Can two people just sleep together these days and it NOT be about sex ?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by WellHung83, May 2, 2007.

  1. WellHung83

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    I'm rewatching Friends on dvd right now, and I'm at this episode where Ross and Joey 'accidentally' end up sleeping cuddled up together, and when they wake up much to their surprise, had a great sleep because of it. So through the whole episode they are both sneaking off to 'sleep' together, because they felt safe I guess and the affection they recieved while sleeping helped them sleep better. Had a cute and funny ending with the rest of the gang watching them both sleeping curled up together on the couch, then both Ross and Joey trying to be all mucho like and pretend it didn't mean anything at all.:biggrin1:
    My point though is this - can two people of the same sex sleep together and it NOT be about sex ? Maybe just a shared need to have another body in the bed or on the couch that night, or maybe just the act of sleeping while being held makes it sometimes easier to make it through the night. It is a hungar for affection and close body contact I think, rather than a sexual need that drives people to do this. Much like the 'cuddle' parties that I hear so much about lately. Thoughts ?

    UPDATE - Just remembered the title of the episode in question, called ironically enough THE ONE WITH THE NAP PARTNERS.
     
  2. Wrat

    Wrat New Member

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    I had a friend visit me from out of state a few years ago for a job interview in the city. She put her big flannel jammies on and crawled into bed with me and we curled up like spoons and went straight to sleep just like we did it every day of our lives. I was getting a bit crazy the second morning though. She is very attractive and that dark braid to her waist was hard to ignore so we did some smoochin' and gropin' before I got her back on her plane, but it was nice.
     
  3. Kimahri

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    I've only had the pleasure a couple of times to sleep with a guy and not have any sex come from it. It was a great experience. My buddy wasn't sure what to make of it though. Had to keep calming him down the next morning after it was said and done.
     
  4. ryanart

    ryanart Member

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    "cuddle parties" never heard of them >? Is this a new thing?
     
  5. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    I think females can comfortably sleep together and it not be about the sex. Just like females can dance together and no one thinks much about it. It's a double standad but it does exist.

    Conversely, I believe that it's harder for males to platonically sleep together. I guess it might be more of a social constraint.

    I think the Greeks had it correct when they named the different types of love ( The Greek words were "eros", "agape", and "philia").


    One of the cutest things that I think I've seen to date is two men who did "accidentally" sleep together.

    Okay, here's the scenerio. I'm at work. I'm in a VIP room along with 3 other people. One guy, is pounding down the drinks. The guy I'm chatting with isn't ordinarily much of a drinker .

    All of a sudden the drinker get's up and sits on the other side of his friend. He just plops his head in his friend's lap and passes out. We both look at him and his friend shrugs and I shrug and we keep up our conversation.

    I personally thought that it was adorable that he put his safety and well being in his friend's "hands". I probably would have given it more pause for thought if I hadn't already known for several months that they were very good friends and often referred to each other as "brothers".

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Karmen
     
  6. RideRocket

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    Guys generally don't do it because it would give the impression that they are gay, and it would be difficult enough to even bring up the subject.
    ("Hey - wanna sleep together? No sex stuff though, ok?")

    Also, since most guys tend to get a boner or two throughout the night and/or wake-up with morning wood, that would also be hard (no pun intended) to explain.

    I've slept in the same bed as other guys, but it was more 'passed out' from too much drinking than anything.
     
  7. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    I saw something like this the other day in a fast food restaurant. A guy was kind of comically resting his head on the shoulder of his friend - affectionately. I didn't think it was gay but I did think it was cute.
     
  8. No_Strings

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    I've slept with 3 or 4 men without any sexual connotations whatsoever; there was no cuddling involved either.

    Simply two people sharing the same sleeping space.
     
  9. Freddie53

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    Sometimes it is difficult to "understand" what posters are meaning when they say sleeping together. And then the question does it have to be sexual? Two guys sharing the same bed, each on his side of the bed and the two guys not really touching each other is totally different from two guys cuddling while they are asleep. Cuddling isn't sexual either unless the people involved make it that way.

    But times have changed, thirty years ago when I first became a youth director, the parents, at that time close to my own parents in age made the rules as I was only in my twenties. One rule that had was that there HAD to be an adult of the same gender in every room. Since the beds were two double beds. There was one adult sharing a bed with a youth of same gender and then two youth in the other bed. No one thought anything about it then. Though I wouldn't do that today. There never was any hint of sexual overtones by anyone on any of those trips when we had that rule in place. I slept as close the the edge of the bed and faced away from the other bed partner. I made sure there wasn't any accidental touching on my part.

    Today, the adults in the church want an adult in every motel room because the teens have slipped out and caused mischief in the past. The reasoning is that there is much more a possibility of a teen getting into trouble slipping out during the night than something happening in the beds in the motel rooms.

    There is this one change. A cot is brought in so the adult doesn't share a bed with a youth. And if that isn't possible, then one of the youth has to sleep on the floor. (Bring sleeping bags. With four back surgeries, I can't sleep on the floor, the teen will have to do it.) The ideal is to have two rooms with a door in between two adults share a bed and the youth each share a bed with another youth and the door between the rooms is never shut.

    We do background checks on the adults now. Though that doesn't guarantee anything. In thirty years there has never been a report surface of a problem relating to sexual activities in the beds in a motel.

    Thirty years ago, some guys would parade around nude while changing. That hasn't happened in any youth groups I have been with in over 20 years. Some guys completely dress in the bathroom. Some of the guys wear the type of underwear that isn't very revealing and walk out into the hallways in front of EVERYONE.

    Some of the boys will sleep on the floor rather than share a bed with another youth. Not many.

    It is impossible to have a set standard that all are going to follow. This much I have learned. I don't make a youth follow something they are uncomfortable with. I pretty much let the guys handle all of this stuff on their own unless some guy makes a problem that I have to intervene.
     
  10. Charles Finn

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    I have had alot of male friends i have shared a bed with but not sex
    i hate to sleep alone
     
  11. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Married people do it a majority of the time.
     
  12. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I've slept with people before without it being a sexual thing.
     
  13. lemont77

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    So have I...not always by CHOICE...but I have, yes. Mostly because I'm a big guy and, more often than not, seen as a "Teddy Bear" rather than a person in need of...sexual healing. Sexual...Heeeaaaling.

    Sorry. Sometimes, I just can't help myself.
     
  14. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    I like to sleep with people who I am comfortable with. You can talk and so on as you fall asleep.

    I once slept with a boss while we were away on a job. I was probably nineteen or twenty. He wasn't a lot older, maybe twenty-six. He had arranged a two day stay in an extra room at a friend's home so he didn't have to pay for hotel rooms. For some reason it just wasn't comfortable. The next night I slept on the floor.
     
  15. Principessa

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    OMG! I LOVE that episode, it's hysterical!
    Hmm, with the exception of college dorms, I have slept in a full size bed since I was 5. At Christmas and any other holiday I share a bed with various cousins or aunts. Anytime I have had just one girl friend sleep over from childhood until now we share my bed. Yes, our bodies touch sometimes, but we don't freak out about it. It's not sexual and we don't cuddle, we're just a couple of gals sleeping together. :smile:



     
  16. Barely Big

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    I've shared a bed with male friends on several occassions. One that comes to mind was when we were all on vacation together and were horsing around, then decided to see if we could all fit in the same bed. It was a regular double bed. The answer was yes. I think there were four guys there, but one left for the floor after a little while do to body heat. There was no snuggling, but jokes about doing so, more of a laugh than anything.

    I think that would be kind of uncommon today though unless all persons involved were really secure in their sexuality, whatever it may be. Granted I was afraid of "poking" someone in the night, so I slept facing outwards. Had it happened, I have a feeling I'd have been ostrocised, but nothing more.

    With female friends I am slightly more uncomfortable because there was an ocassion where I was lying next to them, getting ready to sleep, but was nervous about getting hard. So of course it happened. They shifted once and bumped into me, but I decided to stay put in hopes they didn't notice. They shifted again, and then moved away. I never brought it up with said friend, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. With a guy it would've been a joke, but with her it was a problem. We're still friends though, so I can't imagine she even remembers :biggrin1:
     
  17. ganja4me

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    I have slept in the same bed with other guys but never cuddled with them. I don't really desire cuddling with a guy but if I was cuddling with a girl it would not necessarily have to be a sexual thing. I could cuddle with a girl that was just a good friend and one that I wasn't attracted to without it being sexual.
     
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