Butt etiquette

[BigA]

Women have you ever been with a guy, having normal sex and he pulls it out and tries to go in the backdoor? He doesn't force it, but he doesn't ask either. He basically assumes its fair until u object? Does this make you mad that he didn't ask first, do you kindly say "not tonight", or is it ok, generally?

 

[snoozan]

Well, many women don't have a lot of experience with anal, and for many of us you have to get us ready for it with lube and play. If I wasn't prepared for it, it would hurt. And then I would be pissed.

Then again, if I were with a partner that knew my body intimately and what he had to do to make it feel good, and we were in the throes of hot sex, it might be fine. By that point I might be begging for it.

If you're not sure, err on the side of caution and ask. Which holds true for all sexual situations.

 

[Ethyl]

Never assume ass play/penetration is ok. Always ask. If she really likes it she'll probably initiate it anyway.

 

[snoozan]

Can we shorten the name of this thread to "buttiquette?" Just because it sounds funny?

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

As the ladies have said, it is not approperiate to assume anal. It is something that needs preperation and sudden penetration is not only painful but probably wont work either.

Anal by invitiation only

 

[Yorkie]

Anal by invitiation only

If you invited a guy and he said ''No thanks'' would you be offended?
It's never appealed to me in the slightest,I've always regarded the back door as ''Exit Only''.
I imagine to the recipient,anal sex must feel like constipation in reverse! :biggrin1:

 

[BigA]

If you invited a guy and he said ''No thanks'' would you be offended?
It's never appealed to me in the slightest,I've always regarded the back door as ''Exit Only''.
I imagine to the recipient,anal sex must feel like constipation in reverse! :biggrin1:

well im obsessed with it lol

 

[BigA]

He pulled out and just kind of "slammed" it in.

Id say that's pretty fucked up. I can't believe u do think so

I would rather rub my cock around the hole as a way of asking.

 

[1hotcookie]

I enjoy anal but usually prefer a little warning. I've had too many times where the guy "slipped" and it can be rather painful. In the heat of the moment though it can be alright.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

If you invited a guy and he said ''No thanks'' would you be offended?
It's never appealed to me in the slightest,I've always regarded the back door as ''Exit Only''.
I imagine to the recipient, anal sex must feel like constipation in reverse! :biggrin1:

I wouldnt invite a guy to give me anal unless he had previously mentioned he liked it or we had talked about it, its not something i would ask for out of the blue and in the heat of the moment.. Personally i think of anal as a higher form of sex, not something i would do with anyone.

That being said i do realise not all guys like anal sex so No, i wouldnt be offended if he refused

 

[Lito]

That being said i do realise not all guys like anal sex so No, i wouldnt be offended if he refused

You bet. I absolutely hate it.

That said, the contrary happened to me once. I was having good sex and the girl I was with just lubed herself, and stuck my cock in her ass... I was pissed beyond belief, although I let it go so I'd have the experience... and it was NOT pleasant, at all.

 

[Doc]

I would have a problem with it. Even though I flirted with the notion of fooling around, I have really reservations with anal sex. And I can't imagine a woman just grabbing my cock and shoving it in. I would seriously think twice about her in general afterwards.

 

[BigA]

no way... i could go without vaginal sex

 

[karmen]

I definately believe a guy should ask first. Since I'm not really into anal sex, I would refuse. Otherwise, I would be pissed beyond all possible belief.

I think I'm a little sensitive because of my first experience with anal sex. Me and this guy were going at it hot and heavey. Slam. Slam. Slam. Next thing I knew, this guy was balls deep in my ass.

The pain was unbearable. I felt faint and sick to my stomach. I struggled to the bathroom to upchuck. Now ladies and gents, that was my first experience with anal.

For those reading this post, I hope that wasn't too much information :biggrin1: .

Hugs and Kisses,

Karmen

 

[Rubenesque]

Would take a brave man to try that with me - how very rude!

I don't like anal anyway, so if some idiot just went for it he'd have plenty of time to regret it while walking home with a standard lamp inserted to the shade up his arse!

 

[karmen]

Would take a brave man to try that with me - how very rude!

I don't like anal anyway, so if some idiot just went for it he'd have plenty of time to regret it while walking home with a standard lamp inserted to the shade up his arse!

It was an "accident". I really never thought that he did it on purpose. But it's funny, an accidental injury hurts just as badly as one done on purpose.

We were just going at it hot and heavy, in the dark and I was laying on my stomach. Ouchie! Ouchie! Ouchie! He had bad aim--really bad aim.

That was the first time we'd ever had sex together so it pretty much ended the relationship.

Hugs and Kisses,

Karmen

 

[hypolimnas]

I would rather rub my cock around the hole as a way of asking.

I agree but there are also people who would like that, and perhaps not much more. Some people are into finger play but I think that it can have limited merit/appeal. (Keep your fingernails very tidy).

I usually follow it up with working on increasing the intensity of physical intimacy, perhaps through more kissing, ear nibbling or flirty eye contact.

[Hmmmmm. Thinking about what seems to happen naturally, and trying to record it so that it makes sense...]

I think, usually with my cock closely in position, I ask (whispering quietly --lol, well, my sexiest quiet whisper--- and tentatively into the other person's ear "would you... (pause) like a little bit more? (add: ear nibble/kiss/intense eye contact/little smile)".

If the answer is affirmative I might ask as some stage "would you like a little or a lot" (still quietly/whispering), and check as things progress that things are feeling ok.

In my view anal sex is special because it is very intimate, and you do need to ensure that there is a lot of intimate, and reassuring (respectful but still sexy) communication.

I've been used as a human dildo often enough in the past. It might even be casual/recreational sex, but no one (well some exceptions here immediately come to mind) likes to be treated as only an object for fucking.

I have posted about anal sex, technique, and intimacy before but I think it is worth making the additional points above. People seems to appreciate a few pointers from time to time.

 

[karmen]

I agree but there are also people who would like that, and perhaps not much more. Some people are into finger play but I think that it can have limited merit/appeal. (Keep your fingernails very tidy).

I usually follow it up with working on increasing the intensity of physical intimacy, perhaps through more kissing, ear nibbling or flirty eye contact.

[Hmmmmm. Thinking about what seems to happen naturally, and trying to record it so that it makes sense...]

I think, usually with my cock closely in position, I ask (whispering quietly --lol, well, my sexiest quiet whisper--- and tentatively into the other person's ear "would you... (pause) like a little bit more? (add: ear nibble/kiss/intense eye contact/little smile)".

If the answer is affirmative I might ask as some stage "would you like a little or a lot" (still quietly/whispering), and check as things progress that things are feeling ok.

In my view anal sex is special because it is very intimate, and you do need to ensure that there is a lot of intimate, and reassuring (respectful but still sexy) communication.

I've been used as a human dildo often enough in the past. It might even be casual/recreational sex, but no one (well some exceptions here immediately come to mind) likes to be treated as only an object for fucking.

I have posted about anal sex, technique, and intimacy before but I think it is worth making the additional points above. People seems to appreciate a few pointers from time to time.

hypolimnas:

I, too, think that anal sex is a very intimate act. It is definately something that I wouldn't even consider unless I felt that I were in a committed relationship.

Since I would be totally into the guy, your approach would make me melt like cold butter on a hot summer's day.

Hugs and Kisses,

Karmen

 

[B_spiker067]

To be crass it really isn't my piece of ass until I bury the flag pole deep in fertile ground and claim it for the king.

Nowhere near appropriate to say just felt like saying it. Half of ass sex for me is being the dominant partner at the moment. It would be great if she liked it but if not submission is good enough.:biggrin1:

Caveat - of course she has to consent.

 

[snoozan]

To be crass it really isn't my piece of ass until I bury the flag pole deep in fertile ground and claim it for the king.

Nowhere near appropriate to say just felt like saying it. Half of ass sex for me is being the dominant partner at the moment. It would be great if she liked it but if not submission is good enough.:biggrin1:

Caveat - of course she has to consent.

You should print this out and show it to everyone you may potentially have sex with and see if you ever get laid again.