Can women & men really be only friends?

[Wish-4-8]

OMG I can't believe the whole 'When Harry Met Sally' thing was actually brought up! That is completely different because they fall in love and are not with other people when they do the deed and change the tone of their relationship.

Anyways movies are not reality and even tv "reality" isn't real.

It was based on the life experiances of the director, the producer, and the screen writer who is female.

When Harry and Sally were with other people, they did not become friends; the airport scence. And then later, they did try it. And they were involved with other people. No one cheated but the second they were both free, they ended up having sex.

The point is, the sex is always out there. Yes, you can be friends, but dont deny the fact that the sex isnt there. Its in the air. And if it aint coming from you, its coming from the other person, and it is not always the man.

I have had sex with female friends who I never thought in a million years I would have had sex with for various reasons. It just happens. One small laying down of your reason and defenses, and BAM. The awkward next morning.

 

[B_quietguy]

I have plenty of female friends and male friends. Almost all are platonic with absolutely no interest in sex on either part. I have also had sex with several friends and remained friends. A few friends might be able to tempt me into bed depending on the situation, but unless they give clear signs of interest, then I don't expect that to happen.

Now if some clueless guy keeps hitting on his female friends, and does not take a hint that they are not interested, then those friendships just don't last long. I've noticed that those particular guys can't seem to stay friends with women.

 

[deleted405852]

I have guy friends, but I tend to have more girl friends these days.
My best friend is getting married this October and I just got back from her Jack & Jill Wedding party actually. So I'm gonna say YES a man and a woman can be friends.
We are intimate with each other (not in a romantic sense), we trust & confide in each other. We can talk about dumb shit or really personal things that we dare not tell another soul. Sometimes we are each others "Sounding Boards".

I respect and love her, and that carries over in my relationship with her future husband to be and her family. Honestly when I first met her sure I thought about dating her, but she had a special someone in her life and I respected that and I'm glad I did since they will be getting married soon. I just want her to be happy since she makes me happy.
My point is this, yes I find her to be attractive, then again people wouldn't be friends unless something attracted them to the other person in the first place.

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

it seems like those are two different questions to me. can men and women just be friends? of course. i have as many, if not more, super close female friends as i do male friends. without sex being an issue? i guess that depends on how you define it. if there's attraction there, then it's going to be an issue. i'm a sexual person with an active imagination, so i've thought about sex with most of my female friends at one time or another...but there's a difference between thinking/feeling it and making it an issue or the basis of your relationship. i think the problem a lot of guys have, or at least perceive, is the notion that if there is a sexual element there then it's the most important thing. and so they either give into that notion and decide they can never be friends with females, or they fight it and repress those feelings and wind up in denial which is just as bad, if not worse. i think the trick is to acknowledge it, feel what you're feeling but not necessarily act on it if you don't want to take it to the next level. fantasy has no consequences...if you move it into the realm of reality, you have to be prepared to deal with those consequences.

I agree - I think that a lot depends upon how sexual both are. I've found a man with a high sex drive can't be platonic with me, is always attracted to me, but we can talk about it and know it won't be acted upon. If each respects the other, it's quite possible to be good friends - just have to be sensitive to each other and honest, and we both use humor to diffuse the situation. I have closer male friends than female ones, because I tend to think more like men than women, and I enjoy that jackass male sense of humor, am more like men than women sexually (am more sexual than most women, also talk about it in the way men do) AND I'm extremely straightforward, open, and honest, which men generally appreciate more than women do.

 

[YBNB]

One of my best friends is a girl. Both of us have a high sex drive, put to use on our respective partners. But I'd never fuck her. She's like a guy to me.

 

[kit_kat]

Totally platonic, I don't think so. Would be very difficult anyway, as there is always going to be some sexual tension on at least one side.

If they are not related, then I agree, at least one of them has to not want to have sex with the other, but even then the one-sided disinterest has to develop into both of them not wanting to have sex with each other otherwise it could turn into resentment from the one who does want it and friendship ends.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Absolutely men and women can be friends. And I'm not just talking gay men, either.

It's all a matter of how he views the woman. If she's an equal, it works. If she's a piece of ass, well, then it's going downhill from there.

Not the most enlightened response...

For me, precisely the opposite... I ain't gonna be interested at all unless she's an equal...

I think it plays more into chemistry and attraction.

A guy can be friends with a woman he does not find sexually attractive.
Or with a woman he has satisfied that sexual tension with...
Or if he happens to be a guy who is happy with what he's got and is not a philanderer.

 

[the_reverend]

This is also true.

But because it is a big block of text, it is invalid.

damn! always forget about that one...sigh...

 

[tiedhands]

All of my closest friends are girls, my two best friends especially. I've always gravitated towards women, I guess because I find most guys my age (at least where I'm from) are generally very immature, unintelligent, uncaring assholes. My friends are almost always older women. You can remain friends as long as one of you don't cross that line. It's natural for people to have sexual thoughts or fantasies or images in your head about your friends, but they're just that, thoughts. If you make it known that you have feelings, you cannot take it back. But yes, it's very possible...

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

Yes. If the two people have no sexual/romantic attraction to each other, then it's easy.

 

[D_Cock_Hudson]

In my experience it can and does happen, and they can be as meaningful as friendships between two men or two women.

 

[tcwildman]

Almost all men cannot be friends with a woman if they have no sexual attraction to them. It is very rare and usually the longer you are friends the closer you become and the easier it could eventually lead to sec because you are comfortable around that person. I had a woman i was friends with for four years while we were both with other people. We got to where we were so comfortable around each other. We even changed clothes in front of each other and it didnt seem to matter. Then one night when we were both out of relationships we were hanging out and we wound up having sex. It is almost inevitable.