Calories Burned During Sex

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by BUSTERHYMAN, Oct 31, 2010.

  1. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Calories Burned During Sex

    REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
    With her consent.................................12 Calories
    Without her consent...........................2,187 Calories

    OPENING HER BRA:
    With both hands.................................. 8 Calories
    With one hand....................................12 Calories
    With your teeth.................................485 Calories

    PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
    With an erection..................................6 Calories
    Without an erection...........................3,315 Calories

    ORGASMS:
    Real........................................112 Calories
    Faked .........................................1,315 Calories

    POST ORGASM:
    Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories
    Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories

    GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
    20-29 years......................................36 Calories
    30-39 years...................................... Calories
    40-49 years..................................... 124 Calories
    50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories
    60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories
    70 and over.........................Impossible, Zero Calories

    DRESSING AFTER SEX
    Calmly..........................................32 Calories
    In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
    With her father knocking at the door..........5,218 Calories
    With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories With her husband knocking at the door..........13,521,000 Calories

    While dodging his bullets..........Depends on if you get away!!!
     
  2. MeHung

    MeHung New Member

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    I never knew SEX could be a good form of exercise... LOL!
     
  3. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Calories burned laughing at the utter stupidity of this joke...............incalculable.
    Error factor of 0.0%
     
  4. BUSTERHYMAN

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  5. BUSTERHYMAN

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    #5 BUSTERHYMAN, Oct 31, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2010
  6. unabear09

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  7. BUSTERHYMAN

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  8. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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