Can't get a hard-on during sex

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by crazy87, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. crazy87

    crazy87 New Member

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    Hey
    I have a real problem getter a proper erection during sex... When im home alone fapping its no problem to get rock hard but when im having sex or get a bj i just can't get properly hard.
    I guess this is rather a mental than a physical issue.
    Could it be because for the past 5 years or so i have fapped at least one time a day?
    Or can anyone give me some tips about this?

    Thanks in advance
     
  2. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    my theory is your cock is very large so it needs lots of blood to get very hard.. when you are on your own at your home and can jerk off and edge as much as you want you allow your penis to get fully engorged with blood and it could take several minutes for very large members like yours.. the same doesn't happen when you have sex and all the job is often done in few minutes.. it happens to me too but to a lesser extent of course
     
  3. dad4you

    dad4you Member

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    You may want to try stopping masturbation for a few days and see what happens on your next sexual encounter. You may try a cock ring with a partner. Yeh, erections are pretty mental/emotional as well as physical. I never had a successful BJ until I was 50, when a guy just went for it anyway, and I not only got hard, but it was totally amazing.
    going with the above posters idea, maybe if you tried longer foreplay with your partner might help also
     
    #3 dad4you, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2011
  4. Fallchild337

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    I have the same problem, it's very embarassing :( I jerk off a shit ton though so I always figured it was my fault. I just can't stop though haha and sexual encounters are few and far between for me, so I usually have no warning beforehand.
     
  5. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    few encounters for you?? with your dick?? man you are wasting your life... if I had your cock I 'd be a pussy hunter :D
     
  6. crazy87

    crazy87 New Member

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    I have a cockring (with 5cm diameter) but it hurts a bit when i put it on.
    I stopped mastrubating for almost 2 weeks now (well not really stopped but at least i always stop myself before cumming) it seemed to help a little but not that much.

    @Mystic Wolf: Yeah i also thought it might have something to do with the amount of blood needed, however i don't know how to fix that other than just taking much time.
     
  7. mariposa1125

    mariposa1125 New Member

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    You need to have a patient girl who you trust to help you with this. You shouldn't be so performance-centered or orgasm-centered. You just need to kick back and enjoy the feelings. I think that as soon as you feel like you need to perform and produce, the pressure is on. That's why you don't have the problem when you're alone. Good luck. Find a loving, patient girl.
     
  8. beegkok

    beegkok New Member

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    Same problem here. Never had normal sex becouse of that. And I think mariposa1125 is right, I need loving girl to do that, it`s emotional.
     
  9. wildmann86

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    if the cockring hurts then its too tight. the ring is suppose to be snug but not cause pain. i have been using cockrings for a while and i find them great for better erections
     
  10. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    is this cockring the type that is worn around your dick base AND balls or around your dick base only??
     
  11. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    As a general rule you are right saying that it could be the anxiety generated by the performance expectations but in his case I'd say it's not just the answer... His ego is easily boosted by every girl looking at his cock even it seen soft and hanging... even in that state he is way bigger than most men... Men are usually overwhelmed by stress of performance due to size concerns
     
  12. hud01

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    I will be the thorn in this...have you been with a guy yet? I get hard just kissing. You either have an emotional, physical, or sexual issue.
     
  13. crazy87

    crazy87 New Member

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    Ugh to be honest idk, heres a pic of it (5cm diameter)
    [​IMG]

    @hud01: I got a bj by a guy once, but didn't like it at all.

    I also think we can rule out any kind of physical/medical issue because when i'm alone and watching porn or so i can get a boner easily.

    One thing that always wonderes me when having sex (with semi-hard cock) is that i felt almost nothing. I mean there was no resistance, no pressure from the sides etc. When i fap i usually grab my cock as hard as i can.
    Maybe feeing nothing is caused by condoms?
     
  14. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    ok I've seen it but you didnt explain me if you trioed to wear it around your dick and balls or around your dick alone :D
     
  15. crazy87

    crazy87 New Member

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    Oh i've tried wearing it around dick & balls (hurt) and just around dick (didn't feel any effect)
     
  16. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

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    Not sure why sexual encounters would be few and far in between for you. You state 30% gay and tons of guys would love to have fun with that unit of yours. Also, you live in New York, not North Dakota, so there are tons of people near you.
     
  17. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

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    5 cm is slightly less than 2 inches for the diameter. My cock is not as big as yours, but my balls/scrotum are bigger, and I use a 2.25" diameter ring around the base of everything to be comfortable and effective. You surely also need at least a 2.25" diameter.
     
  18. titsmagee9

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    I think squeezing your cock so hard when you jack off is probably at least one reason for your issues. You're used to intense pressure on your cock when you get off, and although your cock is huge, a pussy just doesn't squeeze that hard. I would suggest cutting down on masturbating, especially during the day / the day before you know you're going to have sex. Also, try training yourself to still get off while not grabbing it quite as hard. This will be tough, avoiding what you know will feel the best, but remember how much you want to have a normal sex life.

    Other thoughts:

    Trying extra thin condoms could help, I had a friend in high school who couldn't come the first few times he fucked his gf. Just didn't feel anything on his dick really. Then he got some thinner condoms and the problem went away.

    How strong is your connection/attraction to your partner? I know there's been a few times for me where I was questioning whether I was really just using someone for sex and it usually became harder to achieve a hard-on/orgasm when we would have sex. Feeling guilty or shameful about sex, even sub-consciously, makes very hard (well actual the opposite lol) to be completely engaged and enjoy it.

    I also read an article recently that was describing a phenomenon where a lot of young guys are having similar difficulties as yours and it was attributed to watching too much porn basically. The theory was that because porn is so stimulating and diverse (you might see 20 different girls getting fucked in one jack-off session) that your standards for arousal become very high and a real life girl is almost boring in comparison. Do you not feel totally turned on when you try to have sex? If you think this might be the case maybe dirty talk and more extended foreplay could help, as well as cutting back on the amount of pornography you watch. Or maybe try watching just one video and really focusing on that girl. I don't really know if that would help but it kind of makes sense.

    Anyways, best of luck to you, hope this helps in some way or another, or at least gets you thinking in the right direction.
     
  19. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Maybe you need a new boyfriend.
     
  20. crazy87

    crazy87 New Member

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    @swede82: Well, where to find cockrings with that diameter? :D
    The largest i could find was 5cm (2 inch)

    @titsmagee9: Thanks for your reply, i'll stop fapping and watching porn all together now. (well i say that now, lets see how long i will stick to it :D ) But i'll try at least.

    @Hickboy: Nah thanks, i really have no interest in men :D
    In fact i've been invited to some group sex parties/swinger clubs but declined cause i don't like it when men try to give me a bj or make me suck their cock.
     
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