Can you give me advice?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Lotharius, Nov 1, 2010.

  1. Lotharius

    Lotharius New Member

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    Hi! First and foremost, I apologize for my bad english!

    I would like to ask the community on this site, because I'm not afraid to speak frankly here. There is a girl, who was my girlfriend in high-school for a short period (4months). We broke up, but still we are good friends, still hanging with the same group friends. She (and me also) has(have) a very long and stable relationship, but she is very discontended with her boyfriend. The works a lot, sometimes takes two shifts, and works as a dj in the weekends. So you can imagine whats her problem... Yes, true the use their bed only for sleeping. Otherwise, they have a great relationship, they are engaged now for 5 months

    Yesterday evening after was took home my girlfriend from the guy's Halloween party (a friend of her, also) she called me and asked me to take home her too, because she didn't wanted to stay at the party anymore.

    While I was driving, she told me, that they didn't had sex since August, and she loves the guy, but she want's to have some dirty, sweaty fuck. The she asked me, whether i remember those old days, when we were together... and asked me to be her fuck buddy (im not sure about the translation is correct, anyways, she wants just sex, not emotions)

    I was really shocked. Not just because the guy is good old friend of mine, but I consider fidelity very important, so i never wanted to cheat my girlfriend. She was disappointed, to see my refusal, and then she told, when she left the car, ''if this is the case, i'll seek the oppurtinity by myself''.
    I fear, that this means, that she will cheat the guy with some stranger.

    My problem is, that i cant do her, i couldn't tell the guy what's the situation, because he is a little... sensitive in this matter. And i think its just would get even worse if she picks one other guy.

    Could you give any advice to me?
     
  2. DexterMorgan

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    Well....you seem to be sensitive (to her, and the situation). And, that's a good thing...But, I'm thinking the "friend sex" or "buddy sex" is only a prelude to a new relationship. If she's not happy, she needs to let her boyfriend know this....for you, this might be the opportunity to get her back...but, understand...you'll lose her boyfriend as "a friend" forever (no matter what ultimately happens)...

    Dex
     
  3. AlteredEgo

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    Mind your business. You have fulfilled your obligation. What she does with her body, and her relationship is of no consequence to you. It is not your place to warn her fiance. If he needs to know, he needs to find out from her, or figure it out on his own. You need to pretend you never had this discussion with her, and move on. If you really must do something, you could talk to her about how she could possibly talk to her fiance about how needs, and how he could better meet them. It really is better they sort this out now, before they get married.
     
    #3 AlteredEgo, Nov 1, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2010
  4. helgaleena

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    Don't get involved in this except to encourage this girl to tell her fiancee how unhappy she is! They need to work this out. If he's too sensitive for you to tell him, then go to her and beg her to be honest with him.
     
  5. zaragoza

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    I think that you should stay out of it,all you can do is offer her some advice,whether she chooses to take it or not is up to her.If she's having issues with her fiancee she needs to talk to him about them.
     
  6. popgoestheweasle

    popgoestheweasle New Member

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    lets look at her and women like her....by the story you laid out ...she is just settling ... she in her mind ...has not found the complete package in one guy...so she jumps around....some women who are complicated (to picky, don't like this or that)...are damaged goods...at some point in there lives they suffered trauma ..which was so devastating that there unable to cope ..creating a complicated life in there mind...they made it almost impossible to be able to function with a normal man ...now i don't know if this fits her..just going off of what you say...but some people you just can't help... there destiny is laid out...so its her problem...her life if she can't awaken from the chaos she puts herself into ..thats life

    Weasle you can take a horse to the water...but you can't make him drink it
     
  7. B_BENDERBOY

    B_BENDERBOY New Member

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    you dumn fuck you should have jumped her bones when you had the chance.
     
  8. Madison_Thick

    Madison_Thick New Member

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    my advice was going to be to bang her! But, yeah, what others have said, mind your own business don't talk to the other man about it
     
  9. simbablk

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    If fidelity is important to you, then avoid sex with her at all costs.

    Instead, opt to be another person in her support system. As other's have said, maybe you could talk to her about talking to her fiancee about her issues and needs. If she's unhappy, then she needs to talk those things out BEFORE she gets married. Otherwise, those things that bother her now will continue to do so - which could lead to divorce.

    Be a true friend and offer her advice. Try to talk her out of having an affair but to talk to her man. IF she wants to have an affair, then that's her business. But then, you have a close relationship with her man and by that you will have to decided whether you tell him or not.

    Good luck dude.

    Simba
     
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