Can gay sex be a fetish?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by HyperHulk, May 19, 2008.

  1. HyperHulk

    HyperHulk New Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2007
    Messages:
    883
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Oz
    In another thread, someone commented about how some straight guys have sex with men but won't call themselves gay or bisexual. The poster commented that you almost never hear of a gay guy who has sex with women on the side. So I've been trying to think why so many straight men have sex with guys but don't become gay/bisexual or identify as gay/bisexual. Obviously many don't because of societal or religious pressure or because they don't want to disrupt their family life. However, it seems like something else might be going on. What if sex with men, for some straight guys, is really like a fetish--doing something sexually new and taboo that creates a sexual thrill? Straight guys know women, they spend all their time focused on women, but being with another guy is for them, something completely new and "adventurous". Whereas, for most gay guys, they've had that experience with women or grown up with struggling against heterosexual conformity, so once they get to the gay side and accept, there is nothing really exciting about going back to liking women. There is no real taboo against that unless it is among their own gay friends.

    I know in my own life I like doing adventurous things or trying out new stuff. I live by the theory, try everything once and if you like it, try it again. One time I ate like a vegan for 2 weeks just to see if I could do it, but I wouldn't ever call myself a vegan because I love meat.

    So I've started to wonder, if this is what is going on with some straight guys? It's not about gay identity, but it's the fetish of cock and "man sex" that is isolated to wanting that thrill.

    Can gay sex be a fetish? How do straight guys who have sex with men understand their behavior?
     
  2. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    "Gay sex" can become an obsession, but it's not a fetish. A fetish is a sexual fixation with inanimate objects. Like a shoe fetish, or a leather fetish.

    I'm guessing you refer to my post in that other thread. I'm still going with: straight men are sexually attracted to women, bisexual men are sexually attracted to men and women, gay men are sexually attracted to men, asexual men have no sexual attractions. I still don't buy the concept of straight men having sex with men. And I still don't buy the rationalization that "sexual" means "emotional attraction." Otherwise, the straight guys would be called heteroemotional.
     
  3. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    No, gay sex is not a fetish. Straight men do not have sex with gay men. I know you said to ignore religious upbringing, but the truth is it's not quite cool to be gay or bi in todays society if you are a man. :mad::frown1:
     
  4. Phil Ayesho

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    5,595
    Likes Received:
    884
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Diego
    I think all men CAN have sex with other men, if the conditions are right.
    ( the most important condition being an open mind )

    A man who is horny enough will have sex with a melon.


    Many men are more than willing to fuck a man or get sucked by one and never consider themselves gay or bisexual.
    There is no kissing, no hugging, no love...

    I have known a couple of guys who spent time in prison... and both of them considered themselves straight, dated or lived with women...

    And yet were not averse to getting a blowjob from a guy or buttfucking a guy if it had been a while and they just wanted release.

    And then there are guys like me, who, due to youthful experience beyond my full control, learned to like cock, even though I am naturally attracted only to women.

    It has been over 20 years since I have had sex with a man.
    I am perfectly happy with my wife and have no interest in actually having sex with a man...


    Am I bisexual? OR am I like a 1 week vegan, who has gone back to eating meat?

    Or is it that labels are essentially meaningless when it comes to such a nuanced and complex interaction?

    If men fall along a spectrum of sexual attraction, with every shade of gray between ONLY hetero and ONLY homo... then what?


    Personally, I don't think it matters a tinker's damn.
     
  5. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    No interest? I think that's actually the deciding factor, phil. And the melon comment - not necessarily. I've been pretty damned horny before, but never had sex with an item from the produce section.
    Experimentation is one thing; a continued desire is something else. If I taste a beet, that's experimentation. Whether I acquire the label "beet eater" or "beet hater" depends upon whether or not I like it and wish to continue doing it. Labels are useful, but only if they are accurate. Putting the "straight" label on a bisexual man is useless/meaningless. So is putting the "gay" label on a bisexual man. If a woman is putting the moves on me, it would be meaningless for me to say "no, thank you, I'm unlabeled", and just as meaningless for me to say "no, thanks, I'm straight." But if I say, "no thanks, I'm gay," that actually is useful and meaningful.
    Hmm, I think when they fall in between those spectral ends, that's when we call them "bisexual."
     
  6. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    We should really focus in on the true definition of a fetish, as DC noted. In that instance, gay sex does not qualify.
     
  7. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2006
    Messages:
    24,319
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,179
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States
    fet·ish Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fet-ish, fee-tish] Pronunciation Key - –noun 1.an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency. 2.any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades. 3.Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
     
  8. cocktaste

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,414
    Likes Received:
    13
    Straight men CAN have sex with other men. It's call experimentation. It does not mean you are gay, just as if you are a straight guy who likes the old dildo up the ass.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted