Can anyone here relate to this, no one i know in real life can

[twoton]

If she has a boyfriend and is unfaithful then she's not worth getting into a relationship with.

This. It's so easy to get sucked into the orbits of toxic people.

It's one thing if you're 19, 20 years old, in college, and the whole scene is a patchwork of parties and fooling around. After that stage of life it's time to move on and get real.

 

[sangheili90]

I agree with what Ronin said earlier, that getting mixed up with 18-19 year old girls is always going to be drama, and unless your a guy around that age i'd be staying clear, even if they approach you. As for the 28 year old, i'd say that was just bad luck, and it sounds like she is into playing teenage games.

I dont think this is they 'typical', but when you are meeting people in places where this behavior is acceptable, university etc, then its what you'll get.

Better luck next time, and promise we aren't all bad

The younger girls make sense, but the 28 year old is very confusing. When I first approached her I literally walked up to her, said I didn't want to interrupt her workout and asked her what her name was, conversation went on for about 10 minutes. After that when we'd see each other she'd position herself so that I could approach and when I did she'd always act super excited, pretty clear signs of interest. I liked talking to her so when she first mentioned her boyfriend I specifically said that I'd definitely be interested if she was single. After that was when the heavy flirting began so being a guy I went with it. I think she honestly thinks I'm a hot guy and that she finds my attention flattering, but she is in a relationship that obviously sucks or there is something wrong with her lol.

 

[sangheili90]

This. It's so easy to get sucked into the orbits of toxic people.

It's one thing if you're 19, 20 years old, in college, and the whole scene is a patchwork of parties and fooling around. After that stage of life it's time to move on and get real.

I mentioned I'd be interested if she was single because I genuinely enjoyed talking with her. I also didn't run into her all that often, like once per week and sometimes even less often than that, so it wasn't like we were constantly in touch with one another. After asking her out the second time I toned down the flirting and have just been keeping it casual, figured it was best to not totally ignore her and leave a potential door open for the future, though I'm not going to plan on that happening as of yet.

As I mentioned earlier, I think she just thinks I'm a hot guy and likes getting attention from me, as it is flattering to her. However, putting herself into situations like she did and saying how she has no plans is a bit inappropriate given that she is in a relationship. I really shouldn't complain about this, as I'm receiving attention from very attractive women, but I also find this to be very annoying.

 

[sangheili90]

Flirtation and serious dating begin and continue very differently. It sounds as if you really aren't aware of this or other body language signals. Everyone likes validation and flirting is a quick fix. I have a long-term flirtation going with a much older woman my wife and I are good friends with. We will NEVER go beyond this. We flirt in front of our respective spouses and other friends, to the point one friend thinks we have an ongoing affair. We never flirt when we're alone. We love our S O's.

If your intention is a flirtation, continues as before.

If you want a sexual relationship with a woman already in a relationship, be very certain of your ability to deal with a jealous boyfriend/husband, including the ability to dodge fists, knives and bullets.

If you want a real adult relationship with a real, unattached, grown ass woman, start asking their relationship status earlier. There should be a quick transition from flirtation to something more grounded.

Note too that you are approaching an age where many if not most women are already in a relationship. A lot who pay any attention to another guy could be seeking an affair. Into their thirties, women are peaking sexually, where men have peaked at around 18. This is just a general guideline, but the likelihood of encountering a woman who is testing the waters of an affair increases a bit. Just be aware.

The woman at my gym was taking flirtation to a different level, as I mentioned she showed me a hip thrust when I was sitting in front of her, she spreads her legs and starts doing that motion while smiling and laughing with me. Before I left the conversation I put my hand on her leg and tell her I'll see her later. That is a little different than just teasing each other or having a banter back and forth.

 

[halcyondays]

In my experience flirting--even physical flirting--is an unreliable way of telling whether someone is interested. People flirt primarily for the ego kick, not to signal interest.

 

[Gj816]

Dude get puke bag for your Johnson. Under no circumstances would I be having unprotected sex with any of these women. It could cost you for the rest of your life. As you'll find out if you haven't already some women are looking for an income. They'll flirt give you all the pussy you want until they get pregnant. I've seen it happen to a good friend of mine who is now paying child support because the woman told him she was on birth control. She wasn't. But she gets child support from him every wk. Gotta look out for yourself bro. Take it easy enjoy but always use protection regardless of what she says. Not only that but if she's got a boyfriend she's cheating on she'll chest on you too. There's a woman out there that'll be faithful to you just keep looking. Your young yet you've got plenty of time. Enjoy yourself but practice safe sex. In addition to child support you could end up with something you can't get rid of. Just sayin. Don't for get to use protection. Gotta look out for number one.

 

[Lee_M]

The younger girls make sense, but the 28 year old is very confusing. When I first approached her I literally walked up to her, said I didn't want to interrupt her workout and asked her what her name was, conversation went on for about 10 minutes. After that when we'd see each other she'd position herself so that I could approach and when I did she'd always act super excited, pretty clear signs of interest. I liked talking to her so when she first mentioned her boyfriend I specifically said that I'd definitely be interested if she was single. After that was when the heavy flirting began so being a guy I went with it. I think she honestly thinks I'm a hot guy and that she finds my attention flattering, but she is in a relationship that obviously sucks or there is something wrong with her lol.

She's a woman of the verge of 30, so she's looking for attention from whoever s offering it.
If you dont want to be a victim and get hurt, then by "being a guy" you'll need to learn how to say no to women like this.

 

[sangheili90]

Dude get puke bag for your Johnson. Under no circumstances would I be having unprotected sex with any of these women. It could cost you for the rest of your life. As you'll find out if you haven't already some women are looking for an income. They'll flirt give you all the pussy you want until they get pregnant. I've seen it happen to a good friend of mine who is now paying child support because the woman told him she was on birth control. She wasn't. But she gets child support from him every wk. Gotta look out for yourself bro. Take it easy enjoy but always use protection regardless of what she says. Not only that but if she's got a boyfriend she's cheating on she'll chest on you too. There's a woman out there that'll be faithful to you just keep looking. Your young yet you've got plenty of time. Enjoy yourself but practice safe sex. In addition to child support you could end up with something you can't get rid of. Just sayin. Don't for get to use protection. Gotta look out for number one.

Puke bag for my cock, that created a very bad visual that I'll have stuck in my head the rest of the evening lol.

I actually have money, a house that is paid off and a strong financial future so this is something I have considered, hate to see that all go to waste because I got myself involved with the wrong woman. I don't mention it to any of these women but any normal conversation they can probably figure it out relatively quickly given the fact that I spend a good portion of my life in two different states that are on opposite sides of the country.

 

[sangheili90]

She's a woman of the verge of 30, so she's looking for attention from whoever s offering it.
If you dont want to be a victim and get hurt, then by "being a guy" you'll need to learn how to say no to women like this.

This woman works out a lot and is very attractive, she is definitely not lacking attention from men.

 

[sangheili90]

In my experience flirting--even physical flirting--is an unreliable way of telling whether someone is interested. People flirt primarily for the ego kick, not to signal interest.

If you walk up to some random woman she isn't going to flirt with you if she doesn't like you, go to any setting where men approach women they don't know and you will see this very clearly. Women don't touch dudes and encourage an interaction from them if they aren't attracted, common sense.

 

[Lee_M]

This woman works out a lot and is very attractive, she is definitely not lacking attention from men.

She is either either insecure, or a player .. either way that isnt good for you

 

[sangheili90]

She is either either insecure, or a player .. either way that isnt good for you

I can't honestly say, but logically it makes sense why she enjoys attention from me. Tall, fit and handsome dude who approaches you confidently like that is intriguing and very flattering to her. I could be in a relationship and if a total babe popped into my life and she was into me of course I'd flirt with her and enjoy her attention.

 

[sangheili90]

She is either either insecure, or a player .. either way that isnt good for you

I don't know if you are married or in a relationship, but let's say you are. Imagine your celebrity crush starts showing interest in you, goes out of his way to talk to you and asks you out on a date.....of course you'd love every second of it, there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Lee_M]

I don't know if you are married or in a relationship, but let's say you are. Imagine your celebrity crush starts showing interest in you, goes out of his way to talk to you and asks you out on a date.....of course you'd love every second of it, there is nothing wrong with that.

You told her the first time you'd be interested if she was single, but then she kept flirting, so in my opinion there is something wrong with that.

 

[sangheili90]

You told her the first time you'd be interested if she was single, but then she kept flirting, so in my opinion there is something wrong with that.

I honestly don't know what her deal is, at this point everything is speculation. I agree, she really shouldn't have been acting like that after I asked her out the first time given the fact that she is in a relationship. However, at the end of the day when I asked her out again she said that she had to mention her boyfriend. She could have easily have developed amnesia about him and taken me up on my offer, but she opted not to do this. Attention from men validates a woman's attractiveness, getting attention from a 6'4", fit and handsome guy who approaches like that is extremely flattering.

 

[TheRob]

Unless you are just looking just for sex, this is the only important thing in your post.

If she has a boyfriend and is faithful then she's totally unavailable to you and just being a tease. In that case just enjoy it for what it is but realize that it's never going to go beyond flirting.

If she has a boyfriend and is unfaithful then she's not worth getting into a relationship with. If you just want sex then go for it, make sure you use a condom and don't develop any deeper feelings because she's a person you'll never be able to trust

so...I can spot you for next time you do hip thrusts?

this isn't as uncommon as movies would have you believe. the endless storylineof men walking around thrusting our hardons at anything in sight and women always insisting on being in love with their sex partner is as bs as any other stereotype you hear. there are guys like that, but there are girls like that to.

I imagine part of the problem is two of the girls you mentioned are teenagers. legal but still basically childish.

but I agree with Nailz which is the actual reason I quoted her, if the girl is untrustworthy you don't really want her for a relationship and if she is trustworthy she's still a tease which isn't really good either.




but seriously Nailz I can spot you on this right

 

[TheRob]

The woman at my gym was taking flirtation to a different level, as I mentioned she showed me a hip thrust when I was sitting in front of her, she spreads her legs and starts doing that motion while smiling and laughing with me. Before I left the conversation I put my hand on her leg and tell her I'll see her later. That is a little different than just teasing each other or having a banter back and forth.

if it's not sex, it's flirting or teasing so were her hip thrusts onto your dick? if not it was teasing/flirting

you have to consider you were in a gym, I train grappling and I've had girls sit on my face because it's part of grappling, at no point did I think it was an invitation to lick whatever part I found most appealing!
it's about where the stuff is happening
a lot of the other stuff you have said about her I get it she is not acting right, but you hanging everything on these hip thrusts is a bit ridiculous

 

[sangheili90]

if it's not sex, it's flirting or teasing so were her hip thrusts onto your dick? if not it was teasing/flirting

you have to consider you were in a gym, I train grappling and I've had girls sit on my face because it's part of grappling, at no point did I think it was an invitation to lick whatever part I found most appealing!
it's about where the stuff is happening
a lot of the other stuff you have said about her I get it she is not acting right, but you hanging everything on these hip thrusts is a bit ridiculous

A woman isn't going to be showing me an exercise like that whilst I'm sitting right in front of her spread legs and laughing during the whole time, letting me touch her, etc. Women don't behave like this if they aren't attracted to you, wtf lol. She isn't my personal trainer, this is a random woman that I approached at my gym and got to know.

 

[KuronoB]

1. Meet more straight male friends. The events you describe are not super strange, which makes me think your set of straight male friends is too small. Or maybe they're just not experienced either.
2. Since you're working on your degree now, I assume you can join student groups at your university. Join some and try to meet women in the graduate programs. They are more likely to be in relationships, but they are more mature, and they are less likely to waste time with flirting games. Women in STEM programs may appreciate the attention from a tall, attractive guy like yourself, as might women in fields with a lot of gay guys.

 

[sangheili90]

1. Meet more straight male friends. The events you describe are not super strange, which makes me think your set of straight male friends is too small. Or maybe they're just not experienced either.
2. Since you're working on your degree now, I assume you can join student groups at your university. Join some and try to meet women in the graduate programs. They are more likely to be in relationships, but they are more mature, and they are less likely to waste time with flirting games. Women in STEM programs may appreciate the attention from a tall, attractive guy like yourself, as might women in fields with a lot of gay guys.

Not to knock them down or anything, but the dudes I know don't approach random women like I do and are overall average, meaning they don't really stand out in any way. Earlier this summer I decided to work on my cold approach game by practicing at the bars and clubs in my area and one time I brought a guy friend of mine. He noticed throughout the night that a lot of women were checking me out and he started harping about it, think it made him feel kind of uncomfortable or insecure and he ended up leaving early. I was approached by an older woman when he was with me, she was about 45, and that encouraged him to leave right then, after that he wouldn't go out with me. That particular woman was actually really aggressive with me but I wasn't interested in going home with her, though part of me kind of wish I did looking back on it purely for the experience.