Can a gay man and a straight man have an intimate non sexual relationship?

D_Harry_Crax

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Absolutely, I find I can be more open with my gay buddy than any of my straight friends who obsess over whether every action they make could possibly be misconstrued as "queer". It's draining at times.

Yes, the effort that many straight men put into always monitoring their own "performance"--to make sure that they don't do or say ANYTHING that could be PERCEIVED by ANYONE as POSSIBLY gay--looks exhausting to me.
 

lopo2000

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Maybe being infatuated with your straight friend is kinda an immature thing to experience... At least it happens to me and I know now that I'm not mature enough to have hot straight friends... Will be ready someday...
 

punkboi26

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Is it possible to be so close with each other that there is nothing personal you would be afraid to talk with him about?

I have a mega hetero best friend and he talks to me about everything. We always hug goodbye and we are never all shy around each other. The situation depends more on whether the straight friend is comfortable with his own sexuality to where he doesnt have to worry if he might like something his friend does in a sexual way or whatever. Most if not all insecure straight guys will not hug each other in any way at all much less to hug goodbye everytime we part ways. The insecure straight guys shouldnt worry so much about gay guys. We do not want to have sex with all of you and we are not going to try to rape you. I realize there are probably alot of straight men here that see the ignorance in that last statement but there are many a straight man out there that believes just that sort of thing. That all gay men want to have sex with them because they have a penis. It is simply untrue and quite insulting. The key here is sexual security. It wouldnt be this way if everyone just accepted themselves for who they are.

Yes, it is possible and in fact there are many close straight/gay male friends. I love my friend and would do anything for him and he knows that without any worry that I am going to hit on him or try to make things sexual. I will say to some gay men that become infatuated with a straight friend that you are only torturing yourself and endangering your friendship with that behavior. Those situations can end very badly with one or both getting hurt emotionally and in some cases physically.
My two cents :biggrin1:
 

buzzrider7

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I also have a few straight male friends I'm very tight with. They know I'm into guys and are totally cool with it. They are also very comfortable about their sexuality, and I also am not sexually attracted to them. I think because of these two factors (that I know that they are not into guys and that they know that I'm not into them sexually), we've been able to become very intimate without it ever feeling weird. We have prolonged, tight, loving hugs (that are completely non-sexual) and we can comfortably say that we love each other. These friendships feel like the healthiest relationships I've ever had in my life. Getting to this point of course took time, but now that we're there, it's awesome!
 

JaimeB

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these kinds of friendships work best for me when both of us are in committed relationships, and the chance of the intense feeling turning into sexual activity is the least likely.

i have had friends, both str8 and gay, for whom I felt such a close bond that i could confide in them things i would not confide even to my SO. sometimes, the feelings were intensely sexual, even with str8 guys, but there was no point in getting physical. i've had two str8 friends who told me that they had never felt sexual attraction to another man, but that something about me had made them aware of such feelings for the first time. we could be easy around each other even with that tension in the air, because we understood that neither of us wanted to jeopardize our primary relationship.

others were str8 guys who were interested in the emotional side of being gay, what it felt like. one was a guy who had a gay brother he wanted to reach out to, but who was hurting so bad that he didn't trust him. i think his intense attachment to me was based on his being able to talk to me and share affection with me in the way he couldn't, but longed to, with his own gay brother.

if i feel this kind of close bond with another guy is safe to express, it's hard for me to hold back the love i feel. i think my willingness to express it seems to make forming a bond easier for the other man. hugging and kissing on the cheek and other casual physical contact, even if it's prolonged, seem natural a lot of times, too. for me, tho, kissing a man on the lips is reserved for openly sexual love. that limit helps me define where some boundaries lie.
 

shymichael

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One of my life long friends went through so much confusion during his coming out that he told me that he was in love with me. I didn't want to lose the friendship so told him it was never going to happen but I knew if we stayed friends he would find someone who was also gay and have a different type of connection that was appropriate for his gay feelings. He just needed me to love him past the confusion. I never felt awkward but i have to admit I missed some of our buddy moments that seemed to change after he did. It was a big change for us all. We are still close. I have never been friends in a deep way with someone who was already gay but I haven't been friends with a person from India either, I am sure that in the right circumstances it would be amazing.
 

B_RedDude

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Your friend is really fortunate to have an understanding friend like you.

One of my life long friends went through so much confusion during his coming out that he told me that he was in love with me. I didn't want to lose the friendship so told him it was never going to happen but I knew if we stayed friends he would find someone who was also gay and have a different type of connection that was appropriate for his gay feelings. He just needed me to love him past the confusion. I never felt awkward but i have to admit I missed some of our buddy moments that seemed to change after he did. It was a big change for us all. We are still close. I have never been friends in a deep way with someone who was already gay but I haven't been friends with a person from India either, I am sure that in the right circumstances it would be amazing.
 

KenPaul66

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My best friend from age 13-28 was completely straight and we were the best of friends. He was more my brother, than my actual brother. We slept in the same bed on vacations and swam nude in front of each other in his parent's pool all the time and it was completely non-sexual.
 

goodboygonebad98

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Yes. One of my best friends is straight. I told him i was gay while we watching a foodball game last year. His response "okay so" and we went back to watching football. He is a great guy (and yes he is very hot. If we go out women hit on him and sometimes me) we go out at least once a week and he is a great friend. He even point out cute guys for me. Unfort he is very straight but we like eachother because we are awesome friends to oneanother. So yes a gay guy and a straight guy can be best friends with no sexaul issues.
 

MovingForward

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Yes, I have a straight friend who has become like a brother to me, and intimate yes. He has been my shoulder I have cried on, but sexual no.
 
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can't believe you even asked this question. i guess your mind is just so twisted that you can't even grasp that two people can be close and not be fucking each other.
 

bigballsdaddy

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oh yes!... absolutely!
I'm going to Berlin with my straight colleagues, I go to the gym with my ultra straight friends and we even share naked time together. ok I'm
very laddish but I'm also openly gay and I've never had issues with any of my several straight friends.
Another world is possible, dudes!
 

AndyRodDick

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No, I don't think it's a stupid question at all. And it's kinda sad to see some people saying such question can only come from someone who's ignorant, delusional, a bigot, or whatever.

Yes, it's possible for a straight man and a gay man to have a caring, intimate, non-sexual relationship. My best friend in the world, the one I'd give my right arm (cos I'm right-handed), a kidney, or my entire CD collection if necessary is straight. We show affection for each other with real hugs, not the forced "guy-hugs". We've been there for each other when times got rough and also for the good ones. We haven't seen naked (w/o boxers I mean), and I couldn't care less about that. He's reasonably attractive but I love him like a brother, there's definitely no sexual tension there. He can get a bit squeamish if I get too graphic about gay sex, but I'm slowly getting him "desensitized" :biggrin1:. I haven't had a gay friend at the same level of closeness (I do think two gay men can also have great friendships tho).


Edit: When I came out to him, I was pretty scared, he told me something more or less like "duh". Then we went out for drinks as usual.
 
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musclebare9

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Sure. I had a very close friend that I worked with that was gay. He has since moved out of the area but we still keep in contact. We have had many personal discussions. I don't typically talk about sexual things with friends whether they are straight or gay. Not that it would have been a dividing factor. He had his partner and I had my wife. We did talk about those relationships but never talked about the sexual differences.
 

Smaccoms

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Sure. I had a very close friend that I worked with that was gay. He has since moved out of the area but we still keep in contact. We have had many personal discussions. I don't typically talk about sexual things with friends whether they are straight or gay. Not that it would have been a dividing factor. He had his partner and I had my wife. We did talk about those relationships but never talked about the sexual differences.

I personally think not talking about sex is unnatural. People usually have questions about bilogical functions at some point in their life.
 

Guardian100

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All my male friends are straight, bar one who's bi, which is the complete opposite in highschool. In highschool all my male friends bar one were gay, I hated and I mean hated straight men with a capital H for the one reason they ALL (in my experience up to that time) where complete arses to girls. The way they'd talk about them and treated them made sick, I just ended up looking down on them and ended up in LOADS of fights. Up to that point in my life girls were mostly a source of love and comfort when ever was on my own and lonely (well I say most there always is a handful of exceptions to the rule) and straight men were just sources of pain.


That all changed when I got older, took a long time to trust straight dudes, but one in particular managed to make me much more comfortable, basically managed to help me let go of all the BS I had to put up with in highschool.