Can you love the guy who you have pity on?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by korinaus, Sep 29, 2009.

  1. korinaus

    korinaus New Member

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    Hi. I am wondering if you girls (or guys) can love the guy who you feel pitiful? What is the difference bewteen lovable and pitiful when it comes to seeing a guy? Thanks in advance!
     
  2. dolfette

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    pity? i couldn't love him in a sexual way.

    i could be with a man who had been through hard times and who i really felt for, but not one i pitied.
     
  3. korinaus

    korinaus New Member

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    Then, what kind of guys you have pity on?
     
  4. enormouslyaverage

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    Love = positive feelings
    Pity = negative feelings

    What are you trying to get at Korinaus?

    On the whole, pitiful guys don't get the girls, or certainly not the desirable ones. That's the whole reason they're described as "pitiful".
     
  5. dolfette

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    if i respect someone i feel empathy.
    if there's nothing worth respecting i feel pity.
     
  6. korinaus

    korinaus New Member

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    I think girls have far greater abillities than guys to feel sorry for people in despire, hard times, misfortune, etc. It seems girls really feel for it, want to help, and get them out of it. When I see that, to me, love and pity seems quite similar in nature for girls.

    But something is fundamentally different between the two feelings, which I cannot define clearly. That's why I am asking this to girls here. I mean it seems that it needs more for a girl to change that temporory heart-breaking feeling into more durable 'lovable feeling'. Because that is sad but something they don't desire.

    For example, many girls cry over a documentury about the cruel reality of some people in Africa and even are very much willing to donate some money, but do not want to live there themselves. And many girls, if not all, feel pity on a loser (I mean literally) for a moment but eventually goes with a winner. Many girls can feel sorry for a small-penis guy with insecurities but are likely to end up with a hung guy with a huge ego/confidence.

    Personally, I was once bullied and mocked by some mean boys as a child but I was kind of sucker who didn't fight against it. And I clearly sensed that girls in the class felt pity for me. But I also sensed that it was definitely not something crash or love. As time goes by, I once became (or was projected as) a smart and confident guy with some martial art skills. Then, I sensed some lovable feelings towards me from girls in the class, definitely not a pity, even though my sucker attitude and personality was pretty much same as when I was bullied before.

    All those things make me incline to think that, for girls, the feeling of love, in the end, might be based on power, desire and a bit of selfishness. That is what I am wondering.
     
    #6 korinaus, Oct 2, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2009
  7. B_Dustydo

    B_Dustydo New Member

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    If you have no pride or self respect how can you expect anyone else to have any for you?
    If you are going to act like a door mat don't be surprised if I wipe my feet on you.
     
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