Can you love a liar?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, Aug 11, 2011.

?

Can you love someone who lies?

  1. Yes

    9 vote(s)
    22.5%
  2. No

    18 vote(s)
    45.0%
  3. Depends

    13 vote(s)
    32.5%
  1. earllogjam

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  2. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    That's a hard question. I myself have been known to lie, and its something I have to fight. Imagine if you as a child were constantly in trouble, wouldn't you lie to stop being in trouble? This is how it starts for some... And it never gets dealt with till they are older. Some become habitual, some become defensive liars. Its a hard thing to deal with. My love deals with my problems with patience and kindness. That being said, I have to be completely open or I could risk our entire marriage. I have been caught lying, and once we sat down and discusses the why of it, she understood and is working with me to be a more honest person. It all depends on the love and strength of the couple. And what each person is willing to deal with. For some my problem would have been a deal breaker. But luckily I found someone who understood the why, or loved me enough to try too, and work it out with me. I'm sure there are many different scenarios one could play out but in the end its a case by case, person by person type issue. The irony of my foible is that I can't stand to be lied too. Go figure that one out. =[
     
  3. SyddyKitty

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    Depends on the severity of the lies and what he lies about. Everyone lies a tiny bit.
     
  4. Endued

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    I don't think anyone on the planet has gone through any meaningful period on their life without some form of lying. Well there are probably people who consider that to be a paragon of virtue and do attempt to live their life that way, but for the most part, people aren't 100% truthful to themselves or others 100% of the time, so I don't think many people can really give an answer of 'no' to this question. Depnds entirely on the scale of the lies.
     
  5. wishingiwaslucky

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    I never lie. But that's a lie.
     
  6. nudeyorker

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    I don't think there is anything more unattractive than a true liar; by that I mean someone who distorts the facts in order to hurt someone or get away with something. Something dies inside me around these type of people, I'll be polite to them if necessary but they can drop dead for all I care.
    On the other hand there is a league of very charming people who exaggerate the details of a good story to make it more romantic or exciting or will edit something to spare someone's feelings or to save them from being hurt. These are the best sort of people to be on holiday with or at a dinner party.
    In terms of love I think it's best to have love served with the sometimes cold hard truth... at least it is for me because I always know where I stand with my other half and he with me.
     
  7. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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  8. Horrible

    Horrible New Member

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    Love, not trust.
     
  9. cheezsteak

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    I love women, so I guess so...
     
  10. LaFemme

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    QFT. I have loved a liar - and sometimes that means I've had to love that person from far away, because loving them up close was too dangerous. And as said elsewhere, we all lie a little and hopefully we are all loved a lot by someone.
     
  11. umami_tsunami

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    Great perspective LF.

    Oh yes. Yes I can. It can be painful and difficult, but it happens a lot. I try to practice complete, yet compassionate honesty.
     
  12. conntom

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    Depends on bra size and oral skills.
     
  13. august86

    august86 Member

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    One can love just about anything (or anyone), but choosing to be in a relationship with a pathological liar is not for me.
    #noDRAMA
     
  14. Joll

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    You can - but the person you love probably isn't the real them.
     
  15. CUBE

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    I worked with a woman who told the biggest lies with such conviction and no one would call her on it but me. I actually would wait for her to tell a story and just start laughing. I would add onto the story kind of pulling her leg and she would still stick to the lie. She was always saying how no man would date her and she couldn't figure it out. I thought, "Why do you thing, geeeeze" She retired a few years ago and we now joke that she wasn't who she said she was...like she had a complete stolen identity. If I ever found out that was an actual fact...it wouldn't surprise me. LOL
     
  16. Hoss

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    Love them, yes. If my child fibs I don't stop loving them.

    Be in a romantic relationship with a liar, that would depend on both the nature of the lie and what the circumstances were that led to it and whether it was before or after we met.



    earlogjam you weren't specific about who the liar in your question is.
     
  17. mephistopheles

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    This is the way I feel.

    I voted "Depends" though because there are liars to different severities and I have known liars to become more truthful and some even become non-liars once more. Glorious days these are!

    However if I know someone to be a liar I never really believe them, I have to see the facts.

    That's common sense though.
     
  18. Bbucko

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    I abhor liars. I voted no.
     
  19. rbkwp

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    only with certain conditions expected of them i think
    fr inst
    if he /she was a Heavy liar and not prepared to change, gonna be difficult
    if they are white lies, that you can work on to improve .. then love should win out
    Yes i would love a liar, but with the expectation they improve on there particular problem
    enz
     
  20. exwhyzee

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    I disagree. If there is something that I don't want someone to know about me, I won't tell them - rather than lie about it. I'm a terrible liar, and rather than deliberately telling a mistruth, I will try to quietly avoid the question and if they press, I'll tell them I don't want to answer their question.

    As I get older, my memory fails me with increasing frequency, and what I state as a truth one day might develop some nuance or alternative perspective on another day...and although that could be perceived by someone else as lying (or embellishment), it wasn't intended that way.

    I can lust after a person who lies, but I can't love someone. I hate being lied to, and I have been saddled with numerous partners who felt it necessary to lie to me about lots of things...ranging from their personal associations and romantic dalliances to more fundamental topics such as their names, workplace, and health. As has been stated earlier, lies kill trust and lack of trust kills love...in my book.
     
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