Can't "100% str8" guys be just a little gay?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BIGdkluver, Jul 3, 2006.

  1. BIGdkluver

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    Several guys on this site classify themselves as 100% str8. Well, that's OK, but I keep hearing that no one is 100% str8. So, this question is directed mainly at those "100% str8" guys: Aren't there a few times when you are "a little" gay--or at least gay curious?

    For example, aren't you sometimes tempted to glance at other guys' naked penises in a locker room or while standing at a urinal? Don't you like to see how your penis size compares to other men's penises? Or can't you appreciate if a male movie star or male model is really handsome and well built? Doing so would certainly not make you gay. Since we come from both a male and a female parent, every person has both male and female traits within him. In fact, psychologists tell us that young children go through a homosexual phase that is not only normal but even necessary and desirable.

    I'm not trying to put down any str8 men. I just want to see if you will admit to sometimes being "a little" gay.

    Take me, for instance. I'm mostly VERY gay (about 90%), but I'll confess to sometimes admiring a beautiful woman and even being slightly attracted to her if she is shapely and has large, voluptuous breasts.

    So, come on. 'Fess up. You're among friends here. (This is a serious inquiry, so I would appreciate serious responses.) Thanks!
     
  2. novice_btm

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    I recently saw a comedian that told his protesting 100% straight friend, "I'll prove you are just a little bit gay."
    The friend says, "Go ahead."
    Comedian asks, "You watch porn?"
    "Love it. Like every red-blooded man should."
    "Do you only watch lesbian porn?"
    "No, I love watching a guy just really nail a chick, and..."
    "So, you get turned on when the guy's really going at her with one of those really small Vienna sausages?"
    "No way! When I'm watching porn, I wanna see a big, hung, thick, veiny, engorged, throbbing porno COCK, givin' it..."
    "Oh REALLY???" <insert hilarious, 'uh huh, did you just hear yourself?' look here>
    "Um, ok... huh, I did not know that about myself." :tongue:
     
  3. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    My response to that is that people who make that remark are over-simplifying. I think it's true to say that human sexuality cannot be easily confined to labels at all, since it is infinitely complex, with its own unique articulation in every individual. "100% gay" and "100% straight" are both absolute states of being at the bell-end of the spectrum; but who's to say they don't exist, whether through 'nature' or through social conditioning and the repression of all perceived 'contrary' drives?

    I would always argue that seeking to fit anyone to a definition of their own sexuality that they feel uncomfortable with is to enforce an alien, constricting label upon them. And in telling people that they can't inhabit the "100%" category, one is essentially doing just that. Yes, the "100% straight" and "100% gay" categories may well be social constructions... but the same can be said of every other attempt to define human sexuality; and for those who perceive themselves as "100%-ers", it is a valid articulation of their reality.
     
  4. slayer04

    slayer04 New Member

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    I classify being gay or straight on which I would prefer having a relationship with...since I could never date a guy I consider myself 100% straight...physical turn ons, for me at least, don't count because after all a mouth is a mouth and an ass is an ass
     
  5. nick22ca

    nick22ca Member

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    I agree with the post above. Human sexuality is so complex, and in many ways so arbitrarily defined, that the '100% Straight' category is just as valid as the '50% Straight/50% Gay' category. That said, according to my definition of my sexuality, I don't think admiring a big penis makes me even 1% gay. My definition revolves around the fact that the idea of having sex with men is physically repulsive. And if you think this is contradictory to admiring a big penis, it is still only contradictory with regard to your definition, and not mine.
     
  6. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    So who're you gonna believe, a guy who might know what he's talking about, or some sophist?

    I already know.

    I'm not really qualified to tell some guy who believes that he's 100% gay that he's wrong. And vice versa.

    Not that this isn't a good question, but it's not likely to yield to the sort of facile oversimplifications that are de rigeur here re political, scientific, or religious topics.
     
  7. Lex

    Lex
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    On THIS Site all things are possible:

    A 100% straight guy could be more than a little gay.

    A 90% gay guy can really be a straight guy.

    A 100% female could be a MAN (And usually is).
     
  8. rhino_horn

    rhino_horn New Member

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    100% straight means that you've never had a sexual thought about a man, and the thought of having sex with a man is pretty perverse to me...sure there are good-looking guys and bad-looking guys, but they are all guys, like me.

    i get nothing from seeing a man naked, whereas seeing an attractive woman naked usually does get me hard.

    *i have questions for gay dudes too, do your dicks get hard when you see a good-looking guy naked?

    *just curious about the way you guys see other guys.
     
  9. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I would hope so, heh heh -- though I'm interested in knowing if men who see themselves as close to 100% gay as possible have even the slightest notion, interest, thought, sexual attraction, etc., toward a woman. The gay guys I knew were so turned off by women that they resorted to derogatory names, usually referencing an unclean vagina. That's kinda cold. I mean, if a secure straight guy could understand or see how another guy would be attractive in one way or another, surely, a gay guy could think the same thing about a woman, even in a sexual way.
     
  10. Jeffin90620

    Jeffin90620 New Member

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    When research was being done on the likelihood of AIDS spreading from the Gay to Straight communities in the USA, one of the factoids in a summary was that 90% of the men who identified themselves as Totally (i.e. 100%) Gay admitted to at least one hetersexual liason in the previous 5 years.

    So, maybe, when a person here describes himself/herself as 100% this or that, (s)he is talking about Now instead of Ever. :rolleyes:

    Doing so makes me: 1) phallocentric and 2) jealous.

    To me, sex isn't sex unless a penis is involved. Girl-on-girl action just doesn't do it for me. I have seen gay porn, but I can't really say I've popped a chubby over it (probably because the men on the receiving end never make those sounds that women make when they are accomodating a huge phallus. :wink:

    I really don't think it makes me gay to admit that I wish I looked more like George Clooney or had hair like Dr. McDreamy on "Greys Anatomy", because my motivation is that it would make me more attractive to women.

    According to a study I read, well over half of psychologists, psychotherapists and other people in the mental health fields have admitted to being sexually abused as children and the most common Freudian slip is to use the word "parent" instead of "patient". I look at their conclusions about behavior with a jaundiced eye. If you ever have a child who is raped, make very sure that the counseling (s)he gets is not from a person who could be working through their own issues.
     
  11. rob_just_rob

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    That's my approach. I used to be a lot more bi than I am now. And I can't foretell the future very well. :wink:
     
  12. Matthew

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    I think there are some people that are 100% on either side. I'm close enough to one side that I can only surmise that others are as "monosexual" as I am or more. Whether some fleeting thought has ever crossed their mind, or whether they've ever noticed a really good-looking person who doesn't fit their sexual orientation, is irrelevant IMO.

    We all tend to universalize our own experience. I bet it's difficult for people who are bisexual, especially those who are just a little bi, to believe that the "100%ers" aren't simply denying some part of themselves.

    On the other hand, there is a disincentive in most societies to admit homosexual feelings. It could very well be that some people who claim 100% straight are not completely. And our definitions may vary. A guy who only sleeps with/has relationships with women but gets turned on by big dig pics is not 100% straight in my mind. But what difference does that make? People define themselves on their own terms. I take people's self-reported orientations at face value, why not? If they're not really what they say they are, it's no skin off my ass unless I'm fucking them (and not even then, really).

    Um, boing! Yes, but many of us have learned lots of control - popping a woodie in the locker room for example is not always a welcome situation.
     
  13. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Apparently I was 'acting gay' last Thursday and got punched for it *GASP*

    The background is, I'd had a litre of vodka and have no recollection of what acts I commited or how gay, if at all they were...

    So, I could really be gay but be in denial. Or maybe I was trying to be a funny drunk and it didn't work on my (insecure?) friends!

    I am however 100% straight. Fucking a man in the ass or a man fucking me in the ass just makes me cringe and doesn't get me hard.

    Maybe the 'everyone is a bit gay' theory is true. Or maybe I and the above posters are an exception to the rule.

    As for thoughts, all I think about is fucking women/girls (girls 18+ btw)...only problem is I wish I was getting it even half as much as I'm thinking it.
     
  14. Lex

    Lex
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    It is a common misconception that being a gay man means that you live to fuck and get fucked in the ass. It is SO much more than that. Anal sex is but one of many forms of physical and emotional intimacy that two people of any sexual combination can share and experience.

    I know many gay men who have no desire to be fucked. So, the sheer thought of cringing at anal sex just makes you adverse to anal sex, not straight.

    As for your story--alcohol tends to make people less inhibited. Some would say that your true, deeper self (usually caged) can come out when you are drunk. Who knows for sure? I think it is admirable that you have questioned your motives. Most would not even get that far.
     
  15. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Any sort of sex with a man is still a no no and vomit inducer for me though....having my dick sucked and then looking down to see a man there is one of my nightmares...

    I think it is interesting that not many gay men seem to like women and call them names...maybe they see them as competition in some way?
     
  16. Matthew

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    Definitely don't think that's true. But yes, some gay men are misogynists too.
     
  17. amhersthungboi

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    Alex, you're my hero.
     
  18. zygomatica

    zygomatica New Member

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    I was reading Details magazine recently while waiting on a flat tire and it said, (I paraphrase) in a recent study, 4 out of 5 men who identified themselves as heterosexual were physically aroused while watching man-on-man "gay" porn.

    In so many words, we like to watch people go at it, especially when these people are nice specimens and in this case, probably well-hung. I like big penises; I happen to prefer hetero porn. But that said, if a well hung man having sex excites you, are you 100% straight?

    Of course, we all know the numbers don't really mean anything. But the way some of the responses are written in this thread and throughout the site, it seems to me that SOME not most or all, of the "100% straight" contingency might need to challenge themselves a little more when attempting to define the boundaries of their sexuality.

    On top of that, there are too many comments made by this same group along the lines of, "kissing men and having sex with a man would make me sick". This is NOT a personal attack on any one person. However, these comments are unnecessary. You can be 100% straight without the sharp tongue that protects your manliness.

    How often do you read, on this site, (or anywhere else) a gay man talking about how a woman repulses him, so that he can protect his homosexual status? I believe it is far less common than the aggressive sentiments of the "100% straight" men.

    I find these comments to be inflammatory, but more than that, immature. Everyone knows that you are 100% man, so you don't have to talk about what repulses you. How could something truly repulse you if you haven't tried it at least a couple of times? (and i know that some of the 100%ers have had same-sex experiences).

    I say a couple of times because in order to really have any idea about your feelings for a man, woman, or other, you'd need to have a couple of experiences so that you could compare. If you make out with a man twice, and don't like it, it might be because he just doesn't do it for you, for instance, the same way everyone has so-so encounters with their "preferred" gender partners.
     
  19. nick22ca

    nick22ca Member

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    Such comments are not inflammatory, and they are not the last-ditch defense of someone's sexuality that you make it out to be. Likewise, the argument of knowledge without experience has absolutely no basis in reality. Sexual feeling is not the same as trying out a new food. Frankly, I find this simplification of human sexuality to be inflammatory. How can you pretend to know the mind of someone else, especially when it comes to them defining something as complex as their own sexuality? Even in this post, you have grossly misclassified someone such as myself. In my definition of my sexuality (of which you really have no clue), 100% straight and 100% 'man' are in no way synonymous. I don't even know what '100% man' means. Furthermore I think you glossed over the context of this thread. Saying that the thought of having sex with men physically repulses me was intended to give the original poster some insight into what one of the '100% straight' people may be thinking. I hope this adequately addressed the above pretension.
     
  20. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    I am 100% straight, and this means that I am sexually and sentimentally attracted only by women.

    I have never felt any attraction for a guy, unless you consider attraction gettin a glance at a guy's penis in the locker room just to see how we compare (again, in this cases, no sex or love involved).

    Regarding male beauty, i can see if a guy is good looking, obviously, but my first reaction, if not indifference is : "Why don't I look like him?"
     
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