Calling it out - respect for women

[LaFemme]

I came across some interesting video ads put out by the government of Victoria in Australia about how men can stick up for women. It’s called the ‘Call it Out’ campaign. I thought it was an excellent way of demonstrating little ways men can be allies with women. What do you think?

A link to the campaign:
Ending Family Violence: Victoria's 10 Year Plan for Change


Sometimes I think men can get away with saying things to each other that women can’t say and get taken seriously.

 

[MickeyLee]

Oh, I like these ads. It's so simple to let another person know you are not okay with their bullshit. You don't have to go all RoadHouse on dude. Just speak ya mind.

Sadly, truth coming from another guy has more weight than the same sentiment from the mouth of womangs.

*waits for the trolls and accusations of "white knighting" to arrive.*

 

[TexanStar]

I came across some interesting video ads put out by the government of Victoria in Australia about how men can stick up for women. It’s called the ‘Call it Out’ campaign. I thought it was an excellent way of demonstrating little ways men can be allies with women. What do you think?

A link to the campaign:
Ending Family Violence: Victoria's 10 Year Plan for Change


Sometimes I think men can get away with saying things to each other that women can’t say and get taken seriously.

I'm glad in the bus example he wasn't super confrontational about it.

Portland train attack

Crazy people are crazy and confronting them directly opens people to an escalation. Obstructing the dude's view was a good strategy, but even the headshake is probably too much.

 

[LaFemme]

Oh, I like these ads. It's so simple to let another person know you are not okay with their bullshit. You don't have to go all RoadHouse on dude. Just speak ya mind.

Sadly, truth coming from another guy has more weight than the same sentiment from the mouth of womangs.

*waits for the trolls and accusations of "white knighting" to arrive.*

White knighting is a ridiculous term. Standing up for another human being is just a good thing to do. Mocking someone for it is childish.

The thing is, if I hear a woman demean her husband, I say something similar - ‘that’s not okay.’ I’m going to speak up for someone else - man, woman, or child. Even if it’s just three little words.

 

[LaFemme]

I'm glad in the bus example he wasn't super confrontational about it.

Portland train attack

Crazy people are crazy and confronting them directly opens people to an escalation. Obstructing the dude's view was a good strategy, but even the headshake is probably too much.

Probably true. But it was a pretty good way of intervening without making a big deal out of it.

 

[TexanStar]

Probably true. But it was a pretty good way of intervening without making a big deal out of it.

The reigning king of intervening w/o making a big deal out of it

 

[LaFemme]

The reigning king of intervening w/o making a big deal out of it

I love that video!

 

[MickeyLee]

I am persnickety that a woman* being followed, and made to feel unsafe to the point of self-defense, on public transportation was completely glossed over.

eta: a much younger and women of color

Chips are nifty.

 

[TexanStar]

I am persnickety that a woman* being followed, and made to feel unsafe to the point of self-defense, on public transportation was completely glossed over..

What do you mean?

 

[LaFemme]

I am persnickety that a woman* being followed, and made to feel unsafe to the point of self-defense, on public transportation was completely glossed over.

eta: a much younger and women of color

Chips are nifty.

It’s kind of a double risk for her, isn’t it? Is it a racial thing or a sexual thing. We had an educational video where if a woman wearing a hijab is being verbally attacked, we should block the view of the harasser and start a conversation with the woman. Keep a side view of the harasser, but keep up a friendly conversation. 99% the harasser will mutter away, but will back down.

 

[MickeyLee]

It’s kind of a double risk for her, isn’t it? Is it a racial thing or a sexual thing. We had an educational video where if a woman wearing a hijab is being verbally attacked, we should block the view of the harasser and start a conversation with the woman. Keep a side view of the harasser, but keep up a friendly conversation. 99% the harasser will mutter away, but will back down.

My nature is to crush up the chips into a blinding crumb-haze to momentarily disorient the subway perv. Before applying sharp, repeated trauma to his genitals.

I can see how to block, and distract is more encouraged for all parties involved.

 

[MisterB]

Great thread @LaFemme. Here's my experience: I have witnessed two very similar episodes of elderly abuse. Both at the same grocery store, 30 years apart. Both by women. Against elder women. Who were using their shopping carts pretty much as walkers, if you will. Yes, they were slow to move. But they were also pretty oblivious to what was going on; they were just trying to still shop for themselves and hold on to some semblance of independence. I get that; I witnessed it firsthand: I had parents and grandparents.

I intervened without any thought both times. I tried the calm approach. I used my inside voice. Got cussed at loudly both times: Fuck you, mind your fucking business. Um, nope, not an acceptable response.

I can modulate my voice; it projects quite well. They got loud-talked. Never skipped a beat or gave either the opportunity for any comeback. What the hell can you say when I, and others, saw you almost knock down these ladies? C'mon now, as I told them both, I am a lot of things, but I am not blind. I saw what you did. And it is not acceptable what you did or to lie about it when confronted. It was not pretty.

I must have embarrassed the both of them with my tirades. Both abusers slunk out of the store, without their purchases, while I continued my verbal annihilation of them both. The entire time they were perp walking. I didn't give a fuck. At all. They both heard how they were such horrible hateful human beings, and that I hoped, IF they were so fortunate to get to that age, they would not meet people like them. And lots of other stuff. I was shaking with rage.

Funny the reaction I got from the bystanders. It surprised me that those nearby were so nonreactive. Thank you for getting involved, they said. My reaction back: Why didn't you speak up? Because we didn't want to get involved. WTF? It took all my self-control each time not to go off again, this time on my fellow shoppers.

So yeah, LaFemme, I'm all about this thread. While I don't go looking for trouble (I'm normally very conflict averse), I'm gonna go off when I see this kinda shit. I hate it!

 

[LaFemme]

Great thread @LaFemme. Here's my experience: I have witnessed two very similar episodes of elderly abuse. Both at the same grocery store, 30 years apart. Both by women. Against elder women. Who were using their shopping carts pretty much as walkers, if you will. Yes, they were slow to move. But they were also pretty oblivious to what was going on; they were just trying to still shop for themselves and hold on to some semblance of independence. I get that; I witnessed it firsthand: I had parents and grandparents.

I intervened without any thought both times. I tried the calm approach. I used my inside voice. Got cussed at loudly both times: Fuck you, mind your fucking business. Um, nope, not an acceptable response.

I can modulate my voice; it projects quite well. They got loud-talked. Never skipped a beat or gave either the opportunity for any comeback. What the hell can you say when I, and others, saw you almost knock down these ladies? C'mon now, as I told them both, I am a lot of things, but I am not blind. I saw what you did. And it is not acceptable what you did or to lie about it when confronted. It was not pretty.

I must have embarrassed the both of them with my tirades. Both abusers slunk out of the store, without their purchases, while I continued my verbal annihilation of them both. The entire time they were perp walking. I didn't give a fuck. At all. They both heard how they were such horrible hateful human beings, and that I hoped, IF they were so fortunate to get to that age, they would not meet people like them. And lots of other stuff. I was shaking with rage.

Funny the reaction I got from the bystanders. It surprised me that those nearby were so nonreactive. Thank you for getting involved, they said. My reaction back: Why didn't you speak up? Because we didn't want to get involved. WTF? It took all my self-control each time not to go off again, this time on my fellow shoppers.

So yeah, LaFemme, I'm all about this thread. While I don't go looking for trouble (I'm normally very conflict averse), I'm gonna go off when I see this kinda shit. I hate it!

Good for you! Anybody can be a bully. Somebody has to stand up and say something. I just hate to see the elderly abused. Can’t stand it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm pretty confrontational. I often doubt I should be involved, but those doubts are easily overcome by simply asking the potentially damaged party, "Are you okay? Is this making you uncomfortable?" I didn't learn this on my own. One of my besties is tiny but tough. She's like a hardened muppet. One night, we saw some men sexually harassing a woman on the subway. My friend marched up to the biggest one, kicked him in the shin with her small, combat ready foot, and shoved him off the train. Suddenly afraid for my dear friend, I chose another and followed suit, shaking like a leaf the whole time. The woman on whose behalf we intervened, she eyed the third coldly and told him it was his stop. We three stared those three down. They delivered a litany of obscenity and I thought they would get back on the train and hurt us. But the third got off, and the doors finally closed. I was reminded that bullies don't like to be confronted.

Here's the truth. I'm terrified every time I physically confront a man in defense of myself or others. My fear can probably be smelled. I get clammy, and I tremble. So I just keep breathing and try to conceal my shaking hands. But I do what I think is best, and needed. You will NOT menace someone weaker than you in my presence. I won't let you. I made myself that promise the night my muppet kicked the shit out of that big guy.

A lot of the time, I just mouth off, hoping I won't have to be violent. Violence is very off-putting and dirty to me. But if my violence becomes necessary, you done fucked up. I have a zero tolerance policy.

 

[At.your.cervix]

It's really no different than sticking up for blacks, Jews, Mexicans, you name it, when they are not being respected for their person-hood. Whenever you don't step in and say "that's not acceptable" in some way, you are actually moving away from what makes you a human being as well. Most small children get this long before they become adults. Unfortunately, many of us learn along the way to turn our backs on this core Truth. As with all other forms of empathic actions they aren't zero-sum solutions, when men stand up for women's human dignity, they increase the dignity for men as well. It is so frustrating that in the 21st century, some men still don't get it.

 

[LaFemme]

It's really no different than sticking up for blacks, Jews, Mexicans, you name it, when they are not being respected for their person-hood. Whenever you don't step in and say "that's not acceptable" in some way, you are actually moving away from what makes you a human being as well. Most small children get this long before they become adults. Unfortunately, many of us learn along the way to turn our backs on this core Truth. As with all other forms of empathic actions they aren't zero-sum solutions, when men stand up for women's human dignity, they increase the dignity for men as well. It is so frustrating that in the 21st century, some men still don't get it.

Absolutely. It doesn’t just benefit the dignity of the woman, but benefits the dignity of the man intervening. It raises everyone up. It can inspire those watching to no longer sit in silence. Acts of intervention can only be of benefit.

 

[Devin J Sizling]

First, we can start by building a woman's self-esteem at home when they are young. My daughter is not going to be a sex toy with the need for a man to treat her poorly. Second, there are so many people who bully anyone they see as less than themselves that we may never get to them all in this lifetime. So pick your battles wisely. Third, I stick up for the underdog in every confrontation and I never do it for something as small as my ego. I do because I am the victim. I will say that some women have begun to take the equal word and replace it with alpha. This is not going to help the cause. Men have earned the lost respect I suppose. But I was not the one who cheated and left home with five children and no child support. I lost visitation and due process with my daughter because the mother said she owns the courts and the system. When I left from the abuse she made sure I would never see her again. Women have been putting stuff on the web bragging about cheating on men in the service of this country and others have bragged about getting knocked up by a 3rd man and quoted it as the trifecta. We are human and as such we make a road that others have to travel on. Don't assume because I am a man that I have broken girls hearts. They have done some damage to me as well and I don't assume you are just like they are. And to be clear, my ego means nothing to me. My self worth does.

 

[AlteredEgo]

All I heard was, "Not all men!" and "victim" blaming, and whataboutisms. Next.

 

[TexanStar]

First, we can start by building a woman's self-esteem at home when they are young. My daughter is not going to be a sex toy with the need for a man to treat her poorly. Second, there are so many people who bully anyone they see as less than themselves that we may never get to them all in this lifetime. So pick your battles wisely. Third, I stick up for the underdog in every confrontation and I never do it for something as small as my ego. I do because I am the victim. I will say that some women have begun to take the equal word and replace it with alpha. This is not going to help the cause. Men have earned the lost respect I suppose. But I was not the one who cheated and left home with five children and no child support. I lost visitation and due process with my daughter because the mother said she owns the courts and the system. When I left from the abuse she made sure I would never see her again. Women have been putting stuff on the web bragging about cheating on men in the service of this country and others have bragged about getting knocked up by a 3rd man and quoted it as the trifecta. We are human and as such we make a road that others have to travel on. Don't assume because I am a man that I have broken girls hearts. They have done some damage to me as well and I don't assume you are just like they are. And to be clear, my ego means nothing to me. My self worth does. View attachment 1154627

Did you read any posts in this thread or you're just responding to the title?

 

[deleted924715]

All I heard was, "Not all men!" and "victim" blaming, and whataboutisms. Next.

A discussion about Womens Issues can literally not take place here without getting hijacked