Can fetishes go to far?

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by B_Yeah69, Oct 20, 2010.

  1. B_Yeah69

    B_Yeah69 New Member

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    Well it appears they can go to extremes. Anyone in Canada and probably abroad is familiar with colonel Russell Williams. He had fetishes of breaking and entering, murdered two women and raped them all the while being a high ranking well respected military colonel. Which leads me to ask...are your fetishes taking control of you?

    Here are the links to the Youtube video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBXVlhej3YI

    Here is his wikipedia page:

    David Russell Williams - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
     
  2. B_Yeah69

    B_Yeah69 New Member

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  3. tgirlsrgreat

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    sure they can, primarily when it is not consensual, but i think other stuff can get out of hand quickly too. needs to maintain health standards and i personally think that if pain administration is involved you are getting on the edge. so much can go wrong so quickly.
     
  4. BigrThnSom

    BigrThnSom New Member

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    If it takes control, or becomes detrimental to your life, then yeah its gone too far. Otherwise I would just say they are extreme. For example I like piercings and large insertions.. It has altered my body.. I'd consider that extreme, but since i'm not hurting anyone or myself, its not gone too far. The colonel.. Yeah thats gone too far!
     
  5. DV8

    DV8
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    Agreed. What you like is what you like, and who am I to tell someone that it's wrong. As long as no one gets hurt in the process, no minors are involved, and it's consensual, then it's cool with me- do what you do. The moment it breaks those boundaries, it's a problem.
     
  6. shr1125

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    Autoerotic Asphyxiation; see Carradine, D.

    I would consider that in David Carradine's case, his fetish went a bit too far.
     
  7. B_Yeah69

    B_Yeah69 New Member

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    Yup!
     
  8. B_Yeah69

    B_Yeah69 New Member

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    It amazes me that no one was able to pick up on this Colonel. Where was his wife, he must been freaky in bed and doing crazy stuff that must have had her wondering. Who took those pics of him, looks like someones was standing up shooting the camera at him.
    DAMN, scary shit in this world.
    Why did the colonel have to kill those women, what did he feel by accomplishing that?
    shir, he broke in to their house sniffed some pussy scent on panties layed down on their beds and jerked off. It went a little far, and there is not much explanation for us.
     
  9. petite

    petite New Member

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    Oh, yes they can! I've been reading FetLife and trust me, there's a lot of scary stuff that people do. Things that go too far.

    One of the scariest to me are some of the guys who are into "rape play" because I've read what they write. Their desire to create fear and pain is frightening. There's one married couple who met 8 years ago because they're both into rape fantasies and a few years ago, he started getting into full on "take down" scenes. That's where you actually hunt down and "kidnap" your (consensual) victim (who has articulated specifically what is and isn't on the menu and what the limits are) and take that victim to a location to "rape" them, sometimes with other participants. Public take-downs are dangerous because if someone witnesses it, then the law could get involved and it could get really messy, for "just" fantasy play. Evidently, this woman's husband does this with consensual "victims" whom he has never met before, not just his wife, and he uses the group to meet new "victims." The group is where a lot of "attackers" to meet "victims." His wife wrote that her greatest fear is that something will go wrong someday and her husband will be falsely accused of actual rape. If I were her, I would be afraid that he'd get tired of pretending and abiding by the agreed upon limits and actually just go out and rape someone. Hasn't the past decade that he's been "playing" simply been years and years of practicing how to stalk, kidnap, and rape someone without getting caught? Would she actually be surprised if he disappeared one weekend to "play" and the victim wasn't a consensual volunteer having a fantasy fulfilled?

    He's not the only one there who writes things that are really worrying. There are some incredibly disturbing tales told by people into that sort of play, and I often wonder how many of those guys are attempting to satisfy a monster inside without actually hurting anyone but who might simply be feeding a dangerous desire instead and making that monster hungrier. It scares the hell out of me.

    Don't get me started on some of the "total power exchange slaves" on the site. Wow! You wouldn't believe me.
     
    #9 petite, Oct 21, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2010
  10. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'm not even sure what I want to say to this, but I want to say something, so I'll give it go.

    I think with most of the people into this stuff, it is fantasy and kink that occurs between consenting adults, and that it would never be taken any further. It would be naive to think that it could NEVER get out of hand and that it is NEVER something done by people who would like to do it in reality, but I think those people are vanishingly rare.

    I think most of the time, and for most people engaging in this kind of play, there's nothing more scary about it than there is about any other kind of BDSM (or any kink really). I don't think there is a hidden monster. Just someone who gets off on rough sex and a certain kind of power. And I'm bloody glad there are people who do, or how would I get my fantasies fulfilled :tongue: ?


    I would.
     
  11. JetID

    JetID New Member

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    I like it rough. And CONSENSUAL. It's almost a battle of passion. I'm holding her and pinning her so she can't "get away". Pulling her hair, to bend her neck back, so I can bite the sides of her neck and run my teeth, teasingly over her most vulnerable spots, like arteries.

    I have no desire to hurt her but a "little pain" can be amazing. If she says "Ow! Stop!" I stop, right now. That's not pain in a good way. I dated a girl, for a LOOOOONG time who, in the throes of passion, would bite me, unconsciously. The first time, she saw my chest, the next morning and thought I had injured myself, badly, at work. She seriously had no idea it was from her. The marks were insane! She covered her mouth and stepped away from me and said "No! No! That can't be from me!" I showed her her own teeth marks, in my skin (which was kinda cool, in a forensic, sort of way). Terrible, black and blue and purple bruises all over my chest and the front of my shoulders. If you've ever torn a muscle, that's what they looked like. She was pressing her mouth against me, like she was using my chest to muffle her screams, but then she'd suck my skin into her mouth and bite down, as she screamed and came. I used to worry the police would come :)

    Many women have rape fantasies. Not fantasies of *actually* being raped, but of being "forced" to do things with strange men, over and over or being used. It's one of the most common fantasies, reported, to Masters&Johnson. Multiple, forced partners and rape. Not lit candles and long walks on the beach. Rape.

    Real rape is violence, not sex.

    I think the internet allows people with ANY fantasy, no matter how bizarre, to get together and make it bloom. Not all blooms are good. I can totally see someone who has been fighting their demon for 30 years, getting involved with one of those groups and feeling accepted. That acceptance of them as "normal" might allow them to succumb to their demons. It seems *very* dangerous, to my point of view, but where do you draw the line, in a free society?
     
  12. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Mmmmm . . .


    I used to be on the receiving end of those sorts of bruises regularly. His teeth gave me some of the most fantastic orgasms of my life.


    Yep, this is me. And if the guy who is doing it has a hidden monster, what does that say about me?


    Of course. It's all about consent.
     
  13. Bbucko

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    The colonel is not a fetishist, he's a homicidal maniac. There is a chasm of difference between the two.

    And as much as I agree with consent (my principle criterion, FWIW), there are people who consent to be mutilated or even worse. If both parties can't get up and go to breakfast after the play (at least in theory) rather than the ER, it's a form of sociopathology or a suicidal impulse. These are not fetishes or sexual compulsions, they are signs of mental illness.
     
  14. petite

    petite New Member

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    Oh, I have my own fantasies! I'm right there with you there.

    Good gracious, I didn't know I'd have to defend BDSM and how open minded I am and how I'm not condemning people into it. This thread is about people taking it too far, though, and I'm convinced that there are people like that who end up in the community. How could they not? There have also been a few high profile cases that show that it's true.

    I'm not talking about most of the people into it. There are lots of people on FetLife who abide by SSC and RISK and who abide by the rules of limits and consent and who just like their sex on the edgier side and who don't have any dangerous issues with violence or impulse control problems or with predatory behavior. I have no problem with those people. I'm one of those people.

    I'm not talking about the regular people who are into BDSM or "play rape" so what I wrote before doesn't apply to me or you and everyone into it. I'm talking about the actual scary ones. And there are some guys who are just scary. The ones whose writing gives me the creepy chills, like I'm reading The Silence of the Lambs, the ones who talk about "no limit" fantasy rapes and who look for the "victims" who say that they want a "no limits" kind of rape. The ones who write things that send off warning bells in your brain.

    There are also the ones where I can't tell if they're just foolish and naive and dangerous or predatory and dangerous. The people who say it doesn't feel like it's edgy enough if there are rules to abide by. Those people scare me. They're trying to push the line from non-consensual behavior into technical consent, without an awareness of the literal and actual difference. I don't think that the oxymoron "consensual non-consent" should apply to any rape scenario involving a stranger unless hard limits have been discussed and a lot of care has been put into the actual safety of the participants.

    The women who say that they want to play "victim" and have "no limits" and who say that they want a total stranger to do it, because they want it to feel real, but who have never played these games before also scare me. I think, "Wow, you really might become a victim."

    I guess that's also what scares me about it. Some of the men have really scary rape fantasies, like they're actual rapists who are pretending to be rapists, and some of the "victims" seem like they're too easy to actually victimize.

    I know you would!

    You don't have to explain it to me. I've defended rape fantasies myself in previous threads, and I have my own ravishment fantasies (a term I personally prefer, and now I believe is much more accurate for my fantasies given how extreme some people's actual "rape" fantasies go).

    However, having interacted with the rape fantasists, you cannot convince me that some of them aren't potentially dangerous and possibly potentially predators. That's way too Pollyanna for me after having read what they write...

    It just seems like such an environment is too perfect for someone who does have predatory instincts, doesn't it?

    What about that guy who actually kidnapped a woman and held her as his sex slave for 7 years? Practically everything that he did was stuff people do in consensual BDSM all the time, except he didn't care about consent. He decided that he wanted to keep an actual non-consensual sex slave. There have got to be more of those guys in the BDSM community than just the two mentioned in this thread. I think it would be too easy for a future predator to enter that environment and end up going out of control.

    I was reading a blog by someone in the BDSM scene that was talking about several incidents that he knew of where Doms went too far and definitely crossed the line into rape, specifically anal rape with non-consenting partners during a scene. These aren't rape fantasists specifically, just tops who took topping and the power trip way too far. He was writing his post to address what he said goes unspoken because the community tries so hard to be accepting that no one wants to admit that there are any predators in it, and because people in BDSM have such a hard time with acceptance that acknowledging things like that would undermine efforts for them to not be seen as so deviant, so he felt like people in BDSM try their hardest to downplay any of the negatives and anything bad that happens but he felt that he had to say something about it because bad things do happen more frequently than he was comfortable with.

    And if that stuff happens in general, you can't tell me it doesn't happen with the rape kinksters, that one of them goes off the reservation and actually commits a rape that isn't in a BDSM context?

    I think you probably have a good enough head on your shoulders that you wouldn't end up in a situation where you become the victim of a real life monster.

    I was shocked at how many people in the scene who want to play the really dangerous games who want to totally forgo discussions of limits or safety and things like that, or who even say that there's not enough fear if there's that much trust. I think most people into BDSM are just into more adventurous sex or different kinds of experiences, but it seems like the scene would also attract some people who are very unbalanced.
     
    #14 petite, Oct 24, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2010
  15. Pecker Check

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  16. Pecker Check

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  17. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Understood. I thought it was more one sided than usual coming from you. I should have known you weren't just seeing one side of it, but there's so much negativity out there about it, I think I jump into defensive mode automatically.


    Agreed. There have got to be a few. On a less extreme level you see plenty of so-called 'Doms' who think 'yay, this BDSM stuff means I get to have total control over a chick and she'll do anything I want' and don't get what it's really about at all. They scare me quite enough. But their presence indicates the presence of more extreme forms of the same kind of thinking.


    No limits is fucking terrifying. That means they can literally do ANYTHING and you've given consent. Gives me the heebies.

    OK, my earlier post was a knee-jerk, 'I need to defend it (BDSM and 'play rape') again' reaction. I know the scary types exist. Apologies :redface:


    I agree. Even in my fantasies there is someone I know and trust involved and PRESENT at all times (although I might not know he is present). Once total strangers are involved, logic-brain comes into play.


    It's sort of like having sex without a condom. We might find it more satisfying, but there's enough real risk involved that we should be thinking with our head instead of our genitals.


    I like the term 'consensual rape'. Mine really are 'rape' fantasies, but there definitely needs to be consent . . . and limits . . . and a safety net of some kind.


    I'd like to think so.

    Thank you for writing such an in depth post. You did a fantastic job describing both sides of BDSM and 'consensual rape' (ie. the side I do and the side I DON'T like to think about). It's reminded me that there really are bad sides that should be thought about and talked about, not just pushed aside to a corner of my brain for thinking about only when necessary.
     
  18. tross87

    tross87 Member

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    idk, i think most people like the colonel have split personalities, or something of the sort, and he probably acted normal at home.
     
  19. bigbulgelicker45

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    The only fetishes I probably have are when it comes to a) what type of underwear he's wearing and b) hopefully he's taller than me, but while I was reading the above from Petite an old "date" came back to haunt me which was something I hadn't thought of in years.

    In my early 20's and after getting a good full time job, I placed an ad in the only alternative newspaper we had back then and I was thrilled when the type of guy answered. He lived in Canada and said he'd come to Detroit for a few cocktails. I didn't feel too much of a connection but he seemed okay.

    The venue I chose was one of my favorite hangouts then- a nice piano bar and since it was summer after a few drinks he wanted to take a walk in the park across the street. That should have been the first signal since it wasn't a good part of the city but in the woods there was an upscale subdivision mostly made up of old mansions.

    I told him it wasn't very safe to be wandering around and he suggested we go back to his place in Canada. Okay, I was game and was merely attracted to his height and I'd been over to Windsor many times so I knew my way around or so I thought.

    We get over to his house and he starts serving wine and then after awhile we started making out you know the typical thing. He was laying on top of me and then said he wanted to see my blood and that it would turn him on even more. I remember I quickly sobered up and my mind was racing with all sorts of excuses as to why I had to leave.

    I couldn't get away and nothing seemed to work and I remember he had locked the front door and was telling me that I really needed to see the basement and he said he was going to prepare a bath for me and at this time I was so freaked out I didn't know what to do. No one knew where I was and he pretty much guarded the door.

    The rest is pretty much a blur but how I managed to get out of the house I can't remember but I do remember that I was parked a little down the street and he was still coming after me. I may have made my escape when he was either in the bathroom or in the kitchen but I made sure I made it back home.

    Ironically, he was a criminal defense attorney (or so he said) and maybe a year later I placed another ad and he had responded again. I'm not sure what his deal was I'm just glad to be here today.
     
  20. Tee&A

    Tee&A New Member

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    When I was in the military, female barrack rooms were confined to the first floor, and the males had to live on the second and third floors. Each floor had its own laundry room.

    I have always been a panty snob; I like nice panties and spend quite a bit of money on them. After about a month of living in the barracks I noticed that some of my underwear was disappearing from the dryer. I thought that perhaps it was just a mistake or coincidence until the instances became more frequent. After that, I resorted to drying my really expensive panties in my room by hanging them up or hanging out in the laundry room with a good book while I did my laundry. It was then that I noticed that a dude from another platoon would walk back and forth in front of the laundry room door. The public phone was right next to the laundry room and people would often pace the hallway while waiting to use it, so I didn't think much about it...

    ...That is, until the same dude was caught breaking in the barracks room two doors down from mine a little while after I saw him pacing the laundry room hall. The girl who occupied the room was asleep at the time. By the time she woke up and saw him standing over her bed pulling her comforter back, he already had a pair of her underwear (which he'd taken from her dresser drawer) on his head. He didn't know she was Level 3 Combatives trained though, and she beat the hell out of him before some of us heard the commotion, woke up, came to her room and sat on him until the MP's showed up. The scary part? He had panties stuffed in his pockets and down the front of his own underwear when the cops arrested him. So I (and some other girls) found out what happened to our "missing" underwear.

    I have fetishes myself. I think they can actually be healthy. But when your fetishes branch into illegal behavior, Houston, we have a problem.
     
    #20 Tee&A, Oct 24, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2010
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