Can straight & gay men truly be just friends?

[bkmuscledad]

Absolutely. Having had a truly great gay friend for years, I love him for his integrity, honesty, loyalty. He's even very good looking, but I don't see him in that way. He's like my brother.

 

[phillipeantony]

95% of my guy friends are straight and there’s never been any awkwardness, if anything they seem to be able to open up more to me than they do to their other “bros”

 

[bigto93]

Buddy of mine is gay, we have no issues. I’m my group of friends, we all hang out, go for drinks, go away for a weekend once in a while, it’s not a big deal.

 

[boatnik]

Having lived and worked in San Francisco for many years, I have had many gay friends, business associates, employees, acquaintances, etc. I've had a lot of great relationships with wonderful, intelligent, fun, creative and kind people through the years without any thought about their sexual orientation,or gender, or race. Nice people are nice people, no matter what.

 

[goander]

Absolutely. I have gay employees and we get along great.

 

[deleted1124838]

Gosh yes. Just respect each others boundaries and orientations. Like "who makes these rules?"

 

[Buddie]

This sounds more like can YOU just be friends with a straight man.

Obviously straight and gay men can be friends. I doubt every gay man is attracted to all straight men. And it's not like anything would happen even if the gay man was attracted

It's like asking if straight men and lesbians can be friends.

The only way a question like this would be valid is if the attraction was mutual which is why people say can men and women really be friends (in this situation both are straight) even then I'd still say that they can be

I like your answer to to john smithy, well said

 

[cofrader]

I like your answer to to john smithy, well said

Buddie use the like button, no need to revive and old thread.
Are you straight? The “...swollen cock.. numb” message on your profile it’s kinda odd except for an urologist

 

[Buddie]

Buddie use the like button, no need to revive and old thread.
Are you straight? The “...swollen cock.. numb” message on your profile it’s kinda odd except for an urologist

Why can’t a straight guy and a gay guy can’t be friends?

 

[Buddie]

I've had several gay friends, especially in college. I guess that comes with the territory in the arts. They respected my boundaries, and in some ways it was better because there was no sense of competing against each other. Plus, gay guys tend to be better about sensing needs and addressing emotions. I found it easier to talk honestly with them.

Now I'm in a different area with fewer opportunities for socialization and friendship, with gay or straight guys. I'd welcome another friendship like that.

Nice attitude towards life

 

[cofrader]

Why can’t a straight guy and a gay guy can’t be friends?

Depends on the maturity of the gay guy since there is no sexual interest from the straight guy.
Now this is ask straight and only straight or the op can answer, there is no percentage on your profile so honestly: are you straight?

 

[Bayslap2]

Unpopular opinion. No they cannot be friends. Straight men have a long history of violence against gay men. Straight men are the most common enemy of gay men because they are the most common perpetrators of hate crimes against gay men. Never had a straight male friend. I grew up around straight guys and they all hated gay guys. Straight guys would bully all the gay guys, harass them and humiliate them. If you even remotely looked gay, they would make you a target of violence. Back then, straight guys didn’t have gay male friends. It was unthinkable.

 

[mako shark]

A confident straight guy has no problem having gay friends male or female.
Bullies are always the one's that have confidence issues but they compensate by picking on everyone else.

 

[cofrader]

Unpopular opinion. No they cannot be friends. Straight men have a long history of violence against gay men. Straight men are the most common enemy of gay men because they are the most common perpetrators of hate crimes against gay men. Never had a straight male friend. I grew up around straight guys and they all hated gay guys. Straight guys would bully all the gay guys, harass them and humiliate them. If you even remotely looked gay, they would make you a target of violence. Back then, straight guys didn’t have gay male friends. It was unthinkable.

This is ask straight so you are putting yourself on the perpetrator place or you didn’t follow the rules.
I was bullied for gay on school I was straight back then and still am.
I suspect one of your bullies was overcompensating, putting what he considered his flaws on others to be popular. Anything different was bullied on school.
Even a new girl who had beautiful trails was called dirty and stinky by the girls behind her back.
On high school one of our companion was flamboyantly gay he was constantly hitting the tallest men of the room touching their body and making propositions.
Somehow I spend a group vacation with him he was friend of a friend funny thing was he had more success with woman’s than I did.
I wouldn’t have been friend with him I felt his energy was too high and kinda tired me.
One theater companion was gay and you wouldn’t tell he is, he has long term relationships I would be friend with him with no effort we changed groups and we don’t see each other but it’s a great person.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Unpopular opinion. No they cannot be friends. Straight men have a long history of violence against gay men. Straight men are the most common enemy of gay men because they are the most common perpetrators of hate crimes against gay men. Never had a straight male friend. I grew up around straight guys and they all hated gay guys. Straight guys would bully all the gay guys, harass them and humiliate them. If you even remotely looked gay, they would make you a target of violence. Back then, straight guys didn’t have gay male friends. It was unthinkable.

Back then, women didn't vote and black people were sent to the back of the bus. Times change, and people change. Even back then, not every straight man was homophobic.

Yes, they can be friends. I have straight, bi, asexual, and gay friends.

I have friends whose sexual orientation is unknown. I don't care, because I don't need to know in order to be friends with people.

I'm truly sorry that your experience was as you described. But please don't assume yours is a universal experience.

 

[GoingOnABoeing]

Unpopular opinion. No they cannot be friends. Straight men have a long history of violence against gay men. Straight men are the most common enemy of gay men because they are the most common perpetrators of hate crimes against gay men. Never had a straight male friend. I grew up around straight guys and they all hated gay guys. Straight guys would bully all the gay guys, harass them and humiliate them. If you even remotely looked gay, they would make you a target of violence. Back then, straight guys didn’t have gay male friends. It was unthinkable.

It's unfortunate you feel that way and don't seem willing to entertain the idea that not every straight guy is alike. It's not a good idea to paint everyone with such a broad brush. That would be like a straight guy thinking every gay man acts like Mitchell and Cam on Modern Family. That isn't the case in real life. The friends I have that are guy, I never knew until they told me. And it didn't change anything. We're friends because we like each other and have similar interests. There are lots of gay pilots in the aviation community. I have several gay friends that are pilots I've flown with. Small plane cockpits have less room than the front seats of your typical car. Even with them being right on top of me I've never felt the urge to harm them. Something you apparently think is inherent in my nature as a straight male. You are missing out in life if you exclude certain groups of people.

 

[1078791]

It looks like my comment has been removed, and after being called for it, I reread what I wrote and I agree it should have been removed. I’m sorry, I should not have been bashing with a blanket statement toward a group of people.

 

[Jjz1109]

Of course. I worked with a guy on my first job right out of college with whom we had a mutual friend, a woman, come tell me he was gay. I said “and?” She said he asked her to tell me since he was afraid to himself. I went up to him the same day and said “hey, Janet spoke to me. What’s the big deal?” A look came over him as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders. I felt for him, because I think he was slowly coming out to people he wanted to know. This was many years ago, and things have certainly improved, I would assume.

There were never any uncomfortable moments. I wasn’t his type, and he wasn’t mine!

 

[Buddie]

Of course. I worked with a guy on my first job right out of college with whom we had a mutual friend, a woman, come tell me he was gay. I said “and?” She said he asked her to tell me since he was afraid to himself. I went up to him the same day and said “hey, Janet spoke to me. What’s the big deal?” A look came over him as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders. I felt for him, because I think he was slowly coming out to people he wanted to know. This was many years ago, and things have certainly improved, I would assume.

There were never any uncomfortable moments. I wasn’t his type, and he wasn’t mine!

I like your attitude how you did, I seen back in the 1980’s if a person was gay in a work place they ostracized him.

 

[thickcockjames]

Bit like When Harry Met Sally...

Can a straight and gay guy just be friends or will the straight guy always be thinking "he wants me."

Thoughts?

To be candid - I have a crush on a straight pal, but 1) I'm in a committed relationship so nothing will happen and 2) He's straight

Problem is - I do fancy him, but I wouldn't ever act on it. I just don't want him feeling awkward so I'll just pretend I don't fancy him. Does that sound OK? I feel like being honest in this situation would make things worse and it's quite a new friendship so I don't want to lose one of my only straight mates. Besides there's nothing to gain from telling him he's attractive - surely someone would only be honest about that if they DID want something to happen, no?

Can a gay man and a straight man be friends? I just asked a room full of my gay friends, and we all said yes. haha. With any friendship where the possibility of attraction is there, open and honest communication is the way to go in my opinion.

One of my gay friends told me he was attracted to me, and wished I were gay. I said, thanks, that's flattering. Finding someone attractive isn't a crime, it's not offensive. I have friends who are girls, many of them I find very attractive, and they know this because I tell them. Does it mean my world will be over if we don't date, or nothing comes of it? No.

I understand, that there is certainly a number of straight men in the world who do not look at certain things like I do. And I understand that there is the unfortunate possibility of your friendship being broken if you tell him. To that, I say, if he can't handle it, then...meh. His insecurity is not your problem. Now, you could get to know him a bit better and find out what kind of person he is and how he'd react to such a proclamation, just to be on the safe side. But to me, telling someone you find them attractive is no big deal.