invisibleman
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I'm under no illusions...and more often than not - it is my experience that men hold women to a higher standard of behavior than they do for themselves.
Have you ever considered that if you have standards that are set and he may have standards that are set...you both could never be...but you may actually be right for each other? But because you both have standards you discount each other's worth to the relationship.
My question about respect isn't about lying or cheating. It can be something as simple as not looking out for your best interests aside of his own...or if you look out for his, but he doesn't swing for the fences with regard to yours.
Well, regardless of the focus of losing respect...you can lose respect on many things. But if the tendency is that you lose respect over asymmetrics in a relationship, you should date men who are well-rounded in what you deem respectable.
That point when you recognize that there might be love or attraction, but you don't respect him. Or the alternate, you don't respect someone on the onset because of his behavior but given opportunity - you'd "suck his balls in a Burger King parking lot."
Well. he'd have to have some serious sexuality and game for me to suck his balls in a Burger King parking lot. :biggrin1:
I'm not talking betrayal, but rather when you have lost respect or admiration... or you simply feel a spark, can you act on that and treat it as sex, nothing more.
Well, I think that you have to consider the man. Some men may not want you for a relationship...and he may agree to be used for sex. What if you met a man that fits all your criteria for respectability...but he doesn't want you for a relationship...he just wants to suck your clit to implosion in the McDonalds drive-thru at three in the morning?
For myself, I'm not capable of it on the onset, yet I've stayed in a relationship, to be long-suffering - to hang in there it will get better, etc. when in my gut I've violated my own rules and resent him. You may have sex but it feels like a transaction. You split up. You're horny later...do you go there?
Well, if you don't like or respect the guy...you don't need to have sex with him. Have sex with men you like.
I have once and it was a disaster. I can't go back there and I don't think I can fuck a man I don't respect, b/c I know I'd walk all over him - not out of spite, but for my own self-preservation. Maybe it would be clearer if I said I cannot respect a passive man, no matter how sweet he might be, if he is a pushover, I just can't go there. Alternatively I can't respect a man that puts himself first all the time and no matter how horny I am, I can't go there.
Well, you don't have to settle for less. You should probably stick to meeting those men who you can respect. But men can lose respect for you as well. Consider that balance in the love game.
Yet I think women will put up with a lot when sex is there. So I ask the question, can you fuck someone that you don't respect?
I think that people don't have to put up with anything. Be honest. If you are one of those "cruel to be kind" people...you should speak your mind once and leave.
People should know what happens when you lose respect of the people you love. They know they aren't getting fucked by you. They know that they aren't getting in a serious relationship with you. But that doesn't mean that they can't get sex from another woman. Or that they can't be in a relationship with another woman though.
Have you ever considered that if you have standards that are set and he may have standards that are set...you both could never be...but you may actually be right for each other? But because you both have standards you discount each other's worth to the relationship.
My question about respect isn't about lying or cheating. It can be something as simple as not looking out for your best interests aside of his own...or if you look out for his, but he doesn't swing for the fences with regard to yours.
Well, regardless of the focus of losing respect...you can lose respect on many things. But if the tendency is that you lose respect over asymmetrics in a relationship, you should date men who are well-rounded in what you deem respectable.
That point when you recognize that there might be love or attraction, but you don't respect him. Or the alternate, you don't respect someone on the onset because of his behavior but given opportunity - you'd "suck his balls in a Burger King parking lot."
Well. he'd have to have some serious sexuality and game for me to suck his balls in a Burger King parking lot. :biggrin1:
I'm not talking betrayal, but rather when you have lost respect or admiration... or you simply feel a spark, can you act on that and treat it as sex, nothing more.
Well, I think that you have to consider the man. Some men may not want you for a relationship...and he may agree to be used for sex. What if you met a man that fits all your criteria for respectability...but he doesn't want you for a relationship...he just wants to suck your clit to implosion in the McDonalds drive-thru at three in the morning?
For myself, I'm not capable of it on the onset, yet I've stayed in a relationship, to be long-suffering - to hang in there it will get better, etc. when in my gut I've violated my own rules and resent him. You may have sex but it feels like a transaction. You split up. You're horny later...do you go there?
Well, if you don't like or respect the guy...you don't need to have sex with him. Have sex with men you like.
I have once and it was a disaster. I can't go back there and I don't think I can fuck a man I don't respect, b/c I know I'd walk all over him - not out of spite, but for my own self-preservation. Maybe it would be clearer if I said I cannot respect a passive man, no matter how sweet he might be, if he is a pushover, I just can't go there. Alternatively I can't respect a man that puts himself first all the time and no matter how horny I am, I can't go there.
Well, you don't have to settle for less. You should probably stick to meeting those men who you can respect. But men can lose respect for you as well. Consider that balance in the love game.
Yet I think women will put up with a lot when sex is there. So I ask the question, can you fuck someone that you don't respect?
I think that people don't have to put up with anything. Be honest. If you are one of those "cruel to be kind" people...you should speak your mind once and leave.
People should know what happens when you lose respect of the people you love. They know they aren't getting fucked by you. They know that they aren't getting in a serious relationship with you. But that doesn't mean that they can't get sex from another woman. Or that they can't be in a relationship with another woman though.
