Can you really call yourself straight if...
- Thread starter Reese
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TK, I don't think that's what the OP meant. I understood his question to be more along the lines of "he just shot a load in my mouth, how can he claim that's not sex?"
rob_just_rob
Sexy Member
Anyone who doesn't consider themselves bi after engaging in and responding to sexual contact from someone of the same sex, needs to
a) look up "bisexual" in the dictionary; and
b) get over it. It's not the end of the fucking world.
a) look up "bisexual" in the dictionary; and
b) get over it. It's not the end of the fucking world.
"I'm not bisexual, I just like sex with both men and women."Anyone who doesn't consider themselves bi after engaging in and responding to sexual contact from someone of the same sex, needs to
a) look up "bisexual" in the dictionary; and
b) get over it. It's not the end of the fucking world.
It's just a theory I have, but I'm guessing that men who have sex with other men, but claim to be "straight," are insecure, and think that being gay or bisexual makes them "less of a man." Yet another discreet form of homophobia.
- Eva,
But there's still exposure of genitals. With giving head, nothing of mine needs to be exposed other than my mouth and hands. Aside from lipstick and nail polish, they really don't have much of a wardrobe, ya know?
(Aside from that, I don't own or wear mini skirts or thongs.)
fortiesfun
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As long as you think of gay/bi as "other," then you can rationalize that you are neither because you are not different no matter what you do. That seems silly, but even sex researchers have trouble figuring out how to classify men in prison, boys in private schools ("public" for Brits), Military dudes, etc. They are having sex with each other, but allegedly only because there are no women available. I'm not defending it, but just noting that even at very academic levels the whole idea of non-conforming sex practices get tricky.
In fact, the whole idea of "sex" is tricky to classify. If a man and a women masturbate each other are they having sex? (Pretty clearly, yes.) If they masturbate themselves for the titillation of the other while occupying the same bed are they still having sex with each other? (Harder to say.) What about if they masturbate themselves while in the same room, but not in the bed still of the titillation of the other? (Harder yet.) What about if they masturbate themselves while on opposite sides of a glass particition in a peep show, still for the titillation of the other? (Hardly anyone would agree that they are still having sex with each other.)
The point is that neither orientation nor even the basic idea of "having sex" has hard and fast demarcation points. I make fun because personally I think most of these fussy notions have to do with our cultural discomfort with sex in general, but one is not really crazy if one can't decode our incredibly ambiguous definitions.
Bbucko
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I agree with those who seperate biological sex from emotional attachment. being Bisexual, to me, means that you are open to forming an emotionally intimate attachment (with sexual components) with someone of the same sex.
When I'm blowing someone, even if it's in a backroom or sexclub, it's still sex to me. And I'd say the guy getting blown feels that it's sex for him as well, but maybe I'm just a superlative cocksucker.
When I'm blowing someone, even if it's in a backroom or sexclub, it's still sex to me. And I'd say the guy getting blown feels that it's sex for him as well, but maybe I'm just a superlative cocksucker.
<sigh> No, of course "getting a hj or bj doesn't mean a guy is gay." It means he's getting a hj or a bj. I'm just saying that a straight guy doesn't have sex with men, and a gay man doesn't have sex with women. The men who have sex with both is known as "bisexual."
Can anyone tell me - for a sexually active person, what other category is there besides (1) Has sex exclusively with the same gender, (2) has sex exclusively with the other gender, or (3) has sex with either gender?
I'm not talking about falling in love, or getting married, or being emotionally involved... just the sex.
fortiesfun
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Sorry, I should have made it clearer that I was responding to the whole thread, rather than just you. I was quoting you because you triggered the thought, but I can see how that reads as a direct response.
WE all have had amazing encounters with the miraculously virginal. I've known guys who assumed because they were topping they were still str8. I've even known men who assumed, since they were just lying there, that while bottoming they were not giving up their het status.
I think there are legitimate conceptual oddities about the way our society treats sex, but I also think there are the self-delusional.
rob_just_rob
Sexy Member
To answer your question, no.
The crux of the matter here is that there are a lot of people whose self-image is such that they can't conceptualize of themselves as being bisexual. This may be due to homophobia, insecurity, peer pressure, or an inability to use a dictionary. So they make up their own definition of "straight", in order to keep their self-image intact.
Hell, you can call yourself a little teapot if you like. But nobody will know what you're talking about. Ditto for calling yourself a straight man who sometimes has sex with another man.
jerkdude75
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i agree labels are stupid, why care what someone else thinks? i'd get a bj or hj from another dude, and i dont consider myself ghey
I don't agree with the blatant generalization that labels are stupid. It's important to be able to self identify. Not having an identity is a huge problem. Case in point, people of mixed ethnic background. Some don't know if they're one or the other. At least in the example of race/ethnicity, one can easily be both. However, with regard to sexuality, you're either gay, str8 or bi. I really don't see what other choice there is.
As far as I can see, homophobia/shame is the only reason someone would be afraid to just be gay or at least admit to whatever "label" confirms your attraction for the same-sex. BJs and HJs are sex. Sorry, guys. Regardless of how horny I am, I can't keep it up for a woman, anybody I think is too old or out of shape, or whatever. It just doesn't work like that. So there has to be some sexual attraction somewhere.
Principessa
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Men that say that need to be cockslapped. No, never mind they'd enjoy it too much. :biggrin1:
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