Can Asexuality Be Really Complicated?

Arluvil

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I’m 22, and I’ve never really been in a serious relationship. One two week thing in high school doesn’t really count I’d assume. I get asked if I’m gay all the time because I’ve never had a girlfriend, and it’s kinda tiring lol.

But I don’t think I’ve ever really felt sexual attraction, towards anybody. Like there are some girls I’ve had crushes on, but I’ve never had the will to pursue it further. The idea of being romantic with someone always looks fun and sounds fun, but when the time comes, I’m not sure I can reciprocate romantic feelings either. Like I’m apathetic towards it.
Same goes for dudes, I’ve never clicked with a dude, and never felt the need to do anything.

Also I loathe when people touch me, I stiffen up and flinch. Not sure if I could hold hands longer than a few seconds. There’s this girl that’s really into me, and I thought I was sorta into her because out of all the people I’ve met she’s the one whos sparked my interest the most, but as time goes on I feel like I’m wasting her time.

In my head I keep flip-flopping from straight to bi to asexual because the wierd thing is, I’ll jerk it to almost whatever, but majority if the days I don’t even jerk.
 
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Doggyfluff

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Hey mate. So Im getting the sense that you're wondering about if this is 'normal' or what you should be doing. I guess the thing to ask yourself is are you happy with this situation - if you are then thats what matters.
Or, If you're feeling somehow incomplete or unfulfilled, and want to change this way of being, then perhaps it might be worth looking into whats behind this - therapy might be able to help, as its basically self-discovery. It could help you find out if this is a response to something - then if you can unpick that, it might trigger change.
 

marriedasian

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you're 22... c'mon... you don't know anything about life yet... unless you've been mentoring under someone who is 50 years old and successful in life for both the good and the bad, you're most likely clueless to what life has to offer or is even about.

i sense that you are a bit lonely deep inside but unsure of what or who can cure that loneliness and since you don't know what exactly you are missing out on, you're just pointing the blame at anyone else but yourself. your example of the girl who is into you but you're not into her is an example of how you make yourself feel better as a whole.

i'm not calling you out or trying to attack you here. i'm telling you what i see from the few words that you have shared. i've been 22 and i know that feeling of uncertainty and misunderstanding of who you seem to be and unsure of why things are the way they are.

in the off-chance that you are that .01% of people who are the outliers... then there is nothing wrong with being asexual and just being by yourself all the time. not many people can do this and only you can decide for sure if this is the road you want to travel.
 
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