- Joined
- Jun 11, 2023
- Posts
- 38
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- Location
- Hot Springs, Arkansas, US
- Sexuality
- 100% Gay, 0% Straight
Well it looks like after 38 years together we're going to call it quits and get divorced. For the last couple of years we've grown further and further apart. I have completely moved out of the master bedroom and into the guest room. We are not even room mates at this point. We hardly speak to each other and when we do it usually turns into a fight. I am going to turn 57 at the end of this week. He turned 65 in July. I was 19 years old when we got together in 1985. We both worked very full time our entire time together and mostly had opposite schedules. So, we didn't see each other nearly as much as we do now. I was forced to retire in 2014, because of a bad heart. He just retired 2 years ago. I know everyone changes over time. I think a combination of spending too much time together and us both changing over time has made us incompatible. We each want different things out of the life we have left. I want to work around our place on the yard and home improvements he does not. He wants to travel. I do not. We went to Hawaii, The Netherlands and Belgium last year, I was so glad to be home. We were supposed to go to India this year but I've decided I'm not going. He just applied for his visa to India. I hope a couple of weeks apart will help each of us to put our relationship into perspective. I found out last year he was smoking. He lied and lied about it but the proof was substantial. A pack of cigarettes and lighter in his glove box of his vehicle. We got into a huge argument and he told me I couldn't trust him and that he was going to continue to lie to me. I think that has made me realize that I no longer love him. If I can't trust you, I certainly can't love you. Continually lying means there's no basis to try and build on, in my opinion. I just don't know what to do. I cannot, no, I will not live in an environment where there's no trust and no honesty. In my mind your significant other should be the one person you can, without a doubt, know that no matter what happens they will always have your back. I'm not saying I'm an angel. I have my faults and short comings but hell at least I don't lie to him and I did ALWAYS have his back. Did. I don't know if I would lay down and die for him. In the past if I had been asked if I would take a bullet for him without hesitation the answer would have been, YES! Now, I'd have to think about it before answering. Another aspect is, our lives are so intertwined I don't see how we could ever untangle them from each other. It's going to be a very stress filled time ahead for me.
Thanks for letting me get that out. Now I have to go outside and get a breath of fresh air. Breath,breath....
I've attached one of our wedding photos.
Thanks for letting me get that out. Now I have to go outside and get a breath of fresh air. Breath,breath....
I've attached one of our wedding photos.