Can gay tendencies mean anything else?

[deleted25502351]

Hi,

I haven’t hooked up with a guy before. I’d say I’m straight but for years I’ve felt my body respond very quickly and intensely to an attractive man, particularly naked and seeing them in porn. Power, passion, ecstasy, orgasm, dominance, submission, love, tenderness, muscles and overall physique I find beautiful. I no longer watch porn because it just fucks with my desires, time, energy and thoughts.

Needless to say I love being a man but sexuality fucks me up. It changes too much. If I don’t have a good woman in my life who I find attractive and likes me back I feel homosexual feelings come on way stronger.

Does this happen because there aren’t women you find attractive available? Or that want you back? Or you just admire other guys more than yourself? Like a low self esteem kind of thing? When I don’t have what I need to feel the top of my game, other guys become my focus, admiring, envying, and eventually desiring.

 

[halcyondays]

Does this happen because there aren’t women you find attractive available?

No. It doesn't happen to me at all for that reason. I am genuinely attracted to both sexes though many more women than men. It's nothing to do with self esteem.

I have to ask a question. Attractive men in porn turn you on. Have you ever been attracted to a man (or men) in real life? Outside of porn? Seems to me this would be a truer test.

Who are these other guys you focus on when not at the top of your game? Porn stars or guys you know in real life?

 

[boredandfit]

It’s interesting, I feel the same way. I love checking out a fit bod, but I don’t find myself wanting to do anything with them as I don’t consider it lust, but more out of envy? Maybe it is a bit of a self esteem thing as I grew up a fat kid and always felt self conscious of it.

Having said that, I wouldn’t overthink it. If you see a hot guy, just go for it and give it a try.

 

[deleted25502351]

No. It doesn't happen to me at all for that reason. I am genuinely attracted to both sexes though many more women than men. It's nothing to do with self esteem.

I have to ask a question. Attractive men in porn turn you on. Have you ever been attracted to a man (or men) in real life? Outside of porn? Seems to me this would be a truer test.

Who are these other guys you focus on when not at the top of your game? Porn stars or guys you know in real life?

Just guys who are fit generally. I look at them and think thats a real man. He looks good, and I instantly think he would be desirable to any woman, maybe some guys too and then i think well maybe I’m reading into a natural male friendship thing by choosing friends that appeal to you. Maybe I’m reading into guys too much and making it sexual because society says it’s acceptable.
I remember finding some dudes at school good Looking and having more personality etc. did i think about kissing and sex then? No. Has it turned more that way since porn and more gays coming out, yes.

 

[deleted25502351]

It’s interesting, I feel the same way. I love checking out a fit bod, but I don’t find myself wanting to do anything with them as I don’t consider it lust, but more out of envy? Maybe it is a bit of a self esteem thing as I grew up a fat kid and always felt self conscious of it.

Having said that, I wouldn’t overthink it. If you see a hot guy, just go for it and give it a try.

Yeah i kinda relate to the self esteem thing. But see, by reading into it i wonder if i saw myself as desirable to women, i might not be struggling with insecurities that make me feel less masculine and have better luck with them. My confidence would naturally attract women. I’d feel less ‘gay’

 

[halcyondays]

I remember finding some dudes at school good Looking and having more personality etc. did i think about kissing and sex then? No. Has it turned more that way since porn and more gays coming out, yes.

Cool. My experience is similar except I wasn't exposed to gay porn in those pre-internet days. I was straight well into school before finding a handful of guys attractive but was unsure I could kiss or have sex with a guy. The idea gradually grew and became more acceptable through college years where more gay guys were out. I finally had sex with a guy for the first time senior year.

BTW if you have to label it attraction to both sexes is bi not gay.

BTW2 women find men desirable based on their social status not by their looks. This is why there's a massive beauty industry for women but almost none for men.

 

[deleted25502351]

Cool. My experience is similar except I wasn't exposed to gay porn in those pre-internet days. I was straight well into school before finding a handful of guys attractive but was unsure I could kiss or have sex with a guy. The idea gradually grew and became more acceptable through college years where more gay guys were out. I finally had sex with a guy for the first time senior year.

BTW if you have to label it attraction to both sexes is bi not gay.

BTW2 women find men desirable based on their social status not by their looks. This is why there's a massive beauty industry for women but almost none for men.

that's interesting. i guess you're right. they do look more at status (money, assets, good job) - i guess the personality to achieve those things comes with it? confidence, assertion, intelligence, dominance.
i think women do pay attention to looks to these days. maybe just not as much as the status / personality thing.
when you say social status? do yo mean more economic? or do you mean how well connected / friends etc.
i tend to think women are more social. i don't have many guys friends at all.

 

[ILoveGames48]

The thing is I’ve seen straight guys have gay tendencies and they’d talk to me about it.. they know I am gay and know what we talk about won’t go no further than us ..

One guy tells me he gets a little rough with his wife but he will walk to work be on streets talking or goi g to store and notice guys let and right .. said he’d think of a guy licking his asshole maybe finger it and suck his cock n balls.. and let him fuck them as hard as he wants to..

I’d ask him if he thought about finding a woman that will let him get rough as he wants and he says found couple women but they don’t do anything with a man’s asshole..

Wanna know what occurred let me know … but…
…….anyhow ..

A lot of it might just be a phase may go away over time then the urges may get stronger..

Crossing the line and being with a guy won’t make you gay or even bisexual unless you go doing men and women then you are bisexual.. I am but I am more into guys though ..

Hope this helped you out

 

[halcyondays]

that's interesting. i guess you're right. they do look more at status (money, assets, good job) - i guess the personality to achieve those things comes with it? confidence, assertion, intelligence, dominance.
i think women do pay attention to looks to these days. maybe just not as much as the status / personality thing.
when you say social status? do yo mean more economic? or do you mean how well connected / friends etc.
i tend to think women are more social. i don't have many guys friends at all.

Yes I mean money. As my mother, aunties, sisters and many other women said over the years, "There's no such thing as an ugly millionaire." Translation: a man's social status is more important than his looks. "Good looks are just a bonus."

Whether it's by work or inheritance it doesn't matter how a guy achieves status. It's THE characteristic women find most attractive in men. Women objectify men on their status (wealth). The ultimate expression of this is the groupie phenomenon where hundreds even thousands of women give themselves to famous, wealthy high status males. Even if a woman doesn't she's fantasizing about it. It's an irresistible instinctive trait. I won't go into the adaptive advantage which drives this instinctual behavior in females of our species.

As mom said, "Nothing sells (attracts) like success."

Men, on the other hand, objectify women on their looks. This is why there's a massive beauty industry for women but almost none for men. I won't go into the adaptive advantage which drives this instinctual behavior in males of our species. Suffice it to say "biology rules" in human mate selection behavior.

 

[Linkguy13]

Hi,

I haven’t hooked up with a guy before. I’d say I’m straight but for years I’ve felt my body respond very quickly and intensely to an attractive man, particularly naked and seeing them in porn. Power, passion, ecstasy, orgasm, dominance, submission, love, tenderness, muscles and overall physique I find beautiful. I no longer watch porn because it just fucks with my desires, time, energy and thoughts.

Needless to say I love being a man but sexuality fucks me up. It changes too much. If I don’t have a good woman in my life who I find attractive and likes me back I feel homosexual feelings come on way stronger.

Does this happen because there aren’t women you find attractive available? Or that want you back? Or you just admire other guys more than yourself? Like a low self esteem kind of thing? When I don’t have what I need to feel the top of my game, other guys become my focus, admiring, envying, and eventually desiring.

No many of my friends have done some stuff that many may call gay but I know they are far from it. For example my friend and military brother that I served with in Iraq kissed me in front of the bar, in front of his girlfriend (now wife) like the French do and grabbed my dick with his hands down my pants. He was joking around in one sense and serious in another. Did he love me? Yes, but as a brother that will always have my back and go through the thickest hell for me. But he doesn't love me like a married couple. Doing what he did showed me he cared for me. Everyone there that saw the kiss knee it was just a kiss without fireworks, but with brotherly love.

I've slapped bare asses in the showers and cop a feel of dicks and it has happened to me as just military jesting and silliness. Watched porn in a room full of men and everyone is masturbating themselves and cheering eachother on when one comes close to climaxing. Shouts when they do. Men can be sexually goofy and still be straight.