Bummed....again

D_yltg8o7

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So yet again I find myself dissapointed :/. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have semi-recently broke up with a long term girlfriend and I have since decided to try to explore the other side of my sexuality. I've already vented about my crush on my best friend, which ended in failure.

Since then I've joined a dating site and actually met a guy whom I kinda liked, we went on a date (which was my first gay date) and it was actually kinda nice but I didn't have all that much in common with him so it didn't work out. Then I found out that this really cute guy from my friends job is gay (and he's good friends with my friend). So I expressed interest my friend tried to hook us up. However he later told my friend that I'm "cute. But could b cuter." and basically said that he's not interested. That actually disapointed me a lot more than I expected, I may not have known him very well personally but he always seemed like such a cool guy, my friend always spoke vey highly of him, and was actually one of the few openly gay people I have ever met that I have actually found very attractive (I'm very picky when it comes to guys I guess).

I'm starting to realize that guys are just as annoying as girls, just in different ways and I'm considering becoming a hermit and moving to Asia or something.
I'm temporarily done with girls after my last experience and I feel like I'm never going to find a guy. I'm only attracted to masculine guys and it seems like dating sites (only place ik where I can meet another guy as I'm not into the gay scene) only have desperate guys or sex feinds. Idk
 

Exbiker

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I don't know if it's any comfort, but I've started to think that you can't learn much from any one experience, or one relationship going wrong / failing to get started.

Or even from two or three experiences.

And add to that, the fact that we ourselves all change as we learn and grow.

Just keep going - broaden. Take it slow. It's not about giving yourself a handful of chances.

It's a continuum.

:)
 

CUBE

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Keep going man, you are going to be fine. I suspect the friend of a friend from work scenerio might have been more about the fact that if it doesn't work out it will be too much drama in a close circle. I found a nice guy 13 years ago and kept him. When I was looking I treated in like a job. When I went to the gym, shopping, movies, whatever...I made sure I looked good and I also talked to people and put myself out there. If you can't find someone in your normal routine, change the routine to widen your base.
 

rbkwp

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Imagine

very few have that instant one love forever scenario
maybe a few out there?
but
gotta be a lot more going thru that experimental phase, surely?
 

D_yltg8o7

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The thing is that I'm not fully "out". I dont hide it but I don't talk about it either, I just never made a big deal out of it and would like to keep it that way for now. The catch is it makes it even more difficult for me to potentially meet another guy, especially the type that I would be attracted too. :(
 

rbkwp

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The thing is that I'm not fully "out". I dont hide it but I don't talk about it either,

Same

No worries matey
what will be etc
I never ever officially if you will 'came out'
in the real conventional expected scene
never stopped me from contributing when i felt comfortable etc
and i eventually found a compatible partner

sooo, whatever takes place in your life, all GOOD
just remain steadfast in your beliefs, is of importance me thinks
Cheers
i chose to remain solo after that btw.. all OK
 

Daisy

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"I'm starting to realize that guys are just as annoying as girls" hahaha!

You really thought guys were easy? I'm here to tell you that guys can be a major pain in the ass, they don't know what they want, don't want to settle down, have intimacy issues. It's no easier with either sex. Welcome to the world of dating. Its full of disappointment, but you gotta keep going or you will end up a hermit and no you dont want that.

Just keep on trying. Thats what we all have to do :)
 

erratic

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However he later told my friend that I'm "cute. But could b cuter." and basically said that he's not interested.

Well good that he's not interested. Could you imagine being stuck in a relationship with a person who thought that you were cute but could "b cuter"? I'd rather eat a whole mound of elephant shit than put myself through that.

And what kind of friend tells a friend that his date said that? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? You say "He didn't feel the spark" or "He said the chemistry was off" or something else. Anything else. Jesus tittyfucking Christ.

I'm starting to realize that guys are just as annoying as girls, just in different ways and I'm considering becoming a hermit and moving to Asia or something.

If you want to avoid people, you might want to avoid Asia.

But yeah, people are generally pretty annoying. But don't let one dickface and one over-divulging friend of yours dissuade you. There are lots of great guys out there.


I'm only attracted to masculine guys and it seems like dating sites (only place ik where I can meet another guy as I'm not into the gay scene) only have desperate guys or sex feinds. Idk

What sites are you using? Queer dating sites tend to be grouped into two categories: Hook-up sites, and actual dating sites. Hook-up sites come in various flavours of trashiness, while the dating sites have more of the kind of guy it sounds like you're looking for.
 

D_yltg8o7

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Well good that he's not interested. Could you imagine being stuck in a relationship with a person who thought that you were cute but could "b cuter"? I'd rather eat a whole mound of elephant shit than put myself through that.

And what kind of friend tells a friend that his date said that? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? You say "He didn't feel the spark" or "He said the chemistry was off" or something else. Anything else. Jesus tittyfucking Christ.



If you want to avoid people, you might want to avoid Asia.

But yeah, people are generally pretty annoying. But don't let one dickface and one over-divulging friend of yours dissuade you. There are lots of great guys out there.




What sites are you using? Queer dating sites tend to be grouped into two categories: Hook-up sites, and actual dating sites. Hook-up sites come in various flavours of trashiness, while the dating sites have more of the kind of guy it sounds like you're looking for.

Lmfao! The part about Asia just made my day!

And I'm sure there are plenty of awesome guys out there I just have no idea how I will ever get a chance to meet any of them :/.... If you can suggest any dating sites Id b glad to give them a try. I've used okcupid and adam4adam, the second one was definately a mistake and the former I didn't really find anyone I clicked with.
 

erratic

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Honestly, it's been a long time since I used a dating site (I've been hitched for ages now), but are you chatting with people for a while first, or using the site to meet people you're interested in knowing more about, and then meeting them for a trial date? Like, coffee or whatever. I'd suggest trying the latter, because I found a lot more interesting guys that way. I ended up going on lots of first dates with guys I didn't click with, but had just as many with guys I did click with.

The reason I stopped chatting online for days or weeks was that I found myself building up an idea of who I wanted the guy to be - and they can never be that person. It's asking for let-down, that way.
 

pwrdick

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Try investing time in volunteer gorups which have a gay-oriented mission or at events which would attract a few more gays (like LIGLA). If you are physically active, there are also gay group events on Long island for biking, hiking, kyaking. If culture is more your style, plenty of theaters on LI as well as in NYC. We had a home in East Hampton for 12 years, and there was no shortage of events and groups with nice gay guys participating in them. But I am sure there are similar groups elsewhere on the island. Even if you aren't interested in sex, it's also great to friend some like-minded guys who can broaden your social circle. Good luck mate.
 

Alpha704

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"cute but could b cuter"...what a shitty thing to say. You are probably better off without that one.
 

blackbottom2

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Go to Asia by all means but join the French foreign legion or a monastery either way there's bound to be more male companionship or Dick then what your getting now

Forget about prissy queens that come out with comments like could be cuter. Stay away from jerks like that
 
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Phil Ayesho

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Love is tough.

Its laying your heart out there to be trampled on, discarded, ignored, or, in rare instances, cherished.

So toughen the fuck up.

Embrace the pain. Be prepared for the fact that greater joy comes at a price of greater pain... and, really, dating and looking are NOTHING compared to the pain you have in store in any actual relationship.

Even if you found the one in a hundred thousand GREAT relationship... and it lasted the rest of your lives together... it would still be stripped from you by death, your's or theirs.

So recognize that this is the job you're signing on for. Its fraught with emotional peril... but the true relationship warrior does not let the anticipation of pain deter him. He does not armor his heart, nor shrink from the potential of injury.

He braves it, fully willing to be destroyed, if it means winning the greatest companionship and tenderness he will ever know.

You can't win it all without risking it all.
And it only hurts because you care.

It is better to care.