Can't be alone

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by porter111, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. porter111

    porter111 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    PA, USA
    Hey guys,

    I have a relative who always has the need to be in a relationship, hes a guy to, usually when you hear about this its a female. Why is it that some people always seem to jump from one relationship to the next, its like they can't just be alone for 6 months or a years time. Anyone know the phsycology behind this?

    Porter
     
  2. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

    D_Hyacinth Harrytwat Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    I already know who's going to jump at the invitation to splurge psychology at you, but with that aside, oy! Your cousin!!!! Well I guess he's getting laid, right?
     
  3. cdarro

    cdarro New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2009
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southern Alberta, Canada
    Don't know the psychological term(s), but I have more than a few friends like this, can't seem to spend any time alone at all. Seems to be fairly common.
     
  4. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2005
    Messages:
    1,285
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bay Area, California
    Plain and simple loneliness?
    Needs a partner in order to "feel complete"?
    Needs a partner who gives attention/compliments/validation?
    Needs a partner for regular sex?
     
  5. Rugbypup

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    3,193
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I think being alone is the default setting for some/most people.

    We all must learn to live with it.

    Finding someone and being in a relationship is something very special and rare, but spending life chasing that can be as sad as never having anyone.
     
  6. cdarro

    cdarro New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2009
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southern Alberta, Canada
    All of the above, I guess; and others as well. As for me, I need a fair amount of "alone time" even in a relationship.
     
  7. dirrtyminded

    dirrtyminded Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2009
    Messages:
    187
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    54
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto
    Yeah I have a friend that is like that, some kind of "serial monogamist".
    She ends a relationship and goes on to the next guy with no space or grieving process.
     
  8. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,856
    Likes Received:
    34
    my kid sis can't do alone.
    but i do alone wonderfully.
    as long as she doesn't expect me to like the losers then i can deal with it just fine.
     
  9. freeballer24

    freeballer24 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    29
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    ohio
    coming from a guy that does't like to be alone... I love to be i realtionships i've had 3 from the time i turned 18 and i'm 24 now. I'm all about long term relationships. The reason that I hate to be alone is that, there is this deep lonliness I have inside of me. which came from my childhood, my mom had five kids. my mom and dad got divorced when I was real young so I never had a relationship with him and my mom was adopted so we knew none of our famliy, And my mom was very religious and spebt most of her time in church so I didn't get much attention from her either... when the pastor of the church found out I was gay she kicked me out and then made my mom kid me out the house, I was only 17!!!!

    So my reason for no liking being alone is that I need attention that I never received as a kid. I work on this everyday, just trying to enjoy my own company and loving myself.
    BTW, for everyone that will look at this and think i'm throwing a pitty party, I'M NOT. I just wanted to share why I hate being alone.
     
  10. freeballer24

    freeballer24 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    29
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    ohio
    sorry for the mistakes, I didnt have alot of time. SORRY!
     
  11. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,095
    Likes Received:
    52
    Some people can't be alone, and need the affection/attention of another person. that is why they immidiatly have another gf when they break up with the last one. Some of my collegefriends have this issue badly.
     
  12. D_Cock_Hudson

    D_Cock_Hudson New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    1,023
    Likes Received:
    18
    I've come across people like this, male and female, who seem to accept very imperfect relationships.
     
  13. MrMXYZPTLK

    MrMXYZPTLK New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2005
    Messages:
    555
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Whether it's male or Female, I call it the Prince Charming Effect.

    I know a couple of people like this.

    They just always need to be in a relationship. They always want to have a significant other around. To show off and brag about. They think them having a significant other gives them a step up on everyone else.

    If they break up, they are with someone new within 4 days. It's really really wierd to me.

    But GUY OR GIRL, they seem to want the happy brady bunch family, white picket fence life. For some reason they think it's a race and want to get to it before everyone else.

    Just REALLY wierd to be, Always wanting to be with someone else.
     
  14. Pendlum

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    2,142
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    Oh man, I feel bad for you. :frown: I don't blame you for not wanting to be alone, but I am glad you are working on it. It shows a great amount of self-awareness, which is a great quality. Good luck.

    As for the OP, most people I knew in my high school were like this, either always jumping, or never stops trying to get into a relationship. For a while I used, and occasionally still do, get asked why I don't have a girlfriend. So I think it is more common that you might realize.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice