Can't finish!

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by xxncxx, Jan 16, 2010.

  1. xxncxx

    xxncxx New Member

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    Hey everyone, so I've been in a casual relationship with a guy for a few months now and it's been really great except for one pretty crucial area on my end...despite anything that's happening, whether I am fucking him or getting head or even just having him jack me off it's almost impossible for me to cum. Only twice of the dozen or so times we've gotten together have I actually finished because of something that he was doing. Now I don't think the problem is that he's doing a bad job, personally I think it could just be related to the fact that the first two guys I had experiences with would ONLY accept me jerking off at the end. Now it seems like I just can't get off when there's just another person around me, and as you probably can tell this does more than ruin the mood a little bit. Does anyone have similar troubles or have suggestions how we can improve it? I'm not the most experienced person so it's kind of hard for me to know what I could change.
     
  2. Brick7

    Brick7 Active Member

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    So how about reversing your method? Have you ever edged?
    Edging is where you jerk off and approach your orgasm but stop before reaching it. Then, when the feeling that you're going to cum subsides you start up again but, again, don't cum.
    If your guy is willing to work with you on this, try jerking off until you come close to your orgasm but don't cum. Then let him go down on you or start fucking and you may be close enough to your orgasm that you will will be able to finish in his mouth or ass without having to jerk yourself off.

    If you do this enough times, eventually you may find that you won't need to edge before hand anymore.
     
  3. brislands

    Verified Gold Member

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    I have the same problem. Very difficult for me to finish. I've always been this way. The girls I've been with start to feel like it's their fault, but I tell them I've always been this way.
     
  4. SpeedoMike

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    what meds are you on? this is a side effect of many. also, maybe something else is affecting you so a physical by your M.D. may find something.
     
  5. Stickit

    Stickit New Member

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    I have the same issue, with all my previous partners not one has made me finish off :( I just don't understand why either :(
     
  6. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    Hey, dude I have the same problem always have ever since I was a teen. I can't finish from getting jerked, or a blowjob, or even from fuckin a guy.

    Usually I offer to bottom for the dude and stroke it while he is fuckin me in the ass. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, finish when I do that!
     
  7. mikey_r

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    I know how you feel and I'm not sure how to remedy it, I've never cum from having a BJ regardless of how it felt, not once, and handjobs are pretty much the same way. It brought my last GF to tears because she couldn't make me cum giving me BJs even after working on my dick for what seemed like hours, it still wouldn't be enough. I had the same problem with sex, but that was solved by buying wider condoms, the smaller ones were cutting off blood supply to my dick and making it go numb. Good for her, but I do get exhausted after awhile...
     
  8. xxncxx

    xxncxx New Member

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    Yeah, I mean I'm a definite bottom so that's always a possibility, haha!

    No meds to speak of here!

    Thanks for the tips so far though guys!
     
  9. chiguy1977

    chiguy1977 New Member

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    There have been a number of times when I've had the same thing happen either to me or the guy I'm with. Couple things work well for me personally.

    First, I tend to jack off once or twice a day. Holding off from that works wonders if you have a little stage fright.

    Second, relax everything, including all the muscles in your pelvic area. Relax into your hard on, don't keep trying to tense it up. There's a lot of musculature in the groin and tensing everything up doesn't always let the right parts do their right functions. You may get a little softer at first, but I guarantee that if you consciously relax your muscles, and your shoulders, and try to lose the tension in your body, in no time you'll be right on the edge.

    When I'm more relaxed into an orgasm I shoot way further too.

    And finally, whoever you are with should watch the way you stroke yourself and try to emulate it. Dicks are like snowflakes. They're all different and they all crave attention in different ways. Whoever your partner is, I'm sure they want to do whatever feels good, so talk to them about what is/isn't working. That's way better than keeping silent anyway.
     
  10. crescendo69

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    I completely agree; may I use this statement in my signature?:biggrin1:
     
  11. Cougar

    Cougar New Member

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    Brick had excellent advise
     
  12. D_Meneage Saltass

    D_Meneage Saltass New Member

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    as someone who has the OPPOSITE problem . . . i feel like maybe i actually might have some advice that might work . . . basically, just do the opposite of what i do when i'm trying NOT to cum too fast.
    1. Try to abstain from masturbating between encounters.
    2. Help you partners to use positions and techniques that focus on your most sensitive parts.
    3. Most importantly: Relax. I think that with both cumming too fast and not being able to cum, sure there's a physical component but also a lot of it is mental. if you fixate on this problem, it's not gonna get better. don't worry about it and don't think about orgasm as being the be all and end all of sex. just enjoy all the sensations involved.
    4. This might be TOTALLY our of the box and TOTALLY not work, but just switch you focus from TRYING to cum. For me, with my stamina issues, if i TRY not to cum, it makes me faster . . . the strange thing is, sometime if i just think "ok, try to cum fast" . . . i actually end up lasting longer as i'm not worried about it. Maybe if you think "ok, whatever you do . . . don't cum" . . . you will. of course . . . maybe not. worth a try though.

    good luck!!!!
     
  13. hughballs

    hughballs New Member

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    I can only cum when i masterbate myself, im 44 now this has all ways been the way my partners cant seem to simiulate me the same way i do my self , does anyone have same problem and or know how to over cum this?
     
  14. Kyle123

    Kyle123 New Member

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    I take a long time to finish too, I've never been able to finish in less than 20 minutes with vaginal sex.

    I've never been able to finish with a BJ and only since I've been wearing my foreskin back have I been able to enjoy it, prior, I didnt like any mouth on the head as it was hyper-sensitive, now after wearing it back for a few months, I can fully enjoy a BJ, still cant finish though.

    I can finish with a well handled handjob and I MUCH prefer my GF doing over over me, as she has tiny hands and I have big ones
     
  15. BigDallasDick8x6

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    Practice, practice, practice. A dozen or so times that you've been together isn't enough for you to re-program yourself. It will happen.

    I do agree with the relax advice as it pertains to mental outlook -- don't get hung up on cumming --relax. But as far as physically goes, keep in mind it is much easier to cum with your legs together. In fact advice for rapid cummers is to keep their legs spread wide. Various body parts have to tighten up for you to cum so keeping your legs apart delays that. Conversely keeping them together makes it easier to cum. Just one more thing to be aware of if you weren't already. Good luck!
     
  16. chiguy1977

    chiguy1977 New Member

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    Quote me and use it any time :biggrin1:
     
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