Can you tell someone is gay?

[Altairion]

Originally posted by jonb@Feb 8 2005, 05:20 PM
How to tell if a guy's gay? Take this test:

Section 1: Add one point for each of these.

Does he fail to voice his S's?
Do his clothes always match?
Does he spend an inordinate amount of time at the gym?
Does he hold his cigarette between his second and third fingers?
Does he enjoy musicals?
Does he say "divine" often?
Does he use "girlfriend" in the vocative case often?

Section 2: Add ten points for each of these.

Does he like to suck dick?
If so, does he like it more than sex with a woman?

If he gets more than twenty points, he's gay.

[post=281216]Quoted post[/post]​

lol jon, I don't think Section 1 matters, there's only 7 points on that list ...hmmm that couldn't have been intentional at all could it ?

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Funny - See that is why I try not to believe in stereotypes and labels...I don't care what most folks think...I definitely don't consider myself gay...A lot of time most guys might assume I am - I have been told that I dress rather well, my voice is a little low - can't help it - I was born in the Bahamas and really had a hard time loosing the Carribean accent - really for my jobs that I have had, and I do like to workout...Hate musicals, don't think I ever used the word devine or girlfriend - if I was not referring to my girlfriend, don't smoke, and will have sex w/anybody I like alot and I don't discriminate...

 

[13788]

NineInchCock_160IQ:

Originally posted by woskxn@Feb 6 2005, 03:08 PM
So one of the topics made me think of this.

At first the thought of people saying that they could tell someone was gay was kind of rude, it suggest we are all alike in a certain way. But I have noticed it to be kind of true, but not to that degree.

There always seems to be ONE thing that gives it away but not MANY things like people seem to think. Like suggested by many, its not MANY things that give it away. No all gay people dont dress well, no not every gay guy wears makeup, no not every gay guy has a feminine voice, no not all gay guys walk a certain way but what I have found is that there is always ONE thing that usually does. Its ONE of those things. There are other things as well. Gay guys for most part do have a certain look (I dont mean physically) but just an acting a certain way.

What do you guys think?

(BTW, not saying there are not guys where a lot of things give it away)

[post=280628]Quoted post[/post]​

i think it's pretty easy to tell. I'm sure there probably are some gay guys out there who appear and act perfectly straight, and just from this board it's obvious that there are many subtle shades of homosexuality as well.. lots of people are somewhere inbetween. But for guys that are straight up homo I almost feel like how could you not tell? Maybe I just have better gaydar than most. I remember having a meal one time with my ex-girlfriend Alisha and the waiter for our table turned out to be one of her old classmates and after he took our order and left I think I mentioned something about him being gay (I had never met him before) and she looked at me funny and said something like "oh my god how could you tell? I thought he was one of those guys who really didn't give it away". So perhaps I'm just more observant than most.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Yeah, I'm a bit in agreement with Nine. Some people make their sexual orientation rather obvious while others are much more subdued, whether it's just natural to their personality or if they want to be discreet. In undergraduate school, I felt like I spent enough time hanging around the non-straight crowd to pick up some of the subtleties about "the gay crowd." That, and I'd jokingly tease about some of the frat guys being in denial -- boasting about women but taking their brother in the arse behind closed doors.

Sure, it's not a nice thing to judge people and I'm sure we're wrong a good bit of the time. I know I've made a few people double-take, but I think that's just me being one of those guys who's comfortable "toeing the line" in some aspects. And, if I like you enough, I don't mind sharing some of my history -- yeah, I've done stuff, but that was then and this is now. But until then, if you're gonna be ultra-flamey and start calling everyone "girl" regardless of gender, well.... that's all you.

 

[jonb]

Heh. Where I grew up, we all knew who was gay, but only because there wasn't as much hypocrisy regarding same-sex relations. Pretty much everyone admitted to being bi to some extent. And this was the 90s, before bisexuality became chic.

Hard to believe it's South Dakota. But there are two South Dakotas. One's Sioux Falls. The other's places like Thunder Butte and Firesteel.

 

[prepstudinsc]

In these days of hip "metrosexuality," all the "gay stereotypes" of cool, well put together clothes, a cood haircut with product, good shoes, a well designed or decorated (and clean) home, a guy who knows his way well around the kitchen and who knows what all the little tools are in the kitchen actually do, drinks fancy coffee, etc., are not good indicators of a person's sexuality. Most upper-middle class professional men are starting to fit this mold. Even in the "redneck" South, the good old boy bubbas are adopting some of these traits.

I have gay friends who are some of the most unflaming, straightest acting guys. The only way that I knew they were gay is when it came up in conversation that they had boyfriends instead of girlfriends. It didn't bother me at all. I like them for who they are and for the qualities they bring to the friendship, I'm not going to judge them for who they sleep with.

As a musician (and also as a funeral director--that's a profession that is very "gay friendly") I have always been around gay people, and many of them are quite flamboyant and obvious about it. I've been surprised, however, at a couple of people I know, that I found out that they were happily married with families, and that they were straight. I would have bet money that these fellow musicians were as gay as they come, but I was dead wrong. Judging by stereotypes, they fit the mold of a big time flamer, but in actuality, they are on the other end of the spectrum.

The only real way to know if anyone is gay, is if they tell you.

To add a question to Jon's test, though, is add 10 points if they know every line to all the episodes of the Golden Girls. All my gay friends all seem to be total fans of that show--even more into it than into musicals, Barbra Streisand, or the other "gay" things.

 

[surferboy]

Sometimes. Some straight dudes are aturally flamboyant, while there are gays guys out there you'd never guess was gay. My gaydar sucks.

Edit: And the only time I'd ever use it would be if I were looking for a boyfriend. When it comes to friendships, I don't see why sexuality would play a role. I feel sorry for closed minded people, and the people that are so afraid of what others would say if they came out. I wish people could just accept people for who they are. If it doesn't affect you, thn leave them alone

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

I have been able to work out wether people are gay or not, just by observeing them... but it isn't 100% accurate.

EDIT: So i suppose I have a rather good "Gaydar"... hekc i worked out Peter Mandleson was Gay before it was well known

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Yeah - I think the observation thing is the best but I personally don't try to figure out who is gay or not...I just like cool people and it does not matter your sexual orientation...But a really good friend of mine who happens to be gay always told me that he can tell by eye contact w/a guy - I mean if a person maintained eye contact w/him he knew the guy was interested...I never pay attention to it but that guy got a lot of action...

 

[viking]

OK,

From the picture,
Gay or Straight??

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Originally posted by ebviking@Feb 9 2005, 09:07 PM
OK,

From the picture,
Gay or Straight??

[post=281517]Quoted post[/post]​

From the picture only I'd say strait but open minded... even if not in the homosexual sex direction.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by ebviking@Feb 9 2005, 05:07 PM
OK,

From the picture,
Gay or Straight??

[post=281517]Quoted post[/post]​

Yeah definitely straight and a little open minded...

 

[jeepwranglerboi]

This is ridiculous! Saying that you can look at someone and tell if they are gay or straight is like looking at someone and guessing their ethnicity, or what city they are from, or if they are an only child, etc. It's all a stereotype. Get over the stereotypes and evolve a little. Not that we don't all do it a little, I'll be the first to admit that I do but let's get real people. Golly! :wacko:

 

[txquis]

Originally posted by jeepwranglerboi@Feb 9 2005, 05:23 PM
This is ridiculous! Saying that you can look at someone and tell if they are gay or straight is like looking at someone and guessing their ethnicity, or what city they are from, or if they are an only child, etc. It's all a stereotype. Get over the stereotypes and evolve a little. Not that we don't all do it a little, I'll be the first to admit that I do but let's get real people. Golly!  :wacko:

[post=281538]Quoted post[/post]​

right on, jeep.

by the way folks..can you tell from my pic what deodorant i'm wearing?
how bout my shoes? what shoes do i have on? LOL

 

[viking]

Originally posted by txquis+Feb 9 2005, 02:34 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(txquis &#064; Feb 9 2005, 02:34 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-jeepwranglerboi@Feb 9 2005, 05:23 PM
This is ridiculous&#33; Saying that you can look at someone and tell if they are gay or straight is like looking at someone and guessing their ethnicity, or what city they are from, or if they are an only child, etc. It&#39;s all a stereotype. Get over the stereotypes and evolve a little. Not that we don&#39;t all do it a little, I&#39;ll be the first to admit that I do but let&#39;s get real people. Golly&#33;  :wacko:

[post=281538]Quoted post[/post]​

right on, jeep.

by the way folks..can you tell from my pic what deodorant i&#39;m wearing?
how bout my shoes? what shoes do i have on? LOL

[post=281542]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

C&#39;mon guys&#33;
It doesn&#39;t really matter what people think in the end, but really,
If you think about it, Our language is based on classification.
We look at things and we make a judgement. Where do we classify what we see?
Like me / Not like me?
Like other things I&#39;ve seen?
How does it fit into what I know?

It is not a crime to make a call about your impressions of people.
It has no bearing on what is really true but it&#39;s theway we think.

Lots of people think I&#39;m gay. I think it&#39;s an interesting thing.
Maybe it&#39;s the way I act as apposed to the way I look.
Intresting that people that responded to my picture say definitely str8???

Hmmm??

And terms like gaydar don&#39;t come from nowhere ,right??

You&#39;ve got to admit that when you&#39;re checking somebody out, you tinking
"Hmm, wonder if he&#39;s gay?" Then you proceed to check for indicators, right??

What are those things that might tip you off?
If he&#39;s staring at your dick, well that&#39;s a good start.

LOL.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Originally posted by jeepwranglerboi@Feb 9 2005, 10:23 PM
This is ridiculous&#33; Saying that you can look at someone and tell if they are gay or straight is like looking at someone and guessing their ethnicity, or what city they are from, or if they are an only child, etc. It&#39;s all a stereotype. Get over the stereotypes and evolve a little. Not that we don&#39;t all do it a little, I&#39;ll be the first to admit that I do but let&#39;s get real people. Golly&#33; :wacko:

[post=281538]Quoted post[/post]​

Even if it is stereotypeing, stereotypes exist for a reason - because some people are actually like that.

Besides, as Ive said my "Gaydar" does appear to work... I dunno why, I dont like stereotypes etc, but I have a decent rate of figureing out sexuality of somebody.

I know its all psychological triggers etc, but hounestly I have had a very decent sucess rate.

:ninja:

 

[jonb]

Well, SomeGuy, I&#39;ve even met people who invent their own stereotypes; I mean, Adam Beach played a fireworks salesman, and suddenly that was a new stereotype about Indians. So stereotypes can appear after only one situation.

Then there are the people who project so deeply into a stereotype. I mean, I had no idea Jar Jar Binks&#39;s floppy ears were a black stereotype.

And of course there are the insane stereotypes, e.g. Spongebob Squarepants being gay.

 

[13788]

NineInchCock_160IQ:

Originally posted by SomeGuyOverThere+Feb 9 2005, 07:13 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(SomeGuyOverThere &#064; Feb 9 2005, 07:13 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-jeepwranglerboi@Feb 9 2005, 10:23 PM
This is ridiculous&#33; Saying that you can look at someone and tell if they are gay or straight is like looking at someone and guessing their ethnicity, or what city they are from, or if they are an only child, etc. It&#39;s all a stereotype. Get over the stereotypes and evolve a little. Not that we don&#39;t all do it a little, I&#39;ll be the first to admit that I do but let&#39;s get real people. Golly&#33; :wacko:

[post=281538]Quoted post[/post]​

Even if it is stereotypeing, stereotypes exist for a reason - because some people are actually like that.

Besides, as Ive said my "Gaydar" does appear to work... I dunno why, I dont like stereotypes etc, but I have a decent rate of figureing out sexuality of somebody.

I know its all psychological triggers etc, but hounestly I have had a very decent sucess rate.

:ninja:

[post=281558]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

I dislike negative stereotypes as much as the next person and I have a stronger distaste for people&#39;s incessant need to put a label on *everything* than most people do. However, so many people now have a kneejerk negative reaction to anything they see as stereotyping which is, in my opinion, a little bit of overreaction. Some stereotyping is good, it lets us live our lives by having a set schema of how things are. For instance, for us straight guys, the stereotype that most men do not have breasts, women do not have facial hair, and in general each sex wears gender-appropriate attire helps us out a great deal when we are in a bar trying to pick up girls. A lot of stereotypes are true, or at least mostly true. Of course there are exceptions, and people need to realize that, not all gay men act alike. But enough of them do act in certain ways that it has become the common perception that they share certain traits. Jeepwranglerboi pointed out this was like saying you could identify someone&#39;s race by looking at them. Well, good point. It is. Myself personally, I think the whole concept of "race" is an outmoded concept and I don&#39;t like to use the term. However, I can&#39;t in good conscience argue against the fact that it is very possible to look at someone and be able to identify what region of the world their ancestors came from. Though, once again, there are exceptions, people of mixed ethnicities, people with recessive traits or genetic abnormalities, people who belong to ethnic groups that are underrepresented on television and in movies and therefore not as well-known or recognized by the general population. I myself am pretty good at this. In addition to the white/black/asian/mid-eastern/latino categories most people in the USA seem to use, I have been able to accurately identify the differences between a Polish girl and a Romanian one by the shape of their toes. It&#39;s possible to see some general physical differences between people of predominantly Swedish, English, Irish, Scottish, German, French, Italian, Dutch, Spanish or Greek ancestry. I&#39;m just listing the ones I know fairly well. I&#39;m sure to a Slovak they can probably pick out differences between someone from Prague and someone from Zagreb. I&#39;ve successfully identified people who were from Iraq, Iran, Israel, Egypt, Turkey and Pakistan (Pakistani women are often really hot, by the way) by country and not just by the general term "middle-eastern". I think I can spot the difference between a Somali and someone from Ghana. Harder to tell the difference between a Somali and an Ethiopian, though I&#39;ve done this correctly before too. I work with a lot of hispanic people and have successfully guessed their country of origin many times, including two from Guatemala, one from El Salvador, one from Mexico, one from Bolivia, one from Peru. There was another from Chile, I got her wrong. I think she must be mixed. ;-) Puerto Ricans, Cubans and Dominicans all look fairly distinct as well. and now I think I&#39;m to the point where I can also pretty easily identify the difference between Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai (though sometimes get them confused with Cambodians and other surrounding countries), Filipinos and East Indians.

Anyway. the point of that overlong ramble... it is possible, if you&#39;re observant. and this isn&#39;t an inherently negative thing. The same way that there are subtle differences between a person with parents from Guatemala and another who is from El Salvador, there are some subtle differences between straight and gay men. Maybe not as much of this is genetic (though I think that question is still up for debate at this point), but for whatever reason there is a certain set of mannerisms, a kind of appearance, posture, etc. Just the way a person presents themselves that sort of gives it away. That&#39;s not even getting in to stuff like affection for musicals (which I also happen to enjoy) or an unnatural affinity for Barbara Streisand or Madonna. Some stereotypes are right. They help us cope with all of the information of the world that we are bombarded with on a daily basis without rendering us completely unable to function. Of course it is also possible to be wrong. It&#39;s possible to use stereotypes to hurt people. It&#39;s possible to overgeneralize. and there are exceptions to every rule. Stereotypes ignore the individual by assuming all things are average. I&#39;d say keep an open mind and you should do fine, but I feel like at this site I&#39;m almost preaching to the choir. Still, some of us do need to control that kneejerk reaction whenever we hear whatever word is on the liberal&#39;s and PC-Nazi&#39;s latest hitlist (in this case "stereotype"). That&#39;s all part of keeping an open mind.

After all of the above I even forgot to mention Native North Americans, I guess one good example for an underrepresented ethnic group in the media. Ironic, since I myself am 6% Cherokee. It&#39;s not too hard to pick out people with native blood in this country either, though often they are mixed. The English, Irish, German and Dutch who decided to colonize here did a pretty good job of decimating the native population. These days unless you travel to a reservation it&#39;s almost a question of identifying how much indian a person is, rather than whether or not they are.

 

[13788]

NineInchCock_160IQ:

Originally posted by jonb@Feb 10 2005, 03:29 AM
Well, SomeGuy, I&#39;ve even met people who invent their own stereotypes; I mean, Adam Beach played a fireworks salesman, and suddenly that was a new stereotype about Indians. So stereotypes can appear after only one situation.

Then there are the people who project so deeply into a stereotype. I mean, I had no idea Jar Jar Binks&#39;s floppy ears were a black stereotype.

And of course there are the insane stereotypes, e.g. Spongebob Squarepants being gay.

[post=281695]Quoted post[/post]​

I think it was more the big lips, big nose, thick hands, forward leaning posture, limited intellect, something about his accent and the tribal nature of his people that got people thinking that George was using some 1920&#39;s era cartoony African stereotype to come up with the gungans in Star Wars. I think some postulated the floppy ears were supposed to be like a rasta man&#39;s long dreads, but that could have been overlooked and the rest would still apply. Then of course there were the trade federation, with their slanty eyes, flat faces, strange accents, long robes, and their treacherous and conspiratory nature which were supposed to be asian stereotypes imported from 1945. and then Watto, again with the accent, big hooked nose, and lines like "mind tricks don&#39;t-a work on me... only money" who was supposed to be the Jew.

Not sure I buy into all that, but anyway, there was more to it than just floppy ears.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by NineInchCock_160IQ@Feb 10 2005, 03:39 AM
For instance, for us straight guys, the stereotype that most men do not have breasts, women do not have facial hair, and in general each sex wears gender-appropriate attire helps us out a great deal when we are in a bar trying to pick up girls. A lot of stereotypes are true, or at least mostly true.

[post=281701]Quoted post[/post]​

Okay - not sure but these are facts and not stereotypes...Stereotypes are opinions...And ethnic differences is what I think makes us unique and for some of us gives us a sense of self...I see you are pretty knowledgeable of cultural and ethnic difference...