Can't get a hard-on during sex

[1Cody]

Oh, I don't know, but it does seem to be emotional/mental thing especially after losing a long time partner and it has more to do with becoming one with the person I am engaging in sex with. I am very frustrated trying to penetrate and will lose an erection quickly. My cock stays rock hard until that very moment. It is almost as though my body don't want to, but my desire does??!! I am having my testosterone level checked, but I suspect that since I sleep nearly the whole night through with a hard on, this may really be an emotional/mental thing. I have hurt different partners feelings before and it certainly ruins their desire for me. I am taking the approach that when a good sexual encounter happens it will happen. In the meantime, I will enjoy the oral!

 

[Fallchild337]

I think squeezing your cock so hard when you jack off is probably at least one reason for your issues. You're used to intense pressure on your cock when you get off, and although your cock is huge, a pussy just doesn't squeeze that hard. I would suggest cutting down on masturbating, especially during the day / the day before you know you're going to have sex. Also, try training yourself to still get off while not grabbing it quite as hard. This will be tough, avoiding what you know will feel the best, but remember how much you want to have a normal sex life.

Other thoughts:

Trying extra thin condoms could help, I had a friend in high school who couldn't come the first few times he fucked his gf. Just didn't feel anything on his dick really. Then he got some thinner condoms and the problem went away.

How strong is your connection/attraction to your partner? I know there's been a few times for me where I was questioning whether I was really just using someone for sex and it usually became harder to achieve a hard-on/orgasm when we would have sex. Feeling guilty or shameful about sex, even sub-consciously, makes very hard (well actual the opposite lol) to be completely engaged and enjoy it.

I also read an article recently that was describing a phenomenon where a lot of young guys are having similar difficulties as yours and it was attributed to watching too much porn basically. The theory was that because porn is so stimulating and diverse (you might see 20 different girls getting fucked in one jack-off session) that your standards for arousal become very high and a real life girl is almost boring in comparison. Do you not feel totally turned on when you try to have sex? If you think this might be the case maybe dirty talk and more extended foreplay could help, as well as cutting back on the amount of pornography you watch. Or maybe try watching just one video and really focusing on that girl. I don't really know if that would help but it kind of makes sense.

Anyways, best of luck to you, hope this helps in some way or another, or at least gets you thinking in the right direction.

Every point you made is valid. Food for thought, especially about the desensitivity due to porn :/ It takes some extreme shit for me to enjoy porno now, so I totally understand.

 

[B_bxmuscle]

Some good advice among some here.

I agree with those who say that you should masturbate less.

Also, I don't know the context of your sexual encounters, but I think developing more intimacy before sex will reduce any performance anxiety that may at work here.

Personally, I dislike cock-rings, etc, intensely. They seem to me to be designed for those who are sexually exhausted and worn-out, real decadents that can't cut the mustard anymore after . I'd sooner recommend viagra or some other pill over a cock-ring or other devises designed to prop up a conically flaccid penises. Good Luck1

 

[crazy87]

I agree with those who say that you should masturbate less.

I agree too
I've told myself not to touch my cock or watch porn till my next sexual encounter... Might as well be a good New Year's pledge

@Fallchild337:
I've kind of the same problem but from what i hear, spending a month without fapping will help.