Can A Woman Go For A Year Without Sex ?

[fuckah]

long story short we haven’t had sex since last year March2020 lockdown...initially she would complain about pains and stuff...it’s sore here it’s sore there she would be happy and laughing all the way come bed time she starts to have ...headache,back pain,leg pain,she is tired,she has an early morning ,she is studying ,she has proposal and meetings tommorow etc but when she was on her period all those issues were non existent...she’d jump into bed all so happy ...I saw a trend and then 3months later she started to invite the kids into the bedroom they would be in there from 8-9pm until 11 o’clock sometimes midnight ...I remember there were nights they would sleep early she would actually wake one up to come “and keep her company “....

I would try my luck and initiate she would blame me for having no Timing ...it’s midnight it’s late ....

During the day she would be nice and give me compliments and tell me how much she appreciates and loves me but at night nothing.
I tried speak to her to the extend that I told her I feel like she is cheating on me.Who is she giving it to if she is not giving it to me.
I’ve tried everything short of raping her ...even recommended toys ....she wants nothing....
I love her.i told her a million times.i need her.can we sort it out.

One of her excuses or rather conditions was I must kiss her good morning ,good bye to work kiss her welcome back and kiss her good night.otherwise I get nothing.
And I realize that all these things hinge on me to get the sex going she seems to assume no responsibility.

She has also said that I have to make her want me...
to quote her from a what’s app message :

“Perhaps you expect too much! You’ll be shocked how many men would love to be in your position. Obviously you must entice me and be affectionate if you ever! Ever want to have sex with me. If it gets boring you’ll never have it! No sex when a woman is turned off!”

It could have all started in 2019 when I had to go home and take care of myself spiritually I spent a couple of months -she knows the spiritual-health problems and she jus wanted me to come back and I jus couldn’t and then 2020 she was funny so I wonder if she didn have an encounter in 2019...her phone and her WhatsApp is locked and she is always on instagram.im a jealous mess and she blames me for it.
I have never had a situation like this before.i have never had to “turn on a woman” I know my foreplay what to eat and what not to eat and what to do and we had never had problems before.

But she has always told me that she can go long without sex.i always told her it’s impossible I don’t know if she is trying to prove me wrong.

Can I please get some advice.

Thanx for reading so far ...I had to rant ...I need to vent..

 

[MickeyLee]

Umm, maybe being Cootie Cloistered with small children and pre-existing relation issues killed off her sex drive.

You seem more interested in the easiest path to panty town rather than why your ladyfriend is avoiding intimacy. For true ask her what she needs/wants in other aspects of y'alls lives. Think councillor not dildos.

Another think do not dismiss her pain. During the day she's busy with work, kids, running the house. Most women will smile and laugh or look happy because we've been trained to since birth. When she goes to bed she gets to drop the smile and feel how she feels.

 

[fuckah]

I am not really even the least interested into going to panty town I’m more worried about the lack of intimacy ....I wanna know what cause ...what would bring a person to put a pillow in the middle of the bed until she is on periods ...I have a good sex drive ...but I’m not sex crazy ... Im more concerned about the relationship ...I have asked and begged and got no answer..I have offered support for whatever I have given gifts ....I have even stopped and ignored her in bed like in the 4th month ....my experience is that when your girl is not giving you she is probably giving someone else or has given someelse ...I have told her I don’t mind ...her companionship means a lot to me ...
But can a woman go for a year without sex ?

 

[Holly Doors]

Only you can solve your personal issues, if it's not working or you want different things move on.

 

[fuckah]

But I do do more than those things ...and sometimes they get sidelined by the fact that by the time she wakes up I been busy preparing breakfast for her and I bring her tea...or blended fruit juice ;house keeping;filled the bathtub for her ...tutoring the kids feeding the dog washing the dog I do all sorts of things ....and I feel like being commanded to dispense kisses in return for ass is a bit unfair -(I think that’s why I’m rebelling with the kids thing )why can’t she kiss me ?.why is it always one way with women ?!? I go to sleep late or get woken up at midnight cos she wants toast 6 out of 7 days a week ...I wash her car ...you’d think
Maybe I stop doing all these things and jus kiss her and get ass ...

 

[fuckah]

I don’t know what my fault is ...so I have apologized and admitted guilt I said :”it’s my fault...atleast write down what I should do to fix the problem “ cos she has since stop talking abut this kiss me in the morning thing and every time I try kiss her I’m not received ...it’s like kissing a stone.

 

[fuckah]

We used to kiss before it was more spontaneous and random it was more heartfelt and wellmeant it was something I wanted to do cos I felt it randomly at that moment ...
But now it’s hard cos it’s scheduled and conditioned ...
It feels fake to me it feels like a chore to me....maybe even a setup for failure too ...

 

[LaFemme]

Of course a woman can go a year without sex. On my own? I could never have sex again and be happy. With a partner? I doubt very much I could do it. So it says more about the relationship than it does about a woman’s ability to do without.

 

[EllieP]

I thought I had the complete opposite situation than the OP. I was the one who was left at the altar so to speak. He was stressing out over the whole business situation, and I took that into consideration.

But the dam did burst eventually.

Sounds like your dam is a bit more reinforced and will take more than the two of your to relieve that pressure. It might be time for a third-party to intervene.

And to answer your question, going a year without sex is definitely possible. I was celibate for almost two years before I met my husband. And I had resigned myself to being without for the rest of my life.

But being in a committed relationship now there are expectations of intimacy, and we expend quite a bit of energy to realize those expectations. But it takes both of us.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Oh gads, the shuttered industry was and is a big issue, here too. Tiny gigs have resumed, my industry is back and running, and I’ve ditched the space holder clients who weren’t working with me.

to @fuckah
Yes, a woman can go without.
As @LaFemme said, it’s different in a relationship.

you say you took a long while away. Leaving her to run a household without you.
Funny thing, once we prove to ourselves we don’t need someone, we remember.

 

[fuckah]

I had to go get treatment I was I’ll....and she knew and experienced it.

Oh gads, the shuttered industry was and is a big issue, here too. Tiny gigs have resumed, my industry is back and running, and I’ve ditched the space holder clients who weren’t working with me.

to @fuckah
Yes, a woman can go without.
As @LaFemme said, it’s different in a relationship.

you say you took a long while away. Leaving her to run a household without you.
Funny thing, once we prove to ourselves we don’t need someone, we remember.

 

[Mittimer]

@fuckah Ok, this may be an inappropriate question to ask, but you opened up the can of worms by giving the small details.

What the hell is "spiritual health" and what exactly is "treatment"?

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I had to go get treatment I was I’ll....and she knew and experienced it.

Keep making excuses for yourself and blaming your wife. That will work out well.

 

[fuckah]

I had to go for alternative medical treatment for my mental health I was having heart problems and sleep problems and mental health problems ....and I couldn’t focus I had hallucinations and nightmares ...and bad thoughts.

i give all and small details cos I genuinely want help.im not trying to be funny or smart.
This isssue in itself is not healthy for me as it is.
What I’m trying to say is are those genuine reasons for kicking a relationship that never had any issues ?!!

@fuckah Ok, this may be an inappropriate question to ask, but you opened up the can of worms by giving the small details.

What the hell is "spiritual health" and what exactly is "treatment"?

 

[fuckah]

No excuses I’m telling you fact...and full info ...so you can help me fully and I’m not being biased ...and I said I’m one of the first posts that I apologized to her for any Indiscretions on my part whatever it is I have done ...I want to fix or apologize for it ....but I get nothing ..:

I’m not saying I’m innocent ....

Keep making excuses for yourself and blaming your wife. That will work out well.

 

[Mittimer]

I had to go for alternative medical treatment for my mental health I was having heart problems and sleep problems and mental health problems ....and I couldn’t focus I had hallucinations and nightmares ...and bad thoughts.

i give all and small details cos I genuinely want help.im not trying to be funny or smart.
This isssue in itself is not healthy for me as it is.
What I’m trying to say is are those genuine reasons for kicking a relationship that never had any issues ?!!

I wouldn't read any of that as spiritual health, that's mental and physical health. If you went to a proper facility to deal with your mental health and saw a doctor for your physical health, then there's nothing wrong with that. If you hid away in a facility that could give you no real help for an an amount of time, that could be a reason for your wife's distance from you. Being left alone with children to take care of by yourself and maintaining a home alone is incredibly difficult, mentally taxing and emotionally draining. Why go home for it? You are home when you are with her. I assume your city has hospitals, therapists, mental health facilities. Why leave?


Yes, it's possible to go without sex for years. Sex isn't a means of survival, simply pleasure.

Your jealousy is your own issue to deal with. Trying to look through her phone just shows a level of distrust that is toxic for any relationship.

Your "kiss for ass" statements really rub me the wrong way. You don't earn sex, you don't deserve sex, you don't pay for sex. Your doing things around the house as an adult, dad and partner don't earn you the ability to fuck your wife.

If you feel you've shown your wife love and effort into your relationship and she's giving nothing, then consider couples therapy. If you can get yourself help, you can get your relationship help.

None of us here can give you more advice than a professional who is trained to give such.

 

[fuckah]

I wouldn't read any of that as spiritual health, that's mental and physical health. If you went to a proper facility to deal with your mental health and saw a doctor for your physical health, then there's nothing wrong with that. If you hid away in a facility that could give you no real help for an an amount of time, that could be a reason for your wife's distance from you. Being left alone with children to take care of by yourself and maintaining a home alone is incredibly difficult, mentally taxing and emotionally draining. Why go home for it? You are home when you are with her. I assume your city has hospitals, therapists, mental health facilities. Why leave?


Yes, it's possible to go without sex for years. Sex isn't a means of survival, simply pleasure.

Your jealousy is your own issue to deal with. Trying to look through her phone just shows a level of distrust that is toxic for any relationship.

Your "kiss for ass" statements really rub me the wrong way. You don't earn sex, you don't deserve sex, you don't pay for sex. Your doing things around the house as an adult, dad and partner don't earn you the ability to fuck your wife.

If you feel you've shown your wife love and effort into your relationship and she's giving nothing, then consider couples therapy. If you can get yourself help, you can get your relationship help.

None of us here can give you more advice than a professional who is trained to give such.

Don’t be rubbed the wrong way she is the one who said :
“If you don’t kiss me good morning and kiss me good bye and kiss me when I come back and kiss me goodnight ..then you will get nothin”

Those are her feminist terms and conditions not mine.

 

[fuckah]

I jus googled and I jus found better unbiased no man bashing answers.
I love this LPSG site it has always been a resource for me for many a querie but I had never thought that I would get man bashed like this while I’m delicate and sincerely looking for answers ..some of you were nice but athe others ....not so nice ...but anyways my fault.i did. It know I was diving into feminist central.
Love yoll though and
Thank you.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

We are getting crossed culturally here. The OP is from South Africa. mental health is often seen as weakness. Think of the US in the 1950s, in that respect.

 

[Mittimer]

We are getting crossed culturally here. The OP is from South Africa. mental health is often seen as weakness. Think of the US in the 1950s, in that respect.

I hadn't looked at his location, but I very much appreciate you pointing that out. It doesn't change most of what I pointed out, but I can understand the taboo nature of mental health help and how it's handled. So, I apologize for that.
_________________________

However, my vibe about this entire thread is now fuck it, as we've been referred to as "man bashing" and I've been told not to feel as I do for how he chose to word something. I'll feel how I choose, that's no big deal if it's unliked.

However, not a single fucking woman in this thread "bashed men" in any capacity.

Just because you don't like or appreciate the input given to you by the women you chose to ask for input from, doesn't mean we're bashing you or men as a whole.

But hey, don't feel that way, oh, wait, maybe I shouldn't tell you how to feel.