Can straight guys benefit from having a deep friendship with a gay or bi guy?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_theaussieone, May 1, 2011.

  1. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

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    I dont believe in labels when it comes to sexuality, i dont even think most people are 100% gay or straight. I personally like guys and women, some times i like women, sometimes i like men.

    Now i have a friendship with a straight conservative christian guy and he knows about my preferences and we often talk about sex, i'm particularly very open to the point of me describing in great detail what i like and what i do. Think of a very descriptive erotica novel.

    My friend seems to have opened up alot with me and i think ive made him less prudish and ashamed of sex as a result. Has this happened with other 'straight-gay/bi' friendships?
     
  2. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I don't know about the "conservative christian" aspects of your friend, but yes, any of us can benefit from any relationship which is deep and meaningful. I'm thinking that you are fortunate to have each other.
     
  3. sykray

    sykray Active Member

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    Totally agree with Jon. Good quality relationships with as wide a range of people as possible is bound bring benefits to all of those involved.
     
  4. BJs4You IL

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    I have a very close friendship with a straight guy, and he is also a very conservative Catholic. He is pretty open to me, but our conversations don't generally get into alot of detail sexually, either with mine or his with his girlfriend. But beyond that, I'd say he's definitely one of the best friends I've ever had.
     
  5. exwhyzee

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    I think any friendship can open new ideas and offer valuable insights and perspectives, not just about sexuality but in all other topics.

    Generally speaking, human intercourse (exchange of ideas and viewpoints) is a good thing.

    I have had several friends who are straight, and some of them have grown along with me in my understanding of human sexuality and relationships. Sometimes, however, it seems as many "grow" in the opposite direction as well...
     
  6. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    If your friend is regularly having sexual relations with his girlfriend, he is not a conservative Catholic.

     
  7. NumberTwentySix

    NumberTwentySix New Member

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    theaussieone, I would very much like to know; what has he taught you?

    From my perspective; of course people can benefit from having a deep friendship, with anybody, and talking about sex with close friends can be enlightening or weird. It depends.

    Can gay guys benefit from having a deep friendship with a very conservative or religious guy?
     
    #7 NumberTwentySix, May 1, 2011
    Last edited: May 1, 2011
  8. BJs4You IL

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    well, I meant that we don't talk about sexual experiences, so I really don't know if there are any experiences with his gf that he could talk about if we did. As far as I know his conservative Catholicism is intact. My main point was that we are very close friends, but we don't talk about sex itself.
     
  9. chillWEguy81

    chillWEguy81 New Member

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    Oh please. You clearly haven't met many Catholics then.
     
  10. Pierced1953

    Pierced1953 New Member

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    I don't think it ever changed anything about sex but I know I have benefited from several friendships, some straight, some gay.
     
  11. tapanther

    tapanther New Member

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    I guess it depends a lot on what you mean by "benefit". Any close relationship is beneficial in some ways. You get someone who cares about you and is willing to help, you care about the other person, you make each other happy, etc. One other benefit I would claim that is exclusive to gay/straight friendships, particularly where the straight person, whether by choice or ignorance is biased, it serves to destroy those biases. You can't turn to someone you've known for years and know to be a good person and claim that they're trying to destroy society and should have no rights. The direct benefit is for gays in general, but there are indirect benefits to the straight man as well; it can turn around an irrational fear or hatred, make them more comfortable with gays in general, and overall make them better people more willing to stand up for others. I had 3 very religious friends who had never personally known a gay guy, and they bought into a lot of the hysteria that all gay men are perverts etc. They even helped run a "Yes on 8" campaign (Prop 8 being the CA ballot initiative that killed gay marriage in CA) in high school. After I came out to them, it shattered a lot of those biased beliefs. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I'm one of the nicest and most decent people they knew, and I'd often go well out of my way to help people. One of them still has generally anti-gay views, but the other 2 completely turned around. While they feel ashamed of what they did, they've both told me they're very glad that "someone stopped [them] from fucking up again".
     
  12. athleticguy

    athleticguy New Member

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    In my experience, so many people grow up and live their lives without knowing gay people. My best mate is straight, and we have a proper good relationship, a kinda bromance. He always finds it interesting talking about male sexuality, and he's often said it's rubbished a lot of stereotypes, assumptions etc he had.

    He recently cheated on his gf - he'd had this long term fling with a little blonde thing - and when they were rowing, his gf actually asked if he'd been having a thing with me! Even though he's a Crystal Palace fan, wears Fred Perry, very 'essex boy', we still have a bit of a cuddle when we're drunk :D
     
  13. dirrtyminded

    dirrtyminded Member

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    As long as its a positive and supportive relationship, the sexuality of the persons involved is irrelevant. I have a few bi-female friends and gay friends/co-workers that I love to death, so I see little to no problem.
    I am not gay by choice, but I try to respect their lifestyles in the same way that they respect mine and we're fine. Any issues that arise are from outside sources.
     
  14. Gecko4lif

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    I dont see how it would be any different then having a deep relationship with a straight guy in regards to how it benefits them
     
  15. Eris

    Eris Member

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    At the very least you might get a fresh perspective on some things you take for granted.
     
  16. Gecko4lif

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    Hmm... I suppose that is a valid point.
     
  17. NEWREBA

    NEWREBA New Member

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    I think the straight guys who are open-minded may be able to, but the majority...absolutely not. Just my experience so far from the straight guys I know. I wish it weren't so.
     
  18. B_Marius567

    B_Marius567 New Member

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    i had some gay friends but never had sex with them i am to shy.
     
  19. SprinkleMe69

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    As my mom has taught me, see people for people and not a label or category. You never know who your friends can turn out to be. I've had straight friends turn out to be 100% gay and that didn't make them no longer worthy of my friendship.
     
  20. CUBE

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    Gay guy and straight guy friendship is the ideal. Got each others back, can be emotionally close without worried it is close, and not in competition with the other. Dream friendship to me.
     
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