Cant Cum!!!

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by wildwestend, Mar 8, 2010.

  1. wildwestend

    wildwestend New Member

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    Please I need as much advice as possible. This week I spent very much time with my girfriend.....I would honestly say we fucked atleast 15-20 times , some of these times I was on Viagra just to try it out. I only cummed once, and this was in the middle of the week and I had to jerk it while she was sucking my balls after a long period of intercourse and I FINALLY came, I got so happy. But while fucking her I could not cum at all, she would always orgasm....there are many differant situations that would occur: after a while of fucking I would go soft.....after a while of fucking I would feel like I was going to cum but nothing would happen......after a while of fucking I thought I was cumming and when I shot the load it was urine (this happeend 3 times)....and only once after a while of fucking I began to jerk it and I came all over her face......other times I tried this but nothing happened......

    Please this is ruining my life. I feel like I'm not making her happy, I feel like I'm not a man, it's ruining our relationship, I feel like I'm not the one for her, but really I love her very much. I just want to make her happy, but I'm so scared now for us that it's not going to work out....we want to have children and I can't even cum during sex. She gave me atleast 20 blowjobs and I STILL couldnt cum. I need help please Im depressed right now.
     
  2. hunkydory

    hunkydory Member

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  3. green carnation

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    what a week! 20 blowjobs and 15 to 20 fucks. Relationship and life ruined. And to top it off, going soft while on viagra! Hunkydory has hit the nail on the head i think
     
  4. wildwestend

    wildwestend New Member

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    Im on no meds of any sort....... I just masterbated to pictures of my girl and a HUGE load came out.......I dont know why I can cum lookin at her pictures but in real like when I have her do anything I want I cant cum.....this is getting to my head.
     
  5. AlphaSpartan

    AlphaSpartan New Member

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    Your hands are causing tons of damage to your cock, when you go in for sex it won't stimulate you as much if any.

    Take a couple weeks off porn and masturbation and I guarantee you; you'll be back in action. Couple of weeks now or losing her for a lot longer than two weeks: your choice.
     
  6. TopDudeFtl

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    Also, relax. Your mind has just as much to do with you having an orgasm as your penis. You may be putting way too much pressure on yourself. And hey, if she's getting off...that's half the battle my friend. I also agree on taking some time off from other stimulation. When I was younger, I would masturbate wildly before having sex so I would last longer. Apparently you are having the opposite happen to you.
     
  7. wildwestend

    wildwestend New Member

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    AlphaSpartan: Before this week that just passed, I didnt masterbate for 2 months. I didnt ejaculate for 2 months. The reason I did this was so that your advice would work, because to me this was common sense. I knew that I would lose stimulation and that I need to be ready for lots of fucking. But, this didnt help in 1 shape or form. I thought the first time I fuck her I would come in 1 minute, but that never happened. I only masterbated today because I know when you dont relaese sperm from sex that it will happen in ure dreams anytime soon...and I wanted to masterbate to her pictures, and i ejaculated in 6 minutes using some vaseline. In real life I have fucked her in any position I want, she sucked my dick soo much, my balls, I even fucked her in the ass....but nothing. Only one time I masterbated while she was sucking my balls after a long session and I came and it felt soo goood for both of us, she was happy and so was I.

    TopDude: She tells me Im putting too much pressure on myself as well "I always want to do better and better" and that I dont enjoy it for myself. She tells me she hasnt orgaismd the way she has with me with any other guy shes been with. She says sometimes its twice or three. I was doubting at first, thinkin its just talk to relax me, but once I pulled out and her sperm was all over the condom, I got happy thinking it was my sperm but she said no its hers.

    I know the part where I piss instead of cum is not really a problem, because I was soo focused on cumming that I would pussh hard, and Im guessign since ti wasnt there piss would come out.

    I know the most important part is to relax my mind..... but its real hard for me. It may also be trust issues, Im the type of person that really doesnt trust people because Ive been betrayed soo much times.

    I was thinkin about me being cirumcicsed, but that isnt a fact because I have many many friends that are circumsized, my brother being one, and tey are just fine. My brother says he wishes he was like me n can last 1 hour, he says he goes off after 6 minutes.

    I just need help, I love this girl, we have many plans, we want to start a family, and I just dont want my penis to be the reason everything gets ruined. I keep thinkin how am I going to get her pregant if I cant cum.....(ive never fucked without a condom maybe that will help but I still need to be able to cum with a condom on).
     
  8. zack800

    zack800 New Member

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    (I know the most important part is to relax my mind..... but its real hard for me. It may also be trust issues, Im the type of person that really doesnt trust people because Ive been betrayed soo much times.

    I was thinkin about me being cirumcicsed, but that isnt a fact because I have many many friends that are circumsized, my brother being one, and tey are just fine.)

    Hey dude. First you really need to relax. Instead of telling your genitals," I need to cum in my girlfriend. I really have to cum," you need to seriously relax for your body to orgasm naturally. Another problem you have here is fear. Your fear of not being able to cum WILL hinder sexual performance as your mind is not CONCENTRATING and ENJOYING SEX with your girlfriend but ON "what if you are not able to cum". To really enjoy sex with her, just take things naturally. I know you are quite a romantic/ passionate lover and that will do just fine.
    You might also wanna have a longer session of foreplay and you could ask her to give you more blowjobs and handjobs before sex itself. (It's good to hear that you don't masturbate days/ weeks before having sex and it really decreases the stimulation your penis receives during coitus.)
    Once you're ready, have sex! Find the position which you find most pleasurable to you. And don't keep changing positions. Also at the same time, I know you'll surely wanna satisfy her. So ensure that she's comfortable with the position. Otherwise, you could try the most stimulating position to you closer to the end of the coitus period to really peak those sensations for you in order for you to cum.
    What I think the main problem is here is that you are not enjoying yourself enough. Remember:Your fear of not being able to cum WILL hinder sexual performance as your mind is not CONCENTRATING and ENJOYING SEX with your girlfriend but ON "what if you are not able to cum". To really enjoy sex with her, just take things naturally.
    Enjoy Sex. Don't think. You and I think too much. Just relax and enjoy coitus. Maybe some aromatherapy or calming music might help you to relax during coitus too :)

    Hope this piece of advice helps! I'm a Biology Student who's very interested in genital function. Good Luck bro! Message me if this works :) God Bless!
     
  9. zack800

    zack800 New Member

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    Oh yes. One more thing. Think about it!. To my understanding, most Americans and Canadians are circumcised? If circumcision were a hindrance to sexual performance, how come sooo many guys are still able to fertilise women?

    The thing is: Don't Think. Don't PRESSURIZE yourself! VERY imp. Have Fun, Be a Passionate Lover as you are. Take things naturally. Do what it takes to relax. Oh yes. Breathe too! When the sensations do peak, breathe deeply. It helps :).
    As I mentioned, you might wanna try aromatherapy or play some light, relaxing cum raunchy tunes to help you relax :)
     
  10. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    Surprisingly I had the exact same experience with the drug Viagra. While it can add a great deal to erection it made it nearly impossible for me to get "over the top" and actually ejaculate. There are things which can affect this as far as other medications, but Viagra can be an issue. Try both Levitra and Cialis and see if you have the same experience. In my own case the "no cum" effect lasted on one occasion for two days.

    If you really need something to help erections, I have found more problems with the orals personally than they are worth. I went on injection therapy and all of them ended and in fact using the injectables on occasion I can do the "multi-ejaculation rumba". I can do better than I did before I was injured and recover faster than when I was 16 years old! The Viagra itself could be what did you in!

    Good Luck!
     
  11. wildwestend

    wildwestend New Member

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    Well, I doubt its the viagra, because the first time we had sex I didn't use viagra, and I still couldn't come. I only used the viagra to experiment it, it was perfect for ercetions, hard on erections. I experienced NONE of the side effects, no headaches, runny nose, blurred vission or anything. I may use it here and there, but nothing serious, because Im afraid if one uses it alot it will have some sort of side effects in the future. Also, when I did cum while I was jerking it by her face, I was on the viagra. I don't know. She says shes not worried because I came once so she knows I can cum and get her pregnant if we would like, and that now I just need to work on my mind. Im still really scared. I dont understand how someone can have sex so much and not cum. I was thinking ok the first time whatver, second time whatever, third time should happen, fourth time it MUST happen.....but nothing was happening. I love the girl..... she doesnt have all the qualities that ive loved in woman since a young age (huge breasts), but I dont care about that. I love her breasts the way they are. When I fuck her, honestly her pussy doesnt feel soo tight, and my dick aint HUGE, but still I fucked her in the ass for a lil while and that was tight, but way differant. I just need some help, Im going to see the doctor sometime this week.
     
  12. zack800

    zack800 New Member

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    Sounds like to me it's still a a mental problem rather than physical problem :) Just relax. MAKE LOVE ! :) haha
     
  13. AlphaSpartan

    AlphaSpartan New Member

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    You've got to drop all masturbation until the problem is solved. Just like when I was learning to play guitar and wanted to play the simple stuff over and over: who cares if you can play chords if you can't shed the neck so hard you break the strings.

    If two months of keeping your hands off and your eyes covered haven't worked it has to be one (maybe both) of two things:

    Performance anxiety - after years of watching porn so I could "become just as good", I found myself feeling useless if I wasn't constantly rock hard or shooting huge loads or pulling crazy stunts. Communication is your biggest friend here. If there's anything at all; any question, any concern, any fantasy that you or her are keeping quiet about to avoid humiliation - get it out in the open. There are times I've told women outrageous thing I want to do just so they'll open up and I have something to work with. You can always tell them that was the strategy later when you're enjoying yourselves.

    Health - a huge percentage of people (Americans, especially) have it ingrained into their culture and minds that fast food (McDonald's, Burger King, Hardee's, Taco Bell... you name it) is a perfectly acceptable way of life. This comment is sure to draw hatred, but: anything produced on a mass, cost efficient scale is detrimentally bad for your health and body. I know, I know, with the economy the way it is this seems like the best financial plan... but in the process we're slowly killing ourselves. It is very likely your blood isn't getting oxygenated and is therefore low quality blood... a boner's worst nightmare. I highly recommend detoxing your body with good purified water (I drink three liters of Culligan daily). I know that sounds like I'm another health nut, but, believe me - your body will start yearning for water after a few weeks of drinking it solely. You'll get addicted to it and think soda is just as gross as urine.

    Let me know if this helps and give me an update.
     
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