throat and esophagus, he was hospitalized when a new and incompetent MD screwed up his drugs to the point that the drugs themselves became toxic and nearly killed him. Those caused lactic acidosis to the point that in the hospital he was in ICU because the toxic medications nearly stopped his heart.

At this time he is residing near Palm Springs, California. Anyone stupid enough to want to become infected can do it easily there because most of the community in that area are currently sero-positve.

New cases of HIV in the Coachella Valley are higher than any other area in California and at one point new cases in the Coachella Valley were higher than Los Angeles and San Diego combined.

My ex-roommate has been approached many times from young 20 somethings who what to be "seeded". He has fought to preserve his life and these young kids do not know what they are doing. They are mentally ill and under some huge misconceptions. What is unknown is who, whom, or what are perpetuating the myths that these kids are feeding on.

What the above article does not understand is the mindset of these individuals. The younger they are the more strange things get. These very young individuals live by a guide for living that is incredible. The first thing in their minds is that if they are seeded and sero-convert then they may never have to work or earn a living. The next thing is that they mostly have the misconception that they can have all the anabolic steroids that they want. The basic concept I saw many times was that they thought that if they did it right, they could lead a life of leisure made up of screwing their brains out, going to the gym, and never having to work within a short time living life as a total vacation. Many of these people watched others being supported by taxpayers and leading lives that were far less than productive.

The California Legal System has been debating this issue. There have been a few convictions in Riverside County at this point of "gift-givers" and a very small number of these individuals have found themselves in jail for their act of "giving" . I suspect that over time the underground organizations will in fact be "infiltrated" by officers of State and County Health Departments. In some jurisdictions these individuals are peace officers and they can make arrests.

The one thing preventing this from being brought to an end is a simple one and that is money. California, like many states is in financial crisis and the money to investigate, perform "sting operations", and all the rest simply is not there.

I myself have, by virtue of what I have done for a living buried a total of 55 people. I think that any idiot out there seeking this needs to see the people who live the life that they aspire to.

After a period of time the MD's have to do what is called "kitchen sinking". The various strains of the viruses combine and create strains that are more and more resistent to the treatments. What the MD then must do is to increase the medications to unheard of levels and then the internal organs of the patient start to fail from the meds alone.

I have seen this one. The kids seeking this out have not seen one of these guys towards the end. The face is sunken in as the drugs cause weird disfigurements, the bellies grow to huge proportions as the HGH injections increase to combat the wasting syndrome. The drugs kill testosterone and the testosterone must be increased again and again, and the next problem is that the cholesterol and other effects now cause erectile dysfunction to such a level that even injectable medication has a hard time dealing with it.

The mere existence of "bug chasers" is one of the saddest chapters of the entire HIV crisis. We have the ability right now to end this disease and these idiots keep it going for reasons of insantity.

I am sorry guys, I have seen this kind of garbage personally, and because of my age, when I was out and around in that area it was assumed by some "children" that I was sero-positive. The experiences I had with this very issue was one of the reasons that I left the Coachella Valley and moved to New Mexico. It is a personal "soap box" issue to me and all of us need to contribute to sanity and reject this behavior as exactly what it is.

 

[B_Nick8]

I just cut and paste it from article and wanted to pass it along...

Yeah, no, it was late and I was tired and I kept losing my place so I had to stop. I re-read it today.

I've heard about this extremely tiny subgroup of ill-informed men before. It is not true that once infected you can have all the unprotected sex you want with any other positive person you want; there are different strains of the virus with which you can again become infected and which further assault your body.

And how anyone can eroticize a potentially deadly disease is completely beyond me.

I find this all deeply disturbing.