Can gays be just friends with str8 guys they like?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Lynx, Feb 9, 2008.

  1. Lynx

    Lynx Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2005
    Messages:
    250
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Switzerland
    I'm sure this has been discussed before, but, is it possible for me to be friends with a straight guy that I like "in that way"... Any advice? Warnings? Tips?
     
  2. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    7,002
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    what way is that?
     
  3. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2006
    Messages:
    24,286
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,152
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States
    Yeah what is "that way"...sounds like you want to "bed" your straight friend......I have many 100% straight male friends and they are just that, good friends....
     
  4. visualalert

    visualalert New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2007
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC, USA
    Depends on how interested you are. I have a number of straight male friends that I have no sexual interest in and we're great buds. But I have had other straight friends that I wanted badly and I was bad at managing liking them "that way." There was one exception in my life (I seduced him over a period of a couple years), but the odds are WAY, WAY against it.

    Now that I'm older & presumably wiser (and less horned up), my suggestion would be - if your straight buddy wouldn't want to be hit on by a guy, remember that your hitting on him feels the same to him as some old fat nasty ugly dude hitting on you feels to you: icky and awkward. It ain't the way to build a friendship.
     
  5. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Big Sur, California
    If you really just want to be friends with him, then just be friends. And DON'T come on to him, or even joke about it -- or even comment on that you think he's good looking. It will irritate him and make him insecure.
     
  6. Lynx

    Lynx Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2005
    Messages:
    250
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Switzerland
    Wow, thanks guys, lots of good advice here!
     
  7. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    I think platonic relationships can he had between and among people. I have many straight and gay friends to whom I am attracted but do not approach.
     
  8. Gonzo3

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,146
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    World wide dudes ,world wide
    ....sure. ....A friend is a friend,straight or gay however as a gay man ,some times you have to rein in your sexual feelings to keep that friendship.I think you have to asck yourself why you realy like him is it just because he is hot ,and you feel you may one day have a chance to explore you feelings further with him? a friend is not always a lover.:smile:
     
  9. sevencirc

    sevencirc Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2008
    Messages:
    275
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new england
    I have had sex with quite a few older married men, some of them friends of mine....little did I know before something happened that they would even be interested. I don't think you ever know how a straight friend will react - everyone's different how they feel. Some of my best friends are 20 years or more my senior and I've never hit on them or tried to....their friendship is way more important. My best friend is 78, very handsome, has a beautiful cock (that I've caught glimpses of at the urinal), a fabulous looking ass no matter what pants he's wearing, and big balls that are evident when he sits down or bends over. There's no one - man or woman - I'd rather have sex with, but above and beyond, he's my best friend and I would never jeopardize our friendship for a potential sucking of his cock. I guess there are some straight guys who might like to experiment, and others who never would. A friend of mine from Florida who is 76 had sex with me (his first time sucking a cock in his life) about two months ago, so there you go. {I've known him for 20 years and never thought he had any interest in me physically. He told me prior to our first "rendez-vous" that he had thought about me way back when we met in the mid-80's.} I gave him a good blowjob and we kissed some and stroked each other's cocks. He enjoyed it a lot and we both look forward to being alone again. He said he'd like to learn more how to suck cock, but did a pretty damn good job on his first try. I don't think we ever know what goes on in the mind of another person. Wish I could read minds!! To be on the safe side, if your friendship really means a lot, exercise a lot of restraint -- it could be met with reciprocity, or indifference and a "flattered but no thanks" response, but the worst scenario of losing a friend could also be the result.

    P.S. -- My best friend I refer to is a great guy: terrific sense of humor, very popular with just about everyone, easy-going....just an extrememly likeable guy. I admit to having very strong feelings for him, and not just because he has a fabulous cba (cock/balls/ass) combination. The enjoyment of the times we spend together is why we have the great bond we do. He is on his second marriage,
    having had three daughters with his first wife. He's been married 23 years to his current wife, and
    I truly doubt he has any interest in me or any other man. I am also good friends with his wife, but never give any indication of a physical interest in him. My greatest friendship I've ever had is the one I have with him....wouldn't trade it for the world.
     
  10. headbang8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    1,272
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Munich (BY, DE)
    I admire men's bodies all the time. Among friends, in business situations, on the street or subway. You just have to be a grown up about it, and not make a sexual advance when it's inappropriate. By "inappropriate", I mean not just in an awkward place or at an awkward time, but to a person whom you know won't want it. You can't fuck everyone you fancy; that's just life.
     
  11. cyberczar

    cyberczar New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2007
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    I don't really understand the point of this question.

    Of course gay guys can be "just friends" with their straight friends. Not all relationships are sexual, doncha know!

    My best-friend is totally straight, married, with 5 kids, and I'm their godfather.
     
  12. Rugbypup

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    3,194
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Must be nice to have a friend, (sob).
     
  13. cklover

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,362
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New England
    Of course! I grew up enjoying the company of hetero buddies. For a few years in my late teens and early 20's, I struggled out of MY closet and demonized them. By the time I was in my mid 20's, I'd sorted it all out. From then on, the only true buddies I've had, at work and in my personal life have been hetero men. I relax and enjoy being with them because there's NO possibility of sex!! No meat market, no questions about what they're into or their emotional needs. They are quite unbothered by other men's homosexuality unless it is aimed at them in some way, although to maintain the kind of masculine respect hetero men MUST maintain, they must posture against gay men when hanging out amongst eachother, scratching, farting, etc...lol...just kidding. The violent, malevolent fag-basher types are a very small minority...they go after women, children, small animals and other easy-to-destroy creatures. BUT, all I'm trying to express is that if you are a gay man, and you like being a man, keep the fuck out of their pants, and some hetero men can be really great buds!
     
  14. cocktaste

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,414
    Likes Received:
    13
    Is this thread for real?
     
  15. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,926
    Likes Received:
    9
    If your friendship is based on liking the straight guy "in that way"...find another friend. However, if you have a strong relationship with this guy based on other things, then yes it is possible. Find someone else who you can have a "in that way" relationship. Don't mix wanting to have sex up with wanting to have a good friend...
     
  16. D_Theophallus Kneedgroin

    D_Theophallus Kneedgroin Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    2,057
    Likes Received:
    0

    Good Friends can't have Good Sex? :eek::eek::eek: oops

    I have a lot of str8 guy friends, not interested in having sex with them....although I think one wants to have sex with me :eek::tongue:
     
  17. dreamer20

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Messages:
    4,492
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    N.Providence
    I have to disagree with you on this point henry. There's nothing wrong with compliments, such as telling a friend they are good looking.
     
  18. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2006
    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I have more straight friends than gay, although I wouldnt mind going to bed with some of them. I would never make any advances, but I might be acceptive to advances I might receive.

    Honestly, I am thankful I am married, otherwise I would be a total ho
     
  19. Lynx

    Lynx Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2005
    Messages:
    250
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Switzerland
    Hi Guys, thanks for the tips! I have read quite a few helpful responses, some of which will help me out, I'm sure. I'd be interested in knowing how the (at least 90%) str8 men here would react if they found out a friend was into them - angry, uncomfortable, flatered, disgusted...?
     
  20. sdbg

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2007
    Messages:
    3,919
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    298
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Diego
    Verified:
    Photo
    I had the hots for a coworker back in the '90s. I kept a poker face the entire time, never flirted with him, never told him, but he knew that I liked him. We were friends for many years. I visited him in summer of 2006. We hung out and got buzzed off some wine one afternoon. I said more than I should have, and now we don't have much to say to each other.

    The moral of the story and my recommendation: Keep your friend your friend. If he knows that you're gay, he'll approach you if he is interested or curious. It's better to find a gay guy for an intimate relationship instead of trying to convert a straight guy.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted