Can you ever be friends with your ex?

[enderwiggen]

I'm really good friends with all of my ex girlfriends but one. With that being said, I know what I am looking for in a relationship, and am extremely picky. And ultimately the reasons we all split up was because our relationship as friends stopped developing and things were getting awkward. Well, except that one. And she cheated on me with a guy so far in the closet he has to be in Narnia. Needless to say, I dropped her like she was on fire. If she was wanting to date an immature, insecure, egotistical closetted flamer instead of a guy who has it together and is comfortable with himself, then by all means. Set yourself up for heartbreak. You already broke mine. He later dumped her without any warning signs, stood her up at the opera, and when she tried to pick up the tickets so she could at least watch, there weren't any tickets purchased in the first place.

As you can see, I'm still bitter even though it was over a year ago. ::shrug::

But anyway. I am very good friends with most of my ex's . One is getting married in December and I'm a member of the wedding party. I'm happy for her and she and her fiancee are great together.

 

[Drifterwood]

OMG I am an old fart.

Two of my best friends to this day are ex's from when I was your age. But then we were probably together because we were friends. Now my married friends tell me that they can stay together because they are friends.

You have to deal with the ending of one thing, but always leave a door open.

 

[sexplease]

if you were friends before passion was set aflame, surely you'll be friends when the fire dies down. If not ... probably not.

 

[Lex]

id love to say yes, but the more i see her i think no. whenever i see her it just conjours up the feelings of when she left me. i saw her this evening and knowing id see her made me feel like shit all day. we were sitting down with other people in a club, abd depressed as i was, she brushed my arm which made me start to well up. ill admit im a depressive person but id like to be friends with her, it just seems even when im happy to see her, seeing her makes me feel like shit. i should be over this now, we split 2-3 months ago, there has been girls since her, just not ones worth pursuing. although ill say i dont see the point of a relationship right now. maybe i wont be over her untill i have someone else, which, if im right, wont be till i finish uni in 3 years.

You can. I am friends with two of my ex's (wife and BF) and my partner is friends with his ex. I fact, we are ALL friends with each other.

Good advice I was once given: Don't be with someone if you can't be their Ex (abuse and violence aside).

 

[molotovmuffin]

Not me... once your an ex your history. See ya, don't call, don't write and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Oh thank GOD! Someone who thinks like me. :smile::tongue:

Now that's a scary thought! lmao

How so? :irked:

Hahahahahah.... sorry nj, no offense was meant! I find so few people who agree with me on anything that when one comes along... it's scary! Hahahahah..... opps :tongue:

 

[MuscleDick]

Being friends with an ex is challenging for me. I have 2 very significant exes in my past who were both extremely passionate relationships with very high levels of mutual physical attraction. As much as I at time terribly miss the friendship of these females it can become a difficult and potentially problematic situation to remain "friends". Because the physical attraction aspect remains it can be tempting to fall back into old patterns. Also I have found that my exes new partners are often insecure and do not wish to have someone like me hanging out with their new female partner on even a "friend" basis (which to some degree I can understand).

I envy those of you able to do maintain the friendship but I have found it can be very difficult.

 

[Rubenesque]

I'm friends with many of my ex lovers, and a couple of my long term partners.

My ex husband and I had a very nasty break up, but now we get along fine... it works for us!

 

[D_Relentless Original]

I have two ex's, one of them i have nothing to do with what so ever and never will. The other is a very good mate and a loyal friend, we get on better as friends than we did as partners.

 

[Rubenesque]

I have two ex's, one of them i have nothing to do with what so ever and never will. The other is a very good mate and a loyal friend, we get on better as friends than we did as partners.

That's right, we do..... ooops was that meant to be a secret?

 

[D_Relentless Original]

That's right, we do..... ooops was that meant to be a secret?

SSHHH!

 

[zombyalive]

i haven't remained friends with any of my ex's, and each main relationship has been pretty intense and physical. the only one i talked to on and off for some time, eventually cheated on her bf with me.

i honestly wish i still talked to most of them, i can think of at least 2.

on the other hand, there is always that one i still wonder about, and i'd give a lot to talk openly with her again...

 

[cute5]

No. You can never be 'friends', only ex-lovers. You can be cordial and polite and even get along, but not friends. Once you've swapped juices it is never the same.

 

[Principessa]

No. You can never be 'friends', only ex-lovers. You can be cordial and polite and even get along, but not friends. Once you've swapped juices it is never the same.

I agree.

 

[goodone13]

The answer is yes, but it takes a little time. In my experience, no one knows you like an ex, and if you can get past the hurt, you'll have one of the frankest and most supportive voices possible at your ear.

+1

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

If you were friends to start with....sure.

 

[latinluva]

I'm friends with all my ex's except two, and that's their fault. I get along with everyone. :wink:

 

[max90]

I'm very good friends with one of my exes. She was my girlfriend in highschool, and ever since we're really close friends.
She's now having a relationship with one of my friends, and I'm totally okay with it.
But there's always a special 'thing' between us. Maybe it's because we've been totally physical, that brings the friendship to a different level.

@ littlelemon: I totally understand your feelings. I just felt like you. You don't know what it means if they put an arm around you, you want her back but you can't and still she puts her arm around you. Girls are too confusing!
Advice: Accept that you won't get her back, otherwise you'll make yourself crazy. Just have a lot of fun with your friends, and: don't try to make her jealous, it ruins your potential friendship and the chances of getting her back just like in the movies are rather small.

This girl left me for another dude, he was 19 at that time and already out of highschool, had a scooter, was allowed to go out and stuff. I was still a 15 year old schoolboy, so he was the better one yeah. But after a while she and I became good friends again. The best way to accept her having another boyfriend is to make her cheat. And I succeeded in that. After a sleepover-party at her house (he wasn't able to attend), when everybody was gone the next morning, she and I had some great great sex!
It totally changed my attitude towards him, and her. The best part was that she told him of her cheating only after they broke up .
And now, she's having a relationship with one of my 'friends', I'm okay with it, because I think he's a loser. Which he is.

 

[max90]

I'm very good friends with one of my exes. She was my girlfriend in highschool, and ever since we're really close friends.
She's now having a relationship with one of my friends, and I'm totally okay with it.
But there's always a special 'thing' between us. Maybe it's because we've been totally physical, that brings the friendship to a different level.

@ littlelemon: I totally understand your feelings. I just felt like you. You don't know what it means if they put an arm around you, you want her back but you can't and still she puts her arm around you. Girls are too confusing!
Advice: Accept that you won't get her back, otherwise you'll make yourself crazy. Just have a lot of fun with your friends, and: don't try to make her jealous, it ruins your potential friendship and the chances of getting her back just like in the movies are rather small.

This girl left me for another dude, he was 19 at that time and already out of highschool, had a scooter, was allowed to go out and stuff. I was still a 15 year old schoolboy, so he was the better one yeah. But after a while she and I became good friends again. The best way to accept her having another boyfriend is to make her cheat. And I succeeded in that. After a sleepover-party at her house (he wasn't able to attend), when everybody was gone the next morning, she and I had some great great sex!
It totally changed my attitude towards him, and her. The best part was that she told him of her cheating only after they broke up .
And now, she's having a relationship with one of my 'friends', I'm okay with it, because I think he's a loser. Which he is.

 

[the_reverend]

No. You can never be 'friends', only ex-lovers. You can be cordial and polite and even get along, but not friends. Once you've swapped juices it is never the same.

perhaps some can't...but clearly, from my own experience and plenty of the posts in here, it can be and has been done.

 

[voidout]

that depends on a lot of things.