Can a three way relationship be sustained?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Quite Irate, Dec 23, 2007.

  1. Quite Irate

    Quite Irate Member

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    Without going into personal details of my own (which I've talked about before), do you think a "meaningful" three way relationship can last?
     
  2. B_blackkid

    B_blackkid New Member

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    Yes, a meaningful multi-person relationship can last; it takes a bit of maturity and wisdom on everyone's part, but overall I don't see why it couldn't.
     
  3. Principessa

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    I could see myself possibly having a brief fling of a few weeks or maybe even a summer in an MMF or MFM. :cool:

    To answer your question I would have to say no; because I tend to be possessive and needy in a relationship. I know there are 2 other people with feelings involved as well; but I can't imagine there would be two men willing to put up with my mood swings long term. Heck, I can't even find one lately. :frown1:

    You seemed so happy when you went to Europe. I don't know what you are going through right now but I hope you all are able to continue having an amicable relationship.

    njqt466
     
  4. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    well said.
     
  5. sammy7

    sammy7 New Member

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    For a long time if all three parties understand each other and are mature about it. i have had several that lasted for 1 year or more, after that, 2 of us went our own way.
     
  6. rooroo

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    I hope so - I would like to be in an MMF triad.
     
  7. sammy7

    sammy7 New Member

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    I have been in several, MMF and they were truly wonderful, guess I am more of a true bisexual.
     
  8. sargon20

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    Because sexual jealousy is a fact of human existance and it's the main reason why they don't work for long.
     
  9. bottombuddy

    bottombuddy Member

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    long term ? NOPE
     
  10. NCbear

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    While in graduate school out of state more than a decade ago, I met the three men who lived next door. I put my foot in my mouth asking the obvious question (hey, I was curious): "Are two of you a couple and the third a friend, or are you three a triple?"

    They laughed and said they were a triple and had been for more than eight years (at that point). Two had begun as a couple. Then, they met the third one, a little younger (not much), and they'd grown to be friends and fuckbuddies (they didn't use that word, but from the hints and blushes, I figured it out). They said their relationship works because there's no competition for affection: Each fulfills a different role and is appreciated for the unique person he is.

    I was amazed and admiring. Now, I wish group marriage (in any possible combination of consenting adults) were legal in this country.

    NCbear (who thinks only minor modifications in current laws could allow for a truly wide variety of cohabitations and/or romances)
     
  11. DC_DEEP

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    Exceptionally well-said, NCBear!

    Yes, they can work over time, but one cannot enter into a poly-relationship expecting it to function the same way as a couple does.
     
  12. B_Swimming Lad

    B_Swimming Lad New Member

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    Not for me. I'm way to selfish to share around.
     
  13. sargon20

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    Eventually I think this is how poly relationships eventually play out. Of course not 100% but most.

    A gay friend told me once he was in the middle of a three way with his BF and called it off right in the middle when he noticed his BF was paying too much attention to the 3rd party. Of course he was right as they eventually split and BF went with the 3rd party.
     
  14. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    I think it's possible, albeit difficult in the current cultural/philosophical climate of this country (and perhaps in Bhutan as well). Is yours not working out, Irate?
     
  15. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    Maybe the BF went with the third party because the third party was more secure and not as jealous and neurotic as your gay friend.
     
  16. DC_DEEP

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    Well, yeah. Being half of a couple is not a good place for an insecure, overly-jealous person. Obviously, a trio would be a very bad plan for someone like that.

    I don't know of any reliable statistics on that sort of thing. Most of the people that I spend any time with, socially, don't jump into that kind of thing casually, so I can't really say that I've seen that many fail. I only know of about 3 or 4 trios, and they are successful, long-term arrangements. Two that I can think of, right offhand, have been in their respective trio relationships since I've known them - over 6 years... and still happily together. One of them is 3 gay men; the other is a straight man and two straight women (they love each other, but not sexually.)
     
  17. sargon20

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    That indeed may be the case but the point being sexual jealousy is real and it takes a very unique level of selflessness to make it work. So unique is the emotion that multi-way relationships rarely work.
     
  18. Quite Irate

    Quite Irate Member

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    RE: NIC and njqt
    My relationship is great. I was just wondering what LPSG thought on three way relationships in general. As a wise man once said, "They said their relationship works because there's no competition for affection: Each fulfills a different role and is appreciated for the unique person he is." :cool:
     
  19. NCbear

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    I'm a wise man now? Amazing. :wink::biggrin1:

    NCbear (who has no idea what gifts he'd bring on January 6th)
     
  20. Damian Johnson

    Damian Johnson New Member

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    No - not in the long run...

    No-one likes to be second best or second choice - everyone wants to be numero uno in a relationship with another person

    Eventually jealously will creep in....
     
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