Can straight & gay men truly be just friends?

[john smithy]

Bit like When Harry Met Sally...

Can a straight and gay guy just be friends or will the straight guy always be thinking "he wants me."

Thoughts?

To be candid - I have a crush on a straight pal, but 1) I'm in a committed relationship so nothing will happen and 2) He's straight

Problem is - I do fancy him, but I wouldn't ever act on it. I just don't want him feeling awkward so I'll just pretend I don't fancy him. Does that sound OK? I feel like being honest in this situation would make things worse and it's quite a new friendship so I don't want to lose one of my only straight mates. Besides there's nothing to gain from telling him he's attractive - surely someone would only be honest about that if they DID want something to happen, no?

 

[Tosantos]

Of course! I have gay friends and we just chat and hang out like normal mates do.
They have complimented me on my looks in the past. Nothing wrong with that, didn't mean they wanted me or anything like that. Was just compliments.

 

[Ponto]

Well, I can't really say as I have no male friends, I know a lot of men, straight, gay and bi, but they are not my friends. If I did have a gay friend it would not matter to me even if he fancied me. I fancy lots of people, women, but I will never be able to do anything more about it, I am having a difficult time just keeping my five FWBs going without getting into hot water. I have to say the gay men in my town are rather awful, not because they are gay, they are just awful people. The lesbians are even worse. I am sure they don't fancy me, though some of the gay men do, but it is a hopeless case for them to try anything. Luckily most have partners, some of whom also fancy me. I don't see them much unless I go to one of the in eating places or pubs and I don't very often. One of the gay blokes has been trying to get elected to the Northern Territory government, but he hasn't a hope. He used to run a tourist B & B for gay men called Rainbow connection or something like that. I don't think he fancied me but his partner did. Yes I live in a small town, I know lots of people and their sexual preference even people I have never met.

 

[Hatt_101]

This sounds more like can YOU just be friends with a straight man.

Obviously straight and gay men can be friends. I doubt every gay man is attracted to all straight men. And it's not like anything would happen even if the gay man was attracted

It's like asking if straight men and lesbians can be friends.

The only way a question like this would be valid is if the attraction was mutual which is why people say can men and women really be friends (in this situation both are straight) even then I'd still say that they can be

 

[Jujurice]

Yup w/o a doubt; one of my oldest friends came out in high school. We still do the same things and are gym buddies when we have time. I have been naked with him more then I have been with my wife. We have had countless opurtunities to hook up but we are like brothers so it’ll never happen.

 

[GoingOnABoeing]

Yeah. No problem.

 

[ronin001]

Women, have a kind of 6th sense about who their men / man finds attractive sexually. Sort of like who among their friends does her guy have a secret crush on, who they should watch out for etc. It is that extra glance, that extra smile, that extra friendliness, that extra attention a guy pays to one of her girl friends that gives t away. Not that anything would ever happen; but Presuming that Gay men are just as intelligent as Straight Woman you are probably giving off signals of your crush just a matter of time till your BF picks up on them

 

[fratjoc8c]

I can be a friend to a man who has a great personality gay, bi, or hetero, although I'm not attracted to all men.

 

[gma26_4521]

Of course we can be friends. I am not phobic in the least. And just like with a woman, there could be an attraction talked about, but not acted on because of the friendship. As you know being lovers is a different dynamic totally. So on a friendship basis, absolutely. And me personally, I would not be offended at all if you complimented me or talked about attraction, because we are friends.

 

[PeterGold]

Weird question! Off course! I have a gay friend, and we are not in anyway close to doing something. He is good with electricity, and one time he helped me with a lamp. I was holding the ladder, and then told him that this was the closest hist crotch would ever get to my face! We both laughed, and I think that it is important just to acknowledge eachothers differences, withother being prejudice. Ease up!

 

[southeastone]

As above this is more about the OP than the question in general, of course a gay and a straight man can be friends just as a straight man and woman can be, sex does not come into it. I have women friends and gay male friends and I would compliment them on their appearance, don't let sexual attraction get mixed up with the attraction of similar souls in friendship.

 

[At.your.cervix]

I have tons of gay and lesbian friends. And our friendship is the same as between my straight male and female friends. I'll confess that on occasion my innate horniness has caused me to think of some of my female friends in a sexual way, but I also know that in those times if I saw a donut I'd probably be thinking nasty thoughts about expanding the size of its hole as well. You just have to remind yourself about all of the deep joys which that friendship provides, and how likely attempting to sexualize that relationship would just kill the friendship. You needn't deny the attraction to yourself, as that always leads to trouble, but just accept it along with the sensible limitations which you need to couple to that attraction, as you seem to have been already doing.

 

[Peter Brown II]

Of course, no problem.
I have gay friends and family.
Also gay people have a taste
I also dont want to have sex with all of my girls friends....

 

[techpump]

For sure. I am! I have several gay friends and colleagues and they've never hit on me like "hey wanna fuck?!" or get personal about my sexuality or sex life. So I'd say yes, it's extremely possible!

 

[Crowe]

Yes of course, I mean I consider myself straight and I can befriend females too. I don't see a problem.
I've got many bi or gay friends and I've never ever thought "he wants me". It's something that doesn't come to my mind.

 

[verybored]

Yes. In the same manner a straight guy and a straight girl can be friends. Just because someone is attracted to people the same gender as you doesn't mean they are attracted to you specifically.

 

[Leakingpre247]

Absolutely. I think several women I know are hot, but I dont need to tell them either. One in particular has the hottest legs and perfect tits, and they get me hard, but I dont want to fuck her. Shes my friend. Are you attracted to him as a person, or just like his body and face? "Fancy" can mean several things.

Is it something where he knows u r gay and u can tell him "you r such a great person. You r attractive, intelligent, and totally fit. Your girlfriend is lucky." Or is it more like you r just sexually attracted to him more than ur current boyfriend and you need to focus on boyfriend more? Not meaning to be rude, just wondering if your dick is talking and not your brain. Ya know?

Qualities in friends we can see ourselves with can be very dangerous for both sides if acted upon. Meaning, it can ruin a marriage when someone cheats because they got too intimately close to someone else, or in ur situation, ruin friendship w ur straight mate if u tell him u want him to do x, y, or z to you. It can freak people out. Enter awkwardness.

He prob knows he is attractive. As a gay guy he prob knows u know he is attractive. Hell, we ALL know when a guy is attractive. My advice wld be to be careful of infatuation setting in as ot could cause a wedge between u and ur BF.

Sure, let him know he is a great guy and women and even men thinks he is a catch and a half. Sometimes flattery and compliments are wonderful to hear. But I wouldnt say "Your ass would look better with my dick in it." AWKWARD!!

 

[905339]

This sounds more like can YOU just be friends with a straight man.

 

[Leakingpre247]

Sincere apologies for hijacking the "Ask a Straight Man" thread and providing unsolicited advice

I always enjoy opinions of others. I don't care what nationality, gender, race, or sexual preference a person has.

 

[TexanStar]

Bit like When Harry Met Sally...

Can a straight and gay guy just be friends or will the straight guy always be thinking "he wants me."

Sir Patrick Stewart marries, Sir Ian McKellen officiates