Bug Chasing

emasculated

Cherished Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2010
Posts
103
Media
0
Likes
359
Points
293
Location
Toronto
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I have tried to find recent threads in The forums on this phenomenon but it seems most are years old. I realize this is a sensitive topic, and for good reason. HIV is a serious global health issue and I would never seek to trivialize it by making it some kind of sport.

But if I am honest with myself I must confess I find the idea arousing. I am not sure why, I just do.

I am bisexual and not very active sexually. The consequences of becoming HIV+ are too serious for me to ever consider allowing another man who is HIV+ to bareback me. In fact, I would never let any man bareback me. The risk could be life changing.

I have considered letting an HIV+ man top me wearing a condom, but I am still not prepared to take even the smallest risk with HIV.

I have read some very unkind words directed towards those who choose to become HIV+. While I don’t agree with their decision, for a number of reasons, I believe I need to respect their lives as their own.

This post is more a confessional than a question but I welcome comments.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Shofixti

Shofixti

LPSG Legend
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Posts
4,761
Media
56
Likes
149,119
Points
868
Location
Auckland (New Zealand)
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I think this has become a moot point in the dual era of U=U and PrEP

Now you can take loads directly from HIV+ cocks and if they are undetectable, they have no ability to transfer the virus. If they're not undetectable, a solid PrEP routine reduces the 1 in 300 chance of seroconversion down to something like 1 in 200,000

Now it's really time to embrace our positive and undetectable brothers. I'm in contact with two - one a top, one a bottom and I intend to be raw with both.

Your fantasies and fears are a bit outdated now, but easily uplifted with a bit of education :)
 
Last edited:

malakos

Superior Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2012
Posts
8,358
Media
30
Likes
6,518
Points
223
Location
Cumming, GA, USA
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
I have read some very unkind words directed towards those who choose to become HIV+. While I don’t agree with their decision, for a number of reasons, I believe I need to respect their lives as their own.

Why? Why is the deliberate acquisition of an infectious agent a choice that is to be respected, as opposed to the seemingly more natural view of it as a waste of health (at least in the self-sustaining, constitutional sense) and resources, and most likely rooted in pathology?
 

Shofixti

LPSG Legend
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Posts
4,761
Media
56
Likes
149,119
Points
868
Location
Auckland (New Zealand)
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I can imagine that it is three main things:

N.B. these are not my actual thoughts at all and I mean no offense to anyone, much love
  1. A fetishisation of stigma: to eroticise the other, the abject, the dirty, the dangerous, the lascivious and wanton, the abandon, the risk
  2. A social belonging: When you're positive, you're in, you're included, you're one of the guys, you're the special case, the very notion of a bug chasing party positions the positive man as the special agent, the catalyst, the shaman perhaps
  3. A threshold crossing: Once you seroconvert you no longer have to fear seroconversion, so you've negotiated away the sexual anxiety by embracing the thing you've feared
But - on the whole, bug chasing can only be done within a Western context when men specifically reject health maintenance related to HIV and decide to entertain a threat to their own lifespan (perhaps isolated cases other issues arise related to the medication, immunity, kidney or liver damage or a great progression in the illness, but that should be rare).

Now we can positively eroticise the undetectable man as an agent of self care, we can expect with him a full and happy life. That seems to be a better way to be.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fishsqueezee69

michael_3165

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 7, 2005
Posts
1,410
Media
9
Likes
3,230
Points
468
Location
London (Greater London, England)
Verification
View
Gender
Male
I can imagine that it is three main things:

N.B. these are not my actual thoughts at all and I mean no offense to anyone, much love
  1. A fetishisation of stigma: to eroticise the other, the abject, the dirty, the dangerous, the lascivious and wanton, the abandon, the risk
  2. A social belonging: When you're positive, you're in, you're included, you're one of the guys, you're the special case, the very notion of a bug chasing party positions the positive man as the special agent, the catalyst, the shaman perhaps
  3. A threshold crossing: Once you seroconvert you no longer have to fear seroconversion, so you've negotiated away the sexual anxiety by embracing the thing you've feared
But - on the whole, bug chasing can only be done within a Western context when men specifically reject health maintenance related to HIV and decide to entertain a threat to their own lifespan (perhaps isolated cases other issues arise related to the medication, immunity, kidney or liver damage or a great progression in the illness, but that should be rare).

Now we can positively eroticise the undetectable man as an agent of self care, we can expect with him a full and happy life. That seems to be a better way to be.

One of the guys? I bleivee you have it way off the mark w that.
 

cedarizzo

Superior Member
Joined
Apr 15, 2013
Posts
1,495
Media
34
Likes
6,513
Points
533
Location
Champaign, IL, USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Many years ago, I was friends with a guy that I saw at the adult bookstore occasionally. We played with each other a few times, but mainly we just chatted and were friendly with each other. He disappeared for a while and a few years later, he showed up online. We started chatting online, but each time we chatted, his conversation would start off with "Have you caught the bug?" I asked him why he wanted to be infected with HIV and the only thing he could say is he didn't want to worry about catching it. Needless to say, I didn't play with him again. This was many years ago and long before Prep. But I will admit that I was really creeped out by how badly he wanted to be infected.
 
  • Like
Reactions: U12345 and malakos

emasculated

Cherished Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2010
Posts
103
Media
0
Likes
359
Points
293
Location
Toronto
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I started this thread a year ago. I have learned a lot in that time. As 2021 is upon us I want to share my experience with a dominant, HIV+ man whose spell I fell under and was considering having him seroconvert me.I want to preface sharing my experience by saying that this man will always have my utmost respect. Why, you might ask? He never once pressured me and insisted I fully understand what I was asking for.

It was May, 2020. My wife had passed away from terminal brain cancer twenty-six months previous. I have not been sexually active in years. I don’t recall the exact path that lead me to connect with this man, but I ended up on a forum that discussed men who were HIV positive and looking ‘breed’ negative men.

As I read through the many posts on this forum, this man spoke very openly and eloquently about his desire to infect a few men. I became entranced with his writing and I reached out to him directly. He took me on a journey and psychologically manipulated me from afar. I found myself asking for his guidance, convincing myself I was merely curious; but deep down I knew I was being pulled into his sphere of control.

He asked me to research HIV. He explained that I needed to understand the biology of HIV and how it attacks my CD4 cells and hijacks my own DNA to slowly destroy my immune system. I do not take HIV lightly, even with the advances in treatment. But I confess I found it fascinating to learn how, from a biological point of view, this virus seeks to promote its own life by destroying mine.

Next, he asked me to research the A3/02 strain of HIV, which is the strain with which he was infected. It is a very toxic virus that has been deemed to have originated in Western Africa. It proved resistant to PreP and appeared to have more resistance to ART treatments. His viral load was in the millions, despite being on meds. Once he was content I understood the end results and the risks, he moved on. He never asked me why. I believe he only wanted to find men who understood the risk. In one message he wrote in bold letters, “think about this very carefully.”

Each time he sent me on a task of educating myself, I became more addicted to the idea of allowing him to inject me with his sperm. He informed me that his process of seroconversion was very clinical when compared to other HIV positive tops. His process was well thought out and maximized the chance of infecting me with his toxic strain. He started by using a small brush to irritate the lining of my anus. The brush was covered in vegetable oil which helped it enter the anal cavity easily; but the oil also acts as a vector to carry his virus to my healthy cells where it would “replicate and crowd out (my) native chemistry and alter (me) for the balance of my life.”

When it was time to seroconvert me, he would remain dressed and merely take his cock out of his pants, requiring me to look at his cock and ask for his virus to be implanted in me. He assured me that this was only about my seroconversion, it was not about sex. He would only require five or six very forceful thrusts before he would deposit his load of virus laden semen into my body. His toxic seed would swim easily through the abrasions in my anus and quickly begin to attack my immune system.

He warned me that once he entered my anus, there was no stopping the process. That was the point where my own free will evaporated. Even though it might take up to thirty seconds for him to release his disease-producing germs into me, he would not stop until I was infected. He informed me that in those few seconds from when he first entered me, until I felt his sperm splash inside, I would feel an intense emotion that would cause my heart to race, only further facilitating his purpose of infecting me. He was correct, for even as I read his words, my heart was racing.

I became obsessed, spending hours thinking about HIS process and the consequences. He never once pressured me to proceed. This had to be my choice. It was my responsibility to ask for his help. I had to want this. I had to be ready.

I took some time and when I tried to connect again, he stopped responding. I am happy today that I did not proceed—perhaps he knew that I could not stop myself under his control and he sensed my hesitation was a sign I was not ready. I confess I am still drawn to him and not sure what would happen if he contacted me.
 

Infernal

Superior Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2008
Posts
3,565
Media
7
Likes
5,139
Points
593
Age
54
Location
Phoenix, Arizona, United States of America
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I started this thread a year ago. I have learned a lot in that time. As 2021 is upon us I want to share my experience with a dominant, HIV+ man whose spell I fell under and was considering having him seroconvert me.I want to preface sharing my experience by saying that this man will always have my utmost respect. Why, you might ask? He never once pressured me and insisted I fully understand what I was asking for.

I won't quote the entire thing because it's completely fucked up on so many levels. Your choices are completely your own but his manipulation is insidious.
 

DiamondJoe

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Posts
6,578
Media
10
Likes
7,866
Points
133
Age
44
Location
Glastonbury (Somerset, England)
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I started this thread a year ago. I have learned a lot in that time. As 2021 is upon us I want to share my experience with a dominant, HIV+ man whose spell I fell under and was considering having him seroconvert me.I want to preface sharing my experience by saying that this man will always have my utmost respect. Why, you might ask? He never once pressured me and insisted I fully understand what I was asking for.

It was May, 2020. My wife had passed away from terminal brain cancer twenty-six months previous. I have not been sexually active in years. I don’t recall the exact path that lead me to connect with this man, but I ended up on a forum that discussed men who were HIV positive and looking ‘breed’ negative men.

As I read through the many posts on this forum, this man spoke very openly and eloquently about his desire to infect a few men. I became entranced with his writing and I reached out to him directly. He took me on a journey and psychologically manipulated me from afar. I found myself asking for his guidance, convincing myself I was merely curious; but deep down I knew I was being pulled into his sphere of control.

He asked me to research HIV. He explained that I needed to understand the biology of HIV and how it attacks my CD4 cells and hijacks my own DNA to slowly destroy my immune system. I do not take HIV lightly, even with the advances in treatment. But I confess I found it fascinating to learn how, from a biological point of view, this virus seeks to promote its own life by destroying mine.

Next, he asked me to research the A3/02 strain of HIV, which is the strain with which he was infected. It is a very toxic virus that has been deemed to have originated in Western Africa. It proved resistant to PreP and appeared to have more resistance to ART treatments. His viral load was in the millions, despite being on meds. Once he was content I understood the end results and the risks, he moved on. He never asked me why. I believe he only wanted to find men who understood the risk. In one message he wrote in bold letters, “think about this very carefully.”

Each time he sent me on a task of educating myself, I became more addicted to the idea of allowing him to inject me with his sperm. He informed me that his process of seroconversion was very clinical when compared to other HIV positive tops. His process was well thought out and maximized the chance of infecting me with his toxic strain. He started by using a small brush to irritate the lining of my anus. The brush was covered in vegetable oil which helped it enter the anal cavity easily; but the oil also acts as a vector to carry his virus to my healthy cells where it would “replicate and crowd out (my) native chemistry and alter (me) for the balance of my life.”

When it was time to seroconvert me, he would remain dressed and merely take his cock out of his pants, requiring me to look at his cock and ask for his virus to be implanted in me. He assured me that this was only about my seroconversion, it was not about sex. He would only require five or six very forceful thrusts before he would deposit his load of virus laden semen into my body. His toxic seed would swim easily through the abrasions in my anus and quickly begin to attack my immune system.

He warned me that once he entered my anus, there was no stopping the process. That was the point where my own free will evaporated. Even though it might take up to thirty seconds for him to release his disease-producing germs into me, he would not stop until I was infected. He informed me that in those few seconds from when he first entered me, until I felt his sperm splash inside, I would feel an intense emotion that would cause my heart to race, only further facilitating his purpose of infecting me. He was correct, for even as I read his words, my heart was racing.

I became obsessed, spending hours thinking about HIS process and the consequences. He never once pressured me to proceed. This had to be my choice. It was my responsibility to ask for his help. I had to want this. I had to be ready.

I took some time and when I tried to connect again, he stopped responding. I am happy today that I did not proceed—perhaps he knew that I could not stop myself under his control and he sensed my hesitation was a sign I was not ready. I confess I am still drawn to him and not sure what would happen if he contacted me.
This is just wrong on so many levels.

I deeply believe that this other man has taken advantage of you, irrespective of whether you think your actions are your own.
 

Fishsqueezee69

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Mar 23, 2020
Posts
1,079
Media
34
Likes
4,310
Points
308
Location
Pittsburgh (Pennsylvania, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I started this thread a year ago. I have learned a lot in that time. As 2021 is upon us I want to share my experience with a dominant, HIV+ man whose spell I fell under and was considering having him seroconvert me.I want to preface sharing my experience by saying that this man will always have my utmost respect. Why, you might ask? He never once pressured me and insisted I fully understand what I was asking for.

It was May, 2020. My wife had passed away from terminal brain cancer twenty-six months previous. I have not been sexually active in years. I don’t recall the exact path that lead me to connect with this man, but I ended up on a forum that discussed men who were HIV positive and looking ‘breed’ negative men.

As I read through the many posts on this forum, this man spoke very openly and eloquently about his desire to infect a few men. I became entranced with his writing and I reached out to him directly. He took me on a journey and psychologically manipulated me from afar. I found myself asking for his guidance, convincing myself I was merely curious; but deep down I knew I was being pulled into his sphere of control.

He asked me to research HIV. He explained that I needed to understand the biology of HIV and how it attacks my CD4 cells and hijacks my own DNA to slowly destroy my immune system. I do not take HIV lightly, even with the advances in treatment. But I confess I found it fascinating to learn how, from a biological point of view, this virus seeks to promote its own life by destroying mine.

Next, he asked me to research the A3/02 strain of HIV, which is the strain with which he was infected. It is a very toxic virus that has been deemed to have originated in Western Africa. It proved resistant to PreP and appeared to have more resistance to ART treatments. His viral load was in the millions, despite being on meds. Once he was content I understood the end results and the risks, he moved on. He never asked me why. I believe he only wanted to find men who understood the risk. In one message he wrote in bold letters, “think about this very carefully.”

Each time he sent me on a task of educating myself, I became more addicted to the idea of allowing him to inject me with his sperm. He informed me that his process of seroconversion was very clinical when compared to other HIV positive tops. His process was well thought out and maximized the chance of infecting me with his toxic strain. He started by using a small brush to irritate the lining of my anus. The brush was covered in vegetable oil which helped it enter the anal cavity easily; but the oil also acts as a vector to carry his virus to my healthy cells where it would “replicate and crowd out (my) native chemistry and alter (me) for the balance of my life.”

When it was time to seroconvert me, he would remain dressed and merely take his cock out of his pants, requiring me to look at his cock and ask for his virus to be implanted in me. He assured me that this was only about my seroconversion, it was not about sex. He would only require five or six very forceful thrusts before he would deposit his load of virus laden semen into my body. His toxic seed would swim easily through the abrasions in my anus and quickly begin to attack my immune system.

He warned me that once he entered my anus, there was no stopping the process. That was the point where my own free will evaporated. Even though it might take up to thirty seconds for him to release his disease-producing germs into me, he would not stop until I was infected. He informed me that in those few seconds from when he first entered me, until I felt his sperm splash inside, I would feel an intense emotion that would cause my heart to race, only further facilitating his purpose of infecting me. He was correct, for even as I read his words, my heart was racing.

I became obsessed, spending hours thinking about HIS process and the consequences. He never once pressured me to proceed. This had to be my choice. It was my responsibility to ask for his help. I had to want this. I had to be ready.

I took some time and when I tried to connect again, he stopped responding. I am happy today that I did not proceed—perhaps he knew that I could not stop myself under his control and he sensed my hesitation was a sign I was not ready. I confess I am still drawn to him and not sure what would happen if he contacted me.

I think you seriously should get help. Did you ever seek help after your wife died?
 
  • Like
Reactions: named and U12345