Can we be friends?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by softblack, Jan 29, 2010.

  1. softblack

    softblack New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2009
    Messages:
    6
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    Simple question - Can you be friends with the opposite sex without wanting to have sex?

    In my opinion no matter how much you deny it there is always that fleeting moment when you think about it.
     
  2. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,469
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,584
    Location:
    United States
    Can. Have. Am. I'm not ruled by my choch.
     
  3. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Europe
    I can. guys whose personality I like but can't fathom sex with are put in the Friends Zone. I have since come to terms that this rarely works. So I have fewer male friends and I work on keeping them as shallow as possible.
     
  4. chataholic09

    chataholic09 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2009
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    loving the comment comment lol
     
  5. pcghabsy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,576
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    508
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    India
    Sure. Though, ya, there's always that fleeting moment.
     
  6. the_reverend

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,254
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    not really...but i CAN be really good friends with them even if i want to have sex with them. lol!
     
  7. SilverTrain

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2008
    Messages:
    4,582
    Albums:
    8
    Likes Received:
    404
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I definitely have had many female friends.

    If I am more than a little sexually attracted to them, then it gets more complicated.
     
  8. softblack

    softblack New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2009
    Messages:
    6
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    I can. guys whose personality I like but can't fathom sex with are put in the Friends Zone. I have since come to terms that this rarely works. So I have fewer male friends and I work on keeping them as shallow as possible.

    Classic!
     
  9. SilverTrain

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2008
    Messages:
    4,582
    Albums:
    8
    Likes Received:
    404
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Hmm, "100% straight", the original post, and the quoted portion ^^^^^^^^ don't seem to jibe.

    :confused:
     
  10. Redheadchi

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2009
    Messages:
    1,839
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    686
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago
    I have plenty of girl friends that I don't want to have sex with. Sure I've thought about it but thats as far as it goes. It might just be me but for most of my girl friends I value their friendship more than having what would most likely be a one time thing.
     
    #10 Redheadchi, Jan 29, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2010
  11. D_Polyxena Pasties

    D_Polyxena Pasties New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2009
    Messages:
    194
    Likes Received:
    0
    Depends on the male friend... I mean... some I'm totally not feeling in that way.... like the thought makes me want to hurl. Basically, just cause you have a penis, doesn't mean I want to fuck you.
     
  12. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    26
    yes. and no.

    finding men who i never want to have sex wih is easy!
     
  13. pcghabsy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,576
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    508
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    India
    Yes, but finding women who we (guys) never want to have sex with, but at the same time want to be good friends with, is much tougher. :biggrin1:
     
  14. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    26
    exactly.
     
  15. D_Cateryke Cheesysmell

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2010
    Messages:
    193
    Likes Received:
    4
    Why must we never think of a platonic friend sexually? I do not understand the need to deny the impulse. I certainly think it is possible to have a friendship with a woman without (even subconsciously) seeking a sexual relationship with her. I have female friends who are both lovely people and so utterly unattractive as to never cross my mind as sexual partners. I have female friends who are lovely people and hot as hell but the friendships were still completely platonic. That doesn't mean wanting to fuck their brains out doesn't cross my mind from time to time but if they're not interested, so be it. I don't buy the notion that an acknowledgement of their sexuality somehow forever "taints" our future friendship. I, and they, have more self control than that.
     
  16. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,335
    Likes Received:
    1,821
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    Yes - if you know that they have some STD, if you know that they are jealous as fuck or have other psychological issues, if they are ugly and in every other way incompatible.

    Some people are really good fun to be with but unless you seek problems, intimacy is best avoided.
     
  17. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    7,875
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,795
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    Cap and I have discussed this many, many oh so many times before. We are just wired completely different. That's all there is to it.

    I have many male friends that I would never ever entertain the thought of having sex with them. It's just not in the realm of possibilities.

    Cap has already confessed years ago to thinking my own Mum is sexy. He said if something ever happened when me and my Dad were out of the picture... well. I think it's icky, but she is a very attractive woman.

    I think given the opportunity he would revert to his old ways and "do" every female that came across his path. I've fantasized mostly about unattainable people like stars and such. My friends are my friends. There's no "taking it to another level." That, to me is another world, and they couldn't breathe in that atmosphere. Makes sense? To me it does.
     
  18. pcghabsy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,576
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    508
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    India
    If they have an STD - well, the desire will still persist. As for the other conditions, if we were that incompatible, we wouldn't bother being good friends. Or even acquaintances.
     
  19. L_Lynn

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2009
    Messages:
    517
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Oregon
    Verified:
    Photo
    Yes. I have a male friend that I ballroom dance with unbelievably well, but have absolutely no attraction to him whatsoever. None. Zilch. Uh-uh. Ain't never gonna happen, baby.

    Then I have the male friends who are undeniably sexy, sweet guys I adore. And yes there are moments when we might stand a little too close when we are a little too drunk and the thought flits through my head, "We could so have sex right now." but we don't act on it.

    And then there is SilverTrain. Hmm...
     
  20. SilverTrain

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2008
    Messages:
    4,582
    Albums:
    8
    Likes Received:
    404
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Meet me 'round the back, you sultry _____...................


    :biggrin1:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted