My ex and I were together from 1990 to 1997; fall of 97, I learned he had another lover for two years. They are still together. I'm German-Irish, he's Cuban. Can you imagine? Anyway there were other dramas surrounding our breakup, including his mother's death at that same time. I actually experienced psychic-numbing at her funeral, which was the first time I met my replacement. It was heavy.
He's this hard-headed, stubborn little asshole. We were never sexually compatible, and we were both textbook codependents at the time. (I've worked my way out of that, it has taken so may years.) And I absolutely love him to this day, and he me. In additional to being a little difficult, he's also one of the funniest people I know. He can brighten up any party and throws great ones himself. He can be like a Santa Claus. We talk now and then, I go to his NYE and Oscar parties every year, and on the 4th, if he has a party. We would both do anything for the other. Earlier this year I had surgery, and who was there -- my Mom, my oldest sister, my friend Jenny, and him...so that's the way it goes. Neither of us ever wanted to lose the other. So we haven't. He and his partner have hosted me for dinner a few times. Last time I called he said he couldn't spend a dollar on anything right now so I think it's my turn to take them out.
We did not make a good pair of lovers, but we are fast, devoted, and life-long friends.
People do not understand love. It only comes when you give it away, so the more you give away the more comes. It multiplies itself. It has no end.