Bigb0y, yes, I suppose it is a matter of practice and lots of it. Remember, that brain of yours is your most potent organ in sex. Some speak of letting one's cock do the thinking. IMHO, that is a big mistake.
Yes, we all have those "animal urges" and in our early teens we found that we had hard ons when we really did not want to have them because we felt they had to be hidden somehow. Remember? But, oh then there was the discovery of the sweet relief that could be had when we joined hand to cock for a good wank.
Somewhere, somehow, we may have learned that when the mind is on sex, or on one's cock, things can happen. I had no difficulty in thinking myself to a nice hard on. (You can too, Bigb0y, and your brain can help you to create for yourself a fantasy life that is really quite thrilling. For me, that often included wonderful orgasms in my solo sessions.
Today, I would be labelled and old man, but my brain and my cock are still quite dependable. I find that I get a nice reminder of my continued virility when I set my eyes on a person, man or woman, who strikes me as sexually attractive. My brain can quickly endow them with genitals that probably always exceed what their clothes hide. If I linger long I feel things happening. With me it is my brain and my body send a bit of delightful lubrication to my cockhead which my generous foreskin is able to contain long enough for me to get to some place where I can sop it up before it stains my trousers. I like it if I can take my finger and insert it so that I can run that finger around my cockhead through that wonderfully slippery stuff.
Bigb0y, we men are marvelously made and I think the Creator intended that we should enjoy our whole bodies. Remember, of course, that when two share in the beauty and the wonder of human sexuality the joy seems even greater. Yes, there are sexual thrills even in masturbation, and casual sex, but, IMHO, there is nothing to compare with sexual communion in a loving relationship. And, that can happen for you Bigb0y with either a man or a woman.
I wish for you those joys on both sides or either side of your sexuality.